The nominees for Worst Ninja Ever are...

November Wednesday, early

2011-11-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

It's early November, a Wednesday, and I'm up and around before 9am. This is novel to me, but it shouldn't be, as any day now the snow will fly and fall upon my route to and from work like a Chinese army of hexagonal killjoys tittering in the frosty Edmonton air.

Surprisingly, I'm still able to take Midnight to work with me, which makes getting home and off to rehearsal an easy proposition, but it's not going to last. Today may be the last riding day of the season, which I've come to terms with despite the ickiness of this year's spring and the shortness of the summer.

Every year, at around this time, I wonder why I haven't yet gotten myself a decent spring/autumn coat, warm gloves and a hat or toque. I'm all set for winter, but not for the lead-up to it. I suppose that will all be moot soon, too.

The sun is still low on the horizon, and I'm betting Midnight is going to complain mightily about being started this early. My space in this house is altogether too hot and dry. Winter is coming, and in the cold, dark days of December and January, I'm goingt o be mighty thankful of the efficiency of this new furnace my landlord's installed.

Wyrd Sisters is coming up at the Walterdale.

Pure Speculation Festival is coming up at MacEwan University.

I'm making a hair appointment for this weekend.

See how the start of winter goes? My days are just packed.

Brony

2011-10-16T23:13:00.001-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen of the Society for Judging the Tastes of Others, I submit to you this admission, given freely and earnestly: I an a brony.

What, you don't know what a brony is? *sigh* Okay, I'll explain. Way back in the 1980's, the heyday of cartoons-as-toy-marketing, we had Saturday morning cartoons. Not just a couple of hours on a couple of channels, but six or more hours on most of the channels on TV. Remember, these were the days before ubiquitous broadband, always-on internet, before mobile phones were everywhere, before instant, worldwide communication at your fingertips. Entire Saturday mornings could be, and were, wasted in front of the boob tube, being exposed to half-hour long commercials for toys that we would ask for at Christmastime and for birthdays.

And some of these "ads" were targeted to specific genders. Generally, the C.O.P.S., the Blackstars and Dino Riders were targeted at boys, and the Shirt Tales, the Rainbow Brites and Strawberry Shortcakes were targeted at girls. There were certainly unisex cartoons like A Pup Named Scooby-Doo or maybe Pound Puppies. And then there were cartoons geared more towards the family rather than kids, like The Laverne and Shirley, The Little Rascals, or Gilligan's Planet, since it was unlikely that little kids would have watched the shows those cartoons were based on.

But I digress. One of the girl-oriented cartoons back then was My Little Pony, a show about, well, colourful talking ponies. The toys were super popular with girls, and I remember the cartoon playing for years. I never watched it, since it was obviously for girls and I was, just as obviously, a boy.

Fast forward to 2010. The little boy who loved cartoons is now a little man who loves cartoons. He loves all the old Warner Brothers classics and The Simpsons as well as some of the more adult-oriented stuff like Family Guy, Clone High, Frisky Dingo, and Metalocalypse. He loves a bunch of the "cartoons" coming out of Japan too, and has an extensive anime collection. One day, he sees the following clip on YouTube, linked from someone or something or other:

The clean, simplified animation style, the vibrant colours and, of course, the voice acting made me double over in laughter. I had to watch that clip again and again, and even now I can bring up that clip and get a chuckle out of it. But why? Why would a grown man (and, apparently, a bajillion grown men all over the place) be drawn to this latest incarnation of what was ostensibly a girl's cartoon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?

Well, I can't speak for other bronies (a portmanteau of bro and pony) or pegasisters (a portmanteau of pegasus and sisters, obviously), but I like it because it's clean, simple, and above all, harmless fun and it's educational without being preachy. When it comes to teaching lessons, it shows rather than tells, leading by example with "good, better, best" rather than slamming kids over the head with "musts" and "because I said so's." A very positive show.

Let's take a look at how they accomplish this. Right from the get-go, in the two-part premier, our plucky young protagonist, a studious purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, discovers that an ancient prophecy may be coming to fruition and rushes to tell her mentor, the ruler of the land, Princess Celestia. Celestia tasks her bookish student with overseeing the preparations for the land's biggest celebration, the Summer Sun Celebration, and encourages her to make some friends as well.

While doing her rounds, Twilight Sparkle meets Ponyville's most interesting characters, each of whom happens to represent a different facet of friendship, and each of whom happens to correspond with one of the fabled Elements of Harmony which, when used together, can take care of this terrible prophecy that just happens to come true during the episode.

Already, we have a story about meeting new friends, about working together, and about how awesome we can be if we all work together. Forget about this being a show aimed at girls, this is a good lesson for any kid (or anyone who's a kid at heart). By the end of the episode, Twilight and her newfound friends do take care of the prophecy and save the day.

Because each pony represents a facet of friendship, it's easy for them to be used as a lesson for Twilight Sparkle, because the events of the series are seen through her perspective and she can vocalize/confirm each episode's lesson in her regular letters to Princess Celestia. It's like a Doogie Howser, M.D. journal or an Astro Boy lesson that way, only with much more pastels and bouncing.

Another thing I like about the series is that it doesn't talk down to its audience. The lessons are all very simple and straightfoward, sure, but because they are shown and not merely told, they seem to come up very organically. The characters are extremely colourful and are brought to life through the writing as well as the superb voice acting. All of the characters' voices are distinct and really seem to fit. The fact that it's also soooooooooo cute should go without saying.

The producers seem to have acknowledged the popularity of the show among older audiences, and have inserted tiny pop culture references into the series, whether it be a background pony vaguely resembling Dr. Who or using the term "brony" in promotional ads.

So yes, I am a brony, and I am fully prepared to be judged for it. It's just a damn funny, fun show, and this won't be the last time I blog about it.

The Wyrd Sisters

2011-10-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, hasn't it? Summer went by in a relative flash, and fall has been pretty decent so far. There hasn't been too much to report, but I think I should start writing again, even if what I'm updating is inane or unimportant to anyone, including me.

So, what to talk about today? Well, let's start slow and relatively unimportant.

I got a couple of small parts in a play that the Walterdale Playhouse is doing. As you may remember, Walterdale is where I do most of my stage acting nowadays, since it's a great community theatre and it's the oldest of its kind in Canada. Most everyone is a volunteer, and budgets aren't great, but that doesn't prevent them from doing some amazing shows, including Shakespeare, some classic dramas, even musicals! I've been hankering to get involved in a musical again at Walterdale, but it seems that whenever auditions come up, I'm otherwise occupied or ill or gimpy or just plain blah.

This time, however, my gimpyness won't be much of a hindrance. I've got two small roles, one at the beginning of the show and one near the end of the show. In the middle, I suppose I'll be hanging out upstairs and snacking. Or reading. Or whatever. It'll be cool.

You know what's cooler? The play is a stage adaptation of Terry Pratchett's The Wyrd Sisters. If you're familiar with Pratchett's Discworld series of light-hearted fantasy novels, then you'll know the story. If you're familiar with classic tales of tyrant kings and long-lost princes usurping the throne, then you'll be familiar with the story. The directors have assembled a great cast, and they've even let me have some funny bits and a death scene.

Because I've been pretty gimpy lately, it's been no picnic to walk around without a cane, not even for short periods of time. Even with a new bottle of pills, for some reason I just can't get pain or swelling free. If it's not my knees, it's my feet, if it's not the feet, it's the heels, if it's not the heels it's the arch, if it's not the arch, it's the knees again. The ciiiiiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!

Anyhoo, we were blocking my death scene and the fight director was having a dickens of a time trying to find a way to get me to the ground without hurting myself. I couldn't kneel, couldn't bend my knees all the way, and even when I bent my knees as far as I could, I couldn't balance my weight effectively because my feet were hurting too. I'm better than that now, but at the time, it was a problem. After trying a few things, we settled on using the character who stabs me from behind. She would help to lower me to the ground, thereby removing the need for me to fall any distance or rely on my knees.

The result of this is that I get to prolong my death by a few seconds and give a pretty funny death scene. My face goes through a couple of expressions before death, ranging from "what the hell did you just do?" to "oh, you bastard, you did not just stab me" to "if I die because of this, I will KEEEEEEEEL you!" When we showed it to the group in rehearsal, we got a good laugh out of it, so it all worked out.

The only down side to being in only two short scenes is that I don't get to see what kind of awesomeness everyone else is coming up with, or how these other characters are developing. I miss that, but I don't miss having to go to rehearsal every other night. I've got Kow rehearsals, a wedding to attend and perform at, and a sci-fi festival to plan, not to mention things heating up at work! So this is for the best.

The Ninja returneth

2011-09-26T21:38:00.002-07:00

I'm coming back. Stay tuned.

A Rose by Any Other Name...

2011-05-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

So what else happened in April, the Month Without Blog? (Dun dun dunnnn.) Well, in the comments section of my last update, an Anonymous commenter asked about the Rose.

Well, folks, I'm sorry to say that the Rose and I are no longer a couple. We broke up about a month ago, and no, it wasn't acrimonious in any way. We're still friends, we still chat often, and we've hung out since our break-up. So don't worry about talking about it or asking questions, we're good.

Since we met last August, Rose has talked about leaving Edmonton, citing her hate for this city and its lack of support for artists. While I disagree that Edmonton is an anti-arts city, I will not stop her from pursuing whatever dream or desire she has. My inability to leave Edmonton due to my having grown roots here--she refers to it as me "not loving her enough to go with her," which is technically true--was one contributor to our relationship's dissolution. And on my side, I've had a lot of trouble with women taking advantage of my good nature, so it takes a while and some work to break down some of the emotional barriers I have, and Rose and I simply weren't together long enough (due to my crunch time and then her living back in Sherwood Park) for that to happen.

That's it, really. We didn't fight about it--our fighting happened earlier, when I was in crunch time--and neither of us cheated on the other (tough to do in an open relationship where we talked about this sort of thing), she just felt it would be better to do this now than when she moved away, possibly for good, later in the year.

And that's fine with me, honest! I've been preparing for this since we started going out, which probably contributed to those emotional barriers staying up longer. So ladies, if any of you are looking for a short, polyamorous, geeky ninja who can be pedantic, gimpy, nerdy, childish, or all of the above, just call.

Have a great night, internets!

Break

2011-05-03T01:07:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to update for a couple of weeks now, but for one reason or another, I kept putting it off. It's not that I didn't have anything to talk about; indeed, I have a lot to talk about. Something happened over the last two days that made this update possible, something that I really want to talk about. Perhaps I need to talk about it, if only to calm my stomach of these heebies and these jeebies.

My worldview is shaped by all the people around me and the way I need the world to work. Despite the wars, the tragedy, the sorrow, and all the other bad things going on in the world and in people's heads all around me, I like to think that people are good, that the default state for society is positive, that we're not going to hell in a handbasket, and that each successive generation would be better than the one that came before.

I've surrounded myself with good people, people you would be proud to have as friends and family, neighbours, fellow condo board members. I've led a generally charmed life in terms of my work, my family, my health, my home life, everything. No one I know has abandoned a child, no one I know has burned a cross, no one I know has had a terminal disease, no one I know has been maimed, no one I know has had a major drug problem, no one I know has spent any significant time in prison. For the most part, I would trust any and all of my friends to look out for me and to support me if anything bad were to happen.

So it's within this idyllic, naive, idealistic optimist's world that I live, supported by an extremely active fantasy life that helps me to ignore the realities of child poverty, hobos, violent youth, uncaring authority figures and self-serving ideologues in the world. Very few things can pierce this bubble. Money is one, since I require it for everything: living, eating, comfort, the sensual pleasures, intellectual fulfillment, and social interaction. When money is low, reality intrudes until I am secure once again. Another thing that can pierce the rose-coloured bubble is women.

Women are this little ninja's kryptonite. For the right woman, I would do something really stupid, something I wouldn't even consider doing were there not a woman in the picture. What have I considered, either in part or completely because I believed I would gain approval points with a woman? When I was in high school, I used to buy cigarettes (I didn't smoke, not even a little bit) in case one of the lovely young ladies asked for a cigarette. I've given out personal information, I've spent money I didn't really have, but mostly I've invested myself emotionally and trusted people before I was ready to do so.

Several years ago, I dated a young lady, let's call her Renee. At that time, I had chosen to take more risks in meeting women, wanting to find someone who might want to date this plucky little ninja and, oh, I dunno, like him. Romantically. Sexually. Whatever. I met Renee online and we talked for a loooooooooooong time before we met in person. We hit it off, and she seemed to like me. On the outside, she wasn't the best candidate for a partner. She didn't have a fixed address, she'd been in drug rehab, she'd given up a child for adoption at some point, and she didn't have a job. I didn't mind taking her out and spending time together until we stopped regular contact.

She went through several failed relationships over the next couple of years, many of them abusive, went into and out of rehab some more, and had no stability. I had perhaps one relationship in that time. We kept in sporadic contact, during which she still seemed to like me, so I held out hope that if she ever made it back into town on a more permanent basis, maybe we could get back together.

That never really panned out. One night she knocked on the door, asking for money. In spite of my better judgement, and a general rule to never have money owed between dates or partners, I loaned her some money. This is, I think, where the wheels of this relationship or interaction with Renee fell off, ultimately irreparably. The next night, she showed up with a friend who showed signs of a recent beating. Renee wanted to help her friend. Once again, in spite of the now deafening klaxons and warning lights, I once again loaned her some money. Two strikes against me, right?

Well, you're right. Strike three occurred when I was at work. Renee showed up at the house looking for me. Since I wasn't home, my roommate let her use the phone to call me. He also accepted her request for privacy and left her alone in my room with the door closed. Can you guess what happened? That's right, she stole from me. The only contact I had with her after that was an instant message conversation where she insisted her friend had stolen it that second time. Well, I wasn't keeping a close eye on that money. It definitely could have happened. But I cut my ties with her for, at the very least, bringing a thief into my house.

Fast forward.

A couple days ago, I saw that Renee's instant messaging account was online for the first time in months. I said hello, as, stupid me, I'd seen it in my heart to somewhat kinda sorta maybe forgive her. I know, the rose-coloured bubble intervenes. That is likely where Renee got it into her head that the best place to get money for drugs was a certain ninja she knew.

She showed up when I was out to dinner. She went upstairs and was told that I had moved to the downstairs apartment. When I got home, I immediately noticed the front door was unlocked. Weird, but I'd left it unlocked once or twice before. I chided myself to be more careful with locking the front door and went to the bedroom. You know that sense you get when something is out of place? Yeah, big time. My large change jar was missing. A couple of drawers in the bedroom were slightly opened.

A cool breeze came in, which was odd, since my place is generally too warm. Also, I have never opened a window since I moved into that place. Sure enough, the window was wide open. I called Jago down while I checked the rest of the place, and told Jago what happened. After confirming that nothing else was taken but the change jar, I bitched out my landlord for leaving that particular vulnerability exploitable for so long. He was something less than cooperative but was leaving town for three weeks. Stoopid timing.

He reassured me that I was perfectly safe now and that he would deal with it when he returned to town. Strangely, after a couple of weeks of neck pain and waking up several times a night, I slept amazingly well. So it was that I got through today eagerly awaiting my opportunity to vote in the federal election. While at the bus terminal waiting for my bus, I get a text that would both make my day and freak me out more than a little.

Guess who the police caught?

I called Jago back and he transferred me to one of the police officers on scene, who encouraged me to get home as fast as possible. The rest of the story is less arduous than the build-up, but maybe that's just my sense of relief and another attack on my sense of security and goodness. For you see, Renee has tried to break into my place again! Thankfully, Jago and the Dorklord were home at the time. Police were called, and my friends confronted Renee when she emerged from my place, some of my stuff in her hands.

When I arrived, Renee was in the back of the cruiser, coming down off a high, and I was bombarded with emotion. I talked a bit with the officers, identified my property, made a statement, and tried to deal with this blow to my bubble. I like to think that I carried myself well and that I didn't freak out or raise my voice or shame my ancestors. The police took her away and I spoke with my friends, who had saved me from even more severe freakouts later on had Renee succeeded in her quest.

I had rehearsal this evening and had delayed going to vote in order to come home, so Jago offered to take me to the polling station so I could do my patriotic duty before rehearsal. While waiting to leave for rehearsal, I spent about 45 minutes putting everything in my house in order--closing drawers, righting things upsot, ensuring doors are locked, securing the windows again. After the first break-in, I glued that side of the window shut. The second time, she used the other side of the window, which I blocked.

I just kinda sat in the dark and concentrated on breathing so the heebie-jeebies wouldn't get the better of me. I Tweeted about the break-in, texted some folks, and told a friend she could come over and hang out later tonight.

There's no punch line to this update. There's no moral or lesson to be learned. I hung out with my friend and we just talked about all kinds of stuff, but not the break-in. I felt more secure in knowing that a) my friends have my back, for which I am grateful, and b) there are good women out there, and some of them are my friends. So I'm mostly okay right now. I took a hit to the optimism for a bit, my trust in women has probably ensured that my next girlfriend will complain about my being emotionally distant or not romantic enough, and I'm down a few hundred dollars. My bubble was breached. I know it might not mean anything to anyone else, but to me, it means that one of the pillars of my outlook on life has been chipped.

I hope this is as bad as it gets for a while..

Meatstravaganza

2011-03-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

Oh, man, was it worth it!

On Tuesday, my friends and I celebrated my birthday at PAMPA Brazilian Steakhouse. It was one of the best birthday celebrations I've ever had, full of food, friendship, and tons of fun. 16 people, loved ones all, chose to spend upwards of $50 on a continuous cavalcade of carnivorous caloric consumption, and survive to tell the tale ($45 price fixe). This is their story.

You know the two gas stations on 109 street south of Jasper Avenue? There's a Petro-Canada and another, smaller station that always looks the sadder, lonelier, dimmer of the two. Well, right across the street from the sadder, though just as brightly lit, gas station sits PAMPA. It's only been open for a month or so, so they're still working out all the little details of their service, but if my experience is anything to go by, they're going to be extremely popular.

The interior of the restaurant is brightly lit, but instead of the fancy trappings and intimacy of an upscale dining establishment, there is a huge, bare-floored space that appears sparsely tabled. On the near side is a bar with a half-dozen seats. I suppose it's for those waiting for tables or to take a break between meats, because PAMPA is certainly not a bar. No, it is there for one reason and one reason only: meat.

In the centre of the room is a smooth, sleek buffet island populated by salads of all kinds. Homemade breads, lettuce salads, bean salads, pasta salads, pickled vegetables like cauliflower and beets, cous cous, quinoa, even deviled eggs, cold cuts, and various cheeses! My favourite was the tomato and mozzarella... or the little bocconcinis. Yeah, I'm a mild cheese kinda guy. But this salad bar is merely the warm-up, the coming attractions leading up to the feature presentation. Delicious as it all was, it could not and would not compete with the meat.

Our server, Roma, was friendly, very pretty, and well suited to serving a table full of theatre types. Dr. Teeth and Scotty Bomb knew her from Twitter, and told me I just had to request her to be our server. It was a good choice. They also told her to expect us, and it looked like she had a lot of fun serving us too. So if and when you go, ask for Roma. You won't regret it.

Once everyone was settled with their salads and drinks/beverages, the meat parade began. In front of each person was a two-sided token with a red side and a green side. This token is used to indicate to the meat procession that you wish some of their wares, kind of like dim sum. Each black-clad server walked around with a different cut of meat on a skewer, and each diner could select as much or as little as they wanted, and it would be cut from the server's skewer right onto the diner's plate. Sometimes, it was necessary to use the tongs supplied to each diner to grip the meat while it was being cut. Talk about a fun eating experience!

I'll see if I can remember everything that came out that night:

pork loin - this was the favourite of some of the party, but the piece I got was a little dry and overcooked. It was a good starter meat for me, though.
top sirloin - one of my favourites. Great sear and excellent marbling. Maybe a little overzealous on the dry rub, but super tender and tasty!
bottom sirloin - another great cut, but not nearly as tasty as the top, in my opinion
chicken hearts - come on, chicken hearts! How can you not want some?
lamb roast - very nice. I think this one won Meatstravaganza for Dr. Teeth
beef rib - another of my favourites. Giant ribs, almost as long as my arm, stacked on a cart like firewood. The server spent a lot of time removing--nay, harvesting--the meat from the bone before gracing each diner's plate with a pile of rib meat.
barbecued chicken - this one I didn't try, because there was a better chicken dish
bacon-wrapped chicken thigh - so juicy and bacon-y! If this one had come around again, I think I would have had another one, but by the time it came around the second time, we were already super full.
pork sausage - self-explanatory, this was wrapped in a coil before being skewered. Great presentation!

I think that was all of it. There was a LOT of meat going around. They even supplied side dishes during the meal. Cinnamon-crusted banana, deep fried plantain, a salty, crispy polenta, and bread. It's a good thing the sides came out by table rather than by diner, because I doubt I would have been able to finish a whole side dish by myself.

If there was any criticism to be leveled at PAMPA, I would say that it was in the dessert selection. Everything, save maybe for the chocolate mousse (which they didn't have that night), had some sot of alcohol or liqueur in it. I don't mind it for the flavour, but as a teetotaler, it made the desserts slightly less appetizing. But don't get me wrong, the desserts all sounded delicious and creative up until the description of what liqueur it contained. I chose the passion fruit mousse, which was all right, but I think I would have preferred the chocolate mousse. Elimination Chambers selected another fruity dessert without the cassis, which made it look a little monochromatic.

The important thing was that everyone was satisfied, happy, and had a great time, and in that, PAMPA delivered in spades. Great service, great food, great atmosphere, great people... well, except for that one guy from a neighbouring table who, near the end of the evening, decided to show his concern for Dr. Teeth telling one of our female friends jokingly to "shut up." I'm not entirely sure what that was all about, but the guy didn't stay long. It was just weird that he would choose to interfere in someone else's frivolity and assume there was something inappropriate going on.

I can't recommend this restaurant enough. I've told my family and my friends, and it looks like there might be another PAMPA outing this summer. I can't wait!.

36

2011-03-16T22:51:00.000-07:00

On this, the eve of my 36th birthday, I look back at the last decade or so and wonder where it all went. I think of the people I know and love, I think of everything I've experienced. Most of all, I think of everything I didn't do and wonder why. Time? Energy? Not enough brain? Laziness?

I'm pretty sure I can figure out some of the reasons why. I know that sometimes, I require cajoling and prodding to do something outside my comfort zone, and that once I do it, I'll wonder why I never did it sooner. This past year has been sort of an example of what I can do if I just give myself the chance.

For one thing, I finally moved into a place of my own. This has been mostly successful and I am mostly happy with things the way they are now. I miss the upstairs but I am grateful for my own space and being able to do my own thing, by default, without bothering anyone else. This includes walking around without pants, something that's very liberating.

I've started listening to podcasts. Now I know some of what Jago and Dr. Teeth are talking about. I've heard a bunch of them in Jago's car, but now I've discovered ones on my own that I enjoy. They range from celebrities to movies to RPGs to science to sex. I have a wide variety of interests.

Something I never thought I would do again--I took over a non-profit society and am running it with two other people. That's right, Pure Speculation is now under (partly) my control. I am helping to guide the Festival and the board. After my unfortunate stint as President of my old choir, I thought I would never want to be in charge again. It turns out that I'm passionate enough about the Festival to want to take that risk. So far, so good, but it's been easy days yet. The tough part comes in the coming months.

I got myself a girlfriend. Who would have thought that a girl like the Rose would have been interested in a guy like me? Despite some turmoil over the holidays, we're good now, and it seems that she'll be sticking around until November now! Won't that be grand?

I took on a new thing at work, something that would both challenge me and get me out of the rut I'd been in. That and some new initiatives on the horizon mean that I'll likely never be bored at work again. At the very least, I will always have something interesting to do. I'm certainly looking forward to it.

About the only things that aren't new or risky are my health and Apocalypse Kow. Kow is still going on but we're not really doing anything new yet. As for my health, well, I've been gimpy or achy more often than not, and I'm sure I'm over the 200 pound mark. I've been feeling heavier and slower, and my belly looks huge. Now that I have more time in the evenings, I think it's time to get back into the gym for some cardio, some weights, and a whole lot of stretching. The ol' posture's been getting crappier too.

So how doe a 36-year-old ninja celebrate his birthday? For one thing, he doesn't celebrate it on his birthday. It's been so long since I've done any birthday stuff on my birthday. The last few years have just been crazy busy at this time of year. This year, however, I decided to do something big: MEAT COMA! Yeah, that's right, approximately 20 friends and I will be dining at the new Pampa Brazilian Steakhouse. You've probably seen their brand of rodezio dining on television. It's where they bring you meat... on giant skewers! You just pick your meat and they'll cut it onto your plate, and they'll keep doing so as long as you want them to. There'll be a lot of contented meat babies after that one.

And the day after that, dinner with the family. I doubt I'll need to eat in between, though. So no, nothing exciting, but as I grow older, the need for giant frolicsome celebrations of yet another spin around the sun seems to wane. Maybe I'll do something big and bold when I hit 40.

Poor sportsmanship, part 2

2011-03-16T22:33:00.001-07:00

My last blog update was concerning the behaviour of our lacrosse team, the Edmonton Rush, and its captain, Brodie Merrill, after its disappointing game against the Washington Stealth. Instead of shaking hands with the other team, Merrill and a handful of other players chose instead to walk off the field.

Since then, Merrill has offered an apology and explanation for his decision to not shake hands, saying, in part:

There were some early signs that a couple isolated and minor altercations could escalate into something more serious; potentially putting both teams in a compromising position. We thought it was best to step away from the situation and let cooler heads prevail.

As critical as I was about this, I heartily accept Merrill's apology and explanation. I can't say that I have ever been in a situation where I couldn't expect to talk things out or to have my friendship and respect accepted by another. I have absolutely no idea what it would be like to be on the field where tensions are running so high that something as simple as a handshake could erupt into new hostilities. I've witnessed a couple of post-game skirmishes, but I didn't realize that that's how bad it can get.

Even as bad as I felt, there was no question that I would remain a fan. The Rush are my team, and I will continue to support them. Merrill's statement merely makes it that much easier to keep faith in our boys in silver and black. Thank you to Brodie Merrill for demonstrating why he's so respected as a player and an upright guy.

* * *

With the good news, of course, comes some bad. Our go-to instigator, our troublemaker on the field who gives as good as he gets, Gavin Prout (#9), has been traded back to Colorado from whence he came (with a very brief stop in Rochester). In exchange, the Rush get Mike McLellan, an extremely good goal scorer, and a first-round pick in this year's Draft. McClellan was originally drafted by the Rush in 2005 before being traded to Arizona. He appears to have a great record, including 7 points in the playoffs last season, and the Toronto native plays in both Major League (field) Lacrosse and Major Series (box) Lacrosse.

This was a questionable move for Coach Keenan, as Edmonton still faces Colorado 3 times this season and both teams are fighting for the same playoff spot. Giving up a great goal scorer for a relative unknown quantity means a little more time is needed for our offence to gel. But if it works as well as Keenan hopes it will, Edmonton will hit the playoffs again.

Poor sportsmanship

2011-03-06T21:40:00.001-07:00

The Edmonton Rush played a terrible game on Saturday, but it was what happened after the game that ticked me right off! Here's the post I made to the team's official online fan community:

I've seen post-game scraps and arguments that keep the teams from shaking hands afterward, but tonight's "walkout" after the game, led by our esteemed captain, Brodie Merrill, seemed kinda douchey. Yeah, we played a crap game, and yeah, there were fights that got the Rush riled up enough to get their heads back into the game, but once that final buzzer goes, that's it, game's over and nothing you do will change the outcome. So why not suck it up, whether you win or lose, no matter what's happened in the game, and show the crowd what kind of man, what kind of player, and what kind of role-model you are.

Leading members of your team in walking off the field and refusing to shake hands is a pretty rude thing to do, especially in front of the home crowd. Doing so as the team captain, who is supposed to be a role model for both the team and the crowd, is pretty inexcusable.

Yeah, I hate our loss tonight as much as the next guy. I would like to blame each and every man on that field, the coaching staff, and Coach Keenen, and the refs, for every bad thing that happened to the Rush at Rexall tonight. I would cheer mightily if Rabil fell asleep and missed the game tonight, and Duch, Wiles, Ratcliff and Sedgwick were stuck in their hotel room playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 all night.

But that's not what happened, and no one person is to blame. We lost by a wide margin, and we played like crap. Period. Don't act like sore losers and pout off the field without shaking hands. Hell, Atherton was shaking hands! There is no excuse for poor sportsmanship of that magnitude when your league is marketed toward families. There is no excuse for being more inconsiderate towards Washington than you are towards Calgary. There is no good reason to throw a tantrum like that when you're already having a bad season and your main rivals might not even be around next year.

Man up, Rush! i don't care if you're seething inside and cursing all of Washington's mamas under your breath. After the game, win or lose, you suck it up, stand in that damn line, and force those two measly words out of your mouth if it kills you: "Good game." You say it to the players, you say it to the goaltenders, you say it to the opposing team's coaches, whoever's meeting you in that line.

I've been a Rush fan since Day 1, and a season ticket holder since Day 2. The Edmonton Rush is the team that made me a bona fide sports fan. I've been supportive of the team through the first few rocky seasons, cheered its successes, cried at its losses, and literally been there, bought the t-shirt. But I have never been more ashamed of my team than after that final buzzer sounded tonight and a half-dozen Rush players chose to walk away than to show us fans that we're still backing a winning team. Show us that our faith in our team and in you is not misplaced, Brodie Merrill. Please.

Dragon Age II demo!

2011-02-23T00:32:00.000-07:00

If you are reading this message, you are very obviously not playing the Dragon Age II demo, which is out now! Download it, play it, love it! Whet your appetite for the next adventure in the Dragon Age franchise! A story of love, loss, adventure, strange new friends and sinister new enemies, and of course, tons and tons of phat lewt! Play the demo of the game that kept me chained to my desk for days at a time

Go get it NOW!

Deadlands: Last letter

2011-02-22T03:42:00.002-07:00

'Tis a most curious thing, Professor Lloyd. I am writing you to report the most unusual of events, and to bid my farewell should the worst come to pass. Remember that mask we'd discussed, the one that appeared mysteriously amongst the Kethrellin Collection? If you'll recall, no mask was detailed on the manifest, nor did Kethrellin's estate admit any knowledge of it.

I am happy to report that I have found its source. Examine closely your copy of the painting, for I am sure it is there; Martin was scrupulous in drawing everything he saw. In the group of foreground figures on the right hand side of the painting is a reveler in a checkered yellow and silver outfit. It is that figure whose mask I now hold in my hand. Every two or three days, the mask somehow leaves its place in the painting and appears, life-sized, on the floor near the painting, as if asking to be worn. I regret to say that, despite your warnings, I have indeed put on the mask.

Imagine my surprise, Professor, when upon putting on the mask I was whisked away to a mysterious land. Well, not so curious, I suppose, for no sooner had I touched the mask to my face that I found myself within the painting! The scenery was the same: pink buildings under a multi-coloured sky, with bright, five-pointed yellow stars hanging in the sky, almost close enough to reach by standing on a stool.

And the revelry, dear Professor! Never have I borne witness to such capricious joy and carefree celebration. There was conversation all around me, but none clear enough for me to understand a word, assuming it was English they spoke at all. And soft, celebratory music, though if pressed I could not admit to remembering a single note played. And everywhere I looked, all were dancing and milling about. None addressed me or, indeed, paid me the least attention, as if I were not present at all. But there I was, wearing the same clothes I'd put on that morning.

Here is where the mystery continues, Professor, for though I was surprised at being thus transported, I remembered the lessons you taught me and wanted to explore this fantastical new place. I attempted to initiate contact with my fellow revelers at this Carnival of Ys, both linguistic and physical. Nothing worked, rather, I should say that nothing happened. Try as I might, whenever I intended to physically affect the painting's world in any way, there was no effect. If I wanted to touch someone or something, my arm would simply not move to do so. If I wished to speak to one of the revelers, I would open my mouth but no sound would emerge.

I could walk, after a fashion. After further investigation, I realized that I could walk from left to right, the directions conforming to the breadth of the painting if one was holding it and looking straight at it. I was limited, however, by the painting's dimensions, for I was locked within them. I had height and I could walk the width of the painting, but I had no depth to interact with. Certainly, I could look to the left and to the right. To look towards the interior of the painting, I could see many gaily decorated terraces, upon which more revelers danced and celebrated, stretching as far as the eye could see. Looking towards the viewer of the painting, as it were, I could see similar terraces, but these were empty. Similarly, these must have numbered into the hundreds stretching out to the opposite horizon.

When I removed the mask, I was instantly returned to the Society library from whence I began this admittedly foolhardy experiment. I was gone no more than a few minutes, the same few minutes I'd spent within the painting, so there was no temporal dilation. Nor did anything change the next several times I attempted this experiment. Yes, Professor, I returned on several consecutive nights. I have no excuse but that my curiosity was inflamed so by this mask and, now, this painting. When the mask is not physically here, it is being worn by the figure within the painting I mentioned earlier. When the mask is here, the figure's face is exposed.where it was once concealed.

There have been some new developments in the last week, Professor, which is why I haven't written you until now. I've told no one about this, for fear they would call me mad, and no one has espied my nightly sojourns to the Society library. I cannot recall how many times I've put on the mask, nor have I measured a pattern in when the mask appears on the floor of the library. Last week, the mask owner's checkered shirt appeared along with the mask, neatly folded beneath it. The fabric is like none I've seen or felt, Professor. Softer than the softest silk, yet resistant to tearing and cutting. It seems to resist all attempts to change its appearance or state in any way. Immersed completely in water, it comes out completely dry. Spill ink on it and the ink runs off it. No scuffs or stains mar its surface.

What could I have done, Professor, but to include this checkered shirt in my experiments. Nothing happens when I wear the shirt alone. I am only transported to the Carnival of Ys when I don the mask. When mask and shirt are worn together, however, the effect is remarkable! Now, within the painting, I can touch objects and people, though I still am unable to affect them in many ways. I am ashamed to admit that I took many liberties with my fellow revelers, but it was necessary to gauge the extent to which I could affect the rest of the painting. All the fabric was identical to the touch as the shirt I wore, skin felt like skin, the terrace felt like stone, and the decorations felt as one would expect. Still, none acknowledged my existence.

Three days ago, the figure's checkered trousers appeared underneath the pile of mask and shirt, again neatly folded. When these appeared, the figure within the painting was nude but for his shoes. His skin was unmarked by any feature, not even nipples or navel, and no muscle definition. He was like a line drawing filled in with colour, the only features being in his face. The trousers exhibited the same behaviour as the shirt, and, like the shirt, I would only be taken into the painting once I wore the mask.

This time, I could hear clearly the conversations happening all around me. It is not English being spoken by the revelers at the Carnival of Ys, Professor, but some floral, lilting language, possibly one of the lesser known Oriental dialects, assuming it is a human language at all. And they spoke directly to me, acknowledging my existence for the first time. I could not understand them, but they seemed to enjoy my company despite the language barrier. I believe I may have been inappropriately propositioned by some of the young costumed women of the painting, and one or two of the young men, but without the language, I cannot say for certain.

How the artist could have captured this event within a painting and give it life is a mystery I hope to soon solve, Professor. This evening, when I opened the storage room, the figure's shoes were included in the pile of clothing on the floor. Sure enough, the figure was now completely denuded.

It is now that I feel it important to say my farewells, Professor Lloyd. Having the figure's complete outfit might take this experiment to undreamt of places. I may finally understand what my fellow revelers are saying. Imagine what I could learn with such ability, Professor! Who are these people, and how and why are they there? Are they aware that they are the subject of a mere painting? Do they have names and identities? Will I be able to finally move in the third dimension and interact with those of other terraces? And why are the other terraces empty? Professor, I believe these answers and more will be revealed to me once I can complete the costume and become one of them.

I do this of my own free will, Professor, with a mind afire with questions. I have summoned Martin and he should be here within the hour. I am wearing the costume, all but the mask, as I write this letter. Should I be unable to return or communicate further, I have given Martin instructions to report to you in my absence. Thank you for everything, Professor Lloyd. This is too great an opportunity to pass up.

Yours,
Eckart Fleischer

Meat!

2011-02-21T02:20:00.000-07:00

After the Edmonton Rush game this afternoon, Gibble, Elimination Chambers and Gibble's girlfriend (gotta come up with a nickname for her) had dinner at the Coliseum Steaks & Pizza, a short distance away from Rexall Place (formerly Northlands Coliseum. See what they did there?). We were all set for a dinner of meats, and Coliseum did not disappoint.

The restaurant is an Edmonton institution, and rightly so. A homey, family atmosphere really sets the mood for meat. Service is fast and personal, and prices are very reasonable. They had a steak special this evening, a New York strip with mushrooms. Elimination got one of those, except that the dude got it cooked well done. Now, I'm a fan of meat, and I know a well prepared well done steak can be edible, but why would you abuse meat like that? The Ninjabro used to get his steaks well done, but eventually, he tried it a little less well and more medium and found he enjoyed it more. Easier to chew and juicer, with more cow flavour coming through. I still think he's a heathen for ordering his steaks leaning towards medium well, but he usually gets medium so I can't fault him too much. I can, however, keep making fun of Elimination for his choice of steak doneness. I'm a rare man myself (would be blue rare but not many places can make it that awesome).

Gibble got his usual, a rack of ribs, and his girlfriend (can't call her Gibblette, she'd murderize me!) got a filet. See, Elimination, at least she's got discerning tastes! After hemming and hawing over the menu for a while, I finally decided on the BBQ beef ribs. If they were anything like the beef ribs at Tony Roma's or Montana's, the thought went, I would have a lot of meat on my plate plus soup or salad plus choice of potato plus garlic bread. I instantly regretted having that hot dog and giant iced tea during the game.

I needn't have worried, though. Because that hot dog was my first meal of the day, it was, in effect, the rehearsal for the bountiful beef rib feast I was about to enjoy. After the soup was finished, out came the entree. On my plate sat not one, not two, but four beef ribs. Elimination mentioned several times that it resembled the ribs that tip over the Flintstones' car in the cartoon's end credits. The similarity is not exaggerated much. There was definitely a lot of meat.

And somehow, I managed to finish it all. I didn't manage to finish the fries or the garlic bread, but the beef ribs were tasty, the BBQ sauce was tart and super-fantabulo, and being on nearly an empty stomach meant I could finish them all... barely. I was surprised that I would only have to pay about $20 for that meal. On a normal day, I could probably get two meals out of that. My friends' meals were no less impressive: Gibble's rack of ribs ran the length of his elliptical plate, Elimination's New York was big, and Gibble's girlfriend's filet looked massive.

If you ever have the opportunity to go, and you like meat, I can't recommend Coliseum Steak & Pizza enough. Every time I've been there, I've left feeling immensely satisfied and full to bursting with meat and more meat. That's a good feeling.

Rush 11, Roughnecks 12

2011-02-21T02:02:00.000-07:00

Another thrilling lacrosse weekend for the Edmonton Rush! Sunday matinee games can be a mite unpredictable. The crowd , while supportive, is generally unused to a Sunday afternoon game. The beer drinking, general hooting and hollering, and the sometimes violent emotions thrust onto the field seem odd for a weekend afternoon. But thousands of Edmonton Rush fans, not to mention a few dozen Calgary Roughnecks fans, headed into Rexall Place for yet another Battle of Alberta.

These things can get pretty violent very quickly, as can most battles of Alberta. The whole us vs. them angle, north vs. south, older former champions vs. young upstart, really gets people's bloodlust going. Today was no different. I was a few minutes late getting to the arena, and by the time I was seated, I'd missed a Rush goal and Roughnecks goal. But I wasn't to be disappointed. The violence began right off the bat and continued throughout the first half. While the second half was a little more controlled, what violence there was was notable in its severity.

Lest you think the game was one big bloodbath, I'll not here that as sports go, it was about as physical a game as I've ever seen in all the time I've been season ticket holder. While a previous game had anger and frustration simmering below the surface, both teams decided to lash out today.

Ultimately, we lost this very suspenseful match by one goal, but it wasn't just any goal we lost by. No, we lost by a goal that was not counted as one, and one which the Edmonton Rush bench was not permitted to challenge. Apparently, teams have a certain time limit after a call has been made in which to challenge said call. The Rush, according to the officials, did not make their challenge in time. It was hotly deliberated, though, by both Rush players and the Rush bench, and all the while the crowd is seeing what is obviously a goal on the replay and booing vociferously.

I hope those officials got out okay, because the Edmonton crowd was unhappy with several of their calls. Not that the officiating was favouring one team or another, but it seemed a little capricious as to what infraction would actually be called for which team. While Calgary got several "illegal substitution" calls (ie. too many men on the field), they got a penalty shot when Edmonton was called for the same infraction in the 4th quarter.

None of it slowed down the game. In fact, it might have fueled the animosity between the two teams. There were many instances of jostling and poking, and many an unkind word was exchanged between individuals. One Calgary player spent a couple of minutes beaking off to a Rush player, but did he get some kind of "unsportsmanlike conduct" penalty? Nope, though each team got one for what I (and much of the crowd) thought could have been for something a little more serious.

I've never seen so many bench minors and double minors called in a single game, but I find it remarkable that the officials could call so many penalties and not seem to favour one team over another. I think that if they were to call the game more consistently, both teams would have ended up with a few more penalties, so thank goodness for small favours? The biggest penalty came at the end of the game, when the Rush's powerhouse goal-scorer, Scott Evans (91), took on Calgary's Mike Carnegie in a knock-down drag-out slugfest. While Evans was clearly the victor, he also got the PIM to show for it: a roughing double-minor, an instigator minor, and a fighting major. That's an 11-minute penalty that thankfully came with only 22 seconds left in the game. Carnegie got away with just the 5-minute major for fighting.

Both Edmonton's Matt Disher and Calgary's Mike Poulin were amazing in their respective goals, andboth teams showed off their best today. The best news is that Edmonton's new offensive line is finally clicking. The difference between the Rush offense today and their first couple of games this season are like night and day. They're completing more complex passes, they're communicating far better on the field, and they're taking a few more risks in powering through their opponent's defensive line to get into scoring position.

This is not to say that they need to get into scoring position all the time. Despite being outshot 55-42, Edmonton only lost by a single goal. Scott Evans had a miraculous 5 goals and 1 helper on the night, while Corey Small (15) supported the team with 7 assists! Calgary's powerhouses responded in kind, with Jeff Shattler scoring 3 and assisting with 5, and Scott Ranger with 2 goals and 4 assists.

Our next home game is Saturday, March 5 against the Washington Stealth again. We play the Knighthawks in Rochester this Saturday. Go Rush!

A better Friday

2011-02-12T00:54:00.000-07:00

Man, if I thought Thursday was pretty good, Friday turned out to be super-fantabulo! Here's why:

1. Dragon Age II has officially gone gold on all platforms! That means a final version has been accepted and is now being sent to manufacturing. Y'all should have it in your hot little hands soon. This time around, it was developed simultaneously on all platforms (and ain't that a pain?) so no one version is better or worse than any other!

2. My elbow's better enough that I can put my hair up again!

3. President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt resigned!

4. The Edmonton Rush lacrosse team has won its first game of the season, a thrilling 14-12 victory over the Washington Stealth, the team that beat us in the semi-final 8 seconds into overtime and went on to win th Champions Cup last year.

5. Relating to point #1, I'm looking at some upcoming downloadable content at work. Looks pretty good, full of mystery and fighting.

Will tomorrow be even better? I can't really see how it could be, but I'm prepared to be proven wrong. Let's go, Saturday!

A good Thursday

2011-02-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

Today's been a pretty good day, despite some difficulty at work. Why is it so good, you ask, when I haven't updated since my month-long binge in January? Well, a few reasons:

1. The palsy is for sure getting better. Over the last couple of weeks, I've had less trouble talking and I've been able to eat and drink more easily. Full mobility still isn't there, but today I ate me an Italian sub for lunch. And I can swish liquid around in my mouth! And I can purse my lips! Now, if I could just get my eye to stop watering so much, I'll be all better. But there's still time.

2. I'm no longer in death crunch! Since Monday, I've been going home at a reasonable hour, sometimes when there's still light outside. I take something other than the last bus home at night, and in the morning I'm not completely exhausted with a zombie brain!

3. Because I'm no longer in death crunch, I'm able to go out to the Next Act for Thursday Night Melvin once again!It'll still take a while before people believe that I'm Melvining again, but at least Scottybomb and Nezbitt will be there to share pulled pork nachos with me!

4. I'm starting work on training documents at work. Something I've always disliked about the way we do things is that we bring in all sorts of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed hopefuls and systematically grind them into dust over the course of 27 months. It's like an infomercial, where you see a very disadvantageous way of doing things, someone gets frustrated and says, to the camera, "There's got to be a better way!" Well, there is, and I'm hoping to be one of the architects who brings this better way to the franchise. I'll be working with the dude who's already created a lot of the foundation I'll be using, and together we'll be a newbie-training powerhouse. But there's a lot of paperwork to pore over, develop, condense, tear apart, and shape into a coherent program that can be used on either project, or universally. The lesson here is: don't complain so loudly or so often unless you want to be put in charge of the solution.

5. I went outside this evening without a coat. It's the middle of February. Joy.

6. The Rose and I have been having difficulties over the last couple of months, because of my death crunch and her packing and moving back to her mom's. I'm happy to say that we're back on solid ground after a rather heated discussion. Yes, I cried like a girl, if you must know, but she got the Mercedes and custody of Mr. Puddles.

7. A quiet night, listening to Chemical Brothers. Great music to relax to..

January in review

2011-01-31T23:54:00.000-07:00

This will be my last update before my self-imposed deadline. Once this post is submitted, I will have updated this blog 29 times during the month of January. That's missing the 1 post/day mark by only two posts, and during crunch time, I think that's pretty impressive.

It's been a troublesome month, with crunch time on this project causing all kinds of trouble I would rather not have to deal with. Being tired all the time, eating crunch food a lot, gout flare-ups, the palsy, relationship issues, having to miss rehearsals, trying to find a venue for Pure Spec, and trying to maintain some semblance of a social life. As I told a co-worker on the long, cold walk to the bus stop, so far it's been a challenging and stressful year, but unlike the past couple of years, I've been able to stay somewhat positive and see this as a temporary obstacle to eventual relaxation and happiness.

I won't be updating as often in February, but I will still update way more often than I have been in past months. I will also be able to drink iced tea and lemonade again, which will be welcome. So here's to an eventful January, and to a warmer, healthier, happier rest of 2011..

Brunch: The Pint

2011-01-30T23:18:00.000-07:00

The Jago and I like to try new places for brunch on occasion. We used to go all the time, but since I moved downstairs and started cooking more often, we've cut down on the going out considerably. But today, I decided that it was a good day for brunch--it was sunny, I had the day off, and the Jago's car started.

We decided on the Pint, a downtown bar whose posters I had seen on my way back from the Edmonton Rush game. It looked pretty good. They were advertising a $10 brunch menu and a wing special. Okay, the wing special didn't look too special at all, since they were advertising 49-cent wings. Even when The Next Act had their wing special, it was 40 cents a wing, and that was considered expensive.

once we got there, however, I saw the reason for the hella expensive special wings. It turns out the Pint is a wing specialist. They have over 40 different sauces and rubs for their wings, ranging from mild to hot, from sweet to sour, and many combinations thereof. It looked very appetizing indeed, but we weren't there for wings. We were there to brunch!

The brunch menu was nothing to write home about, typical brunch fare with no pizzazz. Steak and eggs, a California benedict, a corned beef hash and eggs, a pancake of the day type thing--not terrible, just typical. As much as I wanted the eggs benedict, I decided on the corned beef hash and eggs. Jago, of course, got the bennies. (What can I tell you? The man loves his hollandaise.) Their regular menu showed a lot of pizzazz, with starters like mini stuffed Yorshire puddings and deep fried, breaded pickles!

As expected, the food was pretty fair to middling. It was certainly no Culina, or The Manor Cafe, or even The Next Act, which has a better, more creative and pizzazzy brunch for just a couple dollars more. The hash was too salty, the over-easy eggs were over too hard, and the corned beef was few and far between. Worth $10? Maybe, but an eatery shouldn't really advertise cheap food deals if the food is going to be worth every penny of that discounted price and no more. the fried pickles, on the other hand, were pretty amazing.

So we have to pay, and the Pint doesn't even have Interac. Instead, they want you to use the ATMs which, of course, cost the customer an extra few dollars per transaction and nets the bar a small percentage or monthly fee or however it works. Now, I don't have a problem with a bar wanting to make a few extra bucks with an ATM on-site. There are times when I want some cash and it's super convenient get it at the place I'm currently standing in, whether that's a bar or the supermarket or a street corner. No, what I have a problem with is making it extremely obvious to the customer that you aren't interested in his convenience by removing an extremely common form of payment. And not advertising it or telling the customer up front.

I've been to places that are cash only, or don't take credit cards, or don't take $50 or $100 bills. These places tell you up front what they don't take so the customer can make a decision before incurring any kind of charge. No, The Pint is not, in fact obligated to take all forms of payment, but as a courtesy, it would have been nice to have been given the choice. Especially since their ATMs were out of service at the time. How would I have paid today had I not carried a credit card? As it was, The Jago had cash and paid for me. I got him back when buying snacks for the Royal Rumble viewing.

On the plus side, they were showing the AHL All-Star skills competition on their televisions and the servers were very attractive. But guess where I'm unlikely to go again?.

The Fortress

2011-01-30T22:58:00.000-07:00

Since I'm starting the year kind of fresh, I can't imagine that my readers will have read through the archives or remembered things that happened here even a year ago, so some of my updates might sound a little familiar. I will try not use that as a source of material too often without adding to it in some way.

Do you remember Dracula's Secret Underwater Fortress, my proposed puppet serial? The project hasn't advanced in months, due to some rather severe scheduling issues (I'm finishing a game, my collaborator is in post-production for a short independent film), but I was reminded of it since that collaborator, Mr. Anonymous, was hanging out with me at a viewing of this year's Royal Rumble this evening, hosted by famed online pro wrestling role-player and all-around good Moose Javian, The Jago. Mr. Anonymous and I touched on the subject at the end of the night, and we both still seem very interested in returning to it once we have time again. He's found a potential production designer who loves the Dracula mythos and is interested in our take on it, and I found out something interesting about the project's origins.

I think it was a concept that was put forth by Scottybomb, and it stayed in my head for years before I approached Mr. Anonymous about making this longtime concept a reality. But its origins go back even further, probably weeks earlier.

During a game night where folks were playing the Fury of Dracula board game, or so D! relates, the concept of Dracula having a secret underwater fortress was born. Scottybomb related this to me, and years later, I ran with it.

The project--oh no, I just thought of something. Literally, I was in mid-type when it popped into my head. What if all the Dracula plot outlines are still on the hard drive that died during the Ninjanomicon Datapocalypse, where I lost all my writing, and much of my Apocalypse Kow and Pure Speculation data?

...

I did a search for the files and it looks like that's what happened, since I can't find it on my current hard drive. Now it is even more important that I get the data off that drive, otherwise Mr. Anonymous and I will have to start from scratch. Damn it! This had better not be a sign of things to come in 2011. The year has started off so well, I don't want it to slowly degenerate into a chaotic mess already.

What was I going to do?

2011-01-30T02:54:00.000-07:00

All right, this happens to me a lot lately. I have this brilliant idea, but because of all the sensory overload at work and the mind-numbing vegetative state I like to be in at home, I forget it. And I certainly couldn't be bothered to write it down, can I? No, I can not.

Last night, I had a great idea for padding out the rest of my updates so I could average one post per day in January. It was great, so great that I mentioned it in the post I was writing. Now, however, that idea is lost to the ether. Maybe Ophiucus, that proposed 13th astrological sign, ate it and it's going to jump out at me when I get my palm read or eat a fortune cookie. "Good things come to those--STAN'S GREAT IDEA!" Gah!

But forgetting the idea does allow me to post an update mentioning that I had a great idea but forgot it. I suppose that's a plus? Next time, I'm going to write the darn thing down or make a draft post to submit later. Grumble grumble razza frazza retta fretta grumble grumble.

Day 13

2011-01-30T02:47:00.000-07:00

The number thirteen has long been considered by many to be unlucky. I've never been that superstitious, but the number thirteen holds a certain significance right now. It's the number of days in a row that I've worked. I haven't beat one of my co-workers, though, who was on day 20 today. Despite the number of days I've had to work, the number of hours isn't that bad. Sure, some of the contract guys are paid by the hour and they're going to see a metric boatload of overtime money on their cheque, but I'm the one with the steady paycheque, benefits, and the job security, so it balances out.

Hopefully, my day off tomorrow means that we're nearly there and that I don't have to resign myself to eating crunch food for very much longer. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful to my employer for feeding me for free when I have to work long days or on weekends, but it all ends up tasting much the same after a while. I've been eating crunch food at least two nights a week for a couple months now, not including my Christmas break, and that time I spent watching the Food Network has made me rather intolerant of mediocre food. But it could be worse.

Currently, I believe we do this corporate catering thing. These catering companies make huge batches of food to feed dozens of folks, and they try to have a variety of different dishes throughout the week. One day will be pork, another day will be fish, and pasta will be scattered around there somewhere While the food is usually plentiful and I'm not liable to go hungry any evening, it's also not prepared with any kind of personality. Heck, what I cook for myself at home has more personality than crunch food, but it is free and it's the company's way of telling me that they don't want me to starve to death while I'm working so much.

There's another reason I generally don't complain about crunch food: I know what it was like back in the day. And even then, there are folks who have been there longer who have even worse stories about crunch food. You see, back in the day, we didn't have these fancy things like 12-hour days. We just worked until we were done, which could have been 9pm, could have been midnight, or even later. When we worked late, the company still bought us dinner, but we didn't have corporate catering. No, instead, we placed an order with a nearby restaurant. One day it might be Quizno's, another day it might be Tokyo Express, another day it might be pizza, and still another day it might also be pizza.

The order used to be personalized. That is, a producer would go around and ask people what they wanted. This became very unwieldy and tedious, so we ended up just ordering a variety of things. Woe betide the poor soul who forgot it was dinner time and came to the kitchen to find only a vegetarian sub, or rice and salad dressing. These days, the food order is automated on the workers' end, but it's not a perfect system. There's no way to pre-portion that many orders, so some folks end up taking too much, or people who didn't order will grab some, or for some other reason there won't be enough. Well, in those cases, we'll still order pizza, but since it's always Panago, I would rather just grab a bun and some salad. I don't really like Panago, and I can't understand how some people can enjoy it so much. I like Pizza 73 more than I like Panago, and Pizza 73's pretty no-frills!

But I had it comparatively good when it came to crunch food. Some people have told me that on a previous project, they had to endure KFC every night for a month. I don't know why they had to do this, but it has turned some of the old-timers off of KFC permanently.

It's not always bad, though. This year, the company we use does a really nice pork loin most of the time, and I've only found the chicken to be unappetizingly pinkish once or twice. Compared to finding it very pink most of the time back in the day, this caterer does pretty well. Heck, on rare occasions, we'll even have breakfast for dinner!

Lest you think my company is a big slave driver, I should remind you that I get a generous amount of vacation time per year, and I am overtly encouraged to take my time every year even if I am tacitly encouraged to work late when needed. And our company holiday celebration is always top-notch! After 10 years with the company and watching people win Xboxes and helicopter tours of the city, I finally got mine this year! Yes, I won a Starbucks gift card! It's no iPad, but I'm still going to enjoy the heck out of it.

Man, this post went off-topic. I suppose that's what happens to your brain when you work 13 days in a row. One night i was there until midnight, and another night I was there until 3:30 in the morning, but I got to go in late (later even than I usually am) the next day. It was just like old times, except with far less inappropriate language and shouting. After all, we're part of a larger company now and juvenile antics don't become of us. :)

Ah well, after tomorrow, it's back to the grind, and who knows how much longer I'll be working long days? Hopefully not too many more, since I would like to keep my girlfriend for as long as she's still in town.

Finishing a resolution or two

2011-01-29T02:40:00.000-07:00

I'm normally not very good at New Year's resolutions, which is why I didn't make them. This year, however, I set a couple of goals for myself, which I outlined in this post: give up iced tea and lemonade for one month, and better discipline.

The iced tea thing is going a little too well, which is why I'm going to make it even more restrictive next year. The other one, discipline, will be ongoing, which is not to say I'm failing in the resolution. I may be falling behind, but I'm not failing. in 2010, I made 25 posts to this blog, a record low since I began writing here in April 2005. Despite missing the first three months of the year, 2005 was my most prolific blogging year, with 92 posts, an average of a post every four days or so.

A couple of things contributed to my lack of updates. One was other social media. I was on Twitter and Facebook a lot and certainly updating statuses there, so didn't feel like making the effort to say largely the same things here. As December began its flip to January and 2010 made way for 2011, I realized that I talk about different things in different venues. Twitter and Facebook are really for day-to-day minutiae and spur-of-the-moment thoughts and opinions. Small bursts of ideas work well within 140 characters or a short paragraph, but when I want to go on at length about something like Arizona or the Rush, or want to talk your ear off about my gout or my own self-pity, or freak out about something trivial like television, I need to do so here. Not only is this blog therapeutic for me, it helps me practice my writing and, surprise surprise, it does its original job of keeping people updated on what and how I'm doing. It's a place that's mine and mine alone. People don't have to deal with other friends' updates or browser game notices or other folks' links.

Another contributor to the dearth of regular updates was that damn rut that I'm working my out of. It was always just easier to not do something, to stay inside this comfort zone inside my head that was okay with hermiting and not letting anyone else in. This is something that I'd hoped living on my own would have taken care of on its own, but I suppose I moved far too late in the year for that. Here's hoping I don't have episodes of hermiting too often. I like hanging out with people too much.

I know I said "a couple of things contributed to my lack of updates," but there really was a third thing: lack of discipline. It's the same thing that's kept me out of the gym so long. Well, that and the odd gout flare-up or carpal tunnel or, you know, crunch time. But look at me now! It's January 29, and this will be my 24th update of the month. January is nearly over and already I have almost as many updates as I did in all of 2010. And I don't think I've been tedious or repetitive too much. Go me!

All right, I just remember a fourth thing, which is the format for the updates. In 2010, because I always waited so long before updating, I always had way too much to say. I ended up putting way too many things into a single update, so that nothing was focused. I'm pretty sure all of 2010's updates were "sorry, too long, didn't read." This year, I'm putting everything in its own post. Yes, this may mean that, if I have a couple of things to say in a given day, I'll make two updates rather than try and cram them both into a giant textual kraken. As it is, I don't know if I'll have enough material or time to get to 31 updates in January, but I'm going to try. That's seven posts in the next two days, and I've got enough material for perhaps four updates, but maybe not enough time for all of them since I'm working all weekend. We'll see.

I'm hoping the more frequent updates will attract new readers and encourage more comments to my posts, too. Yes, this blog is a self-indulgent me-fest, but my readers--both of them (hi, mom!)--should feel free to comment, even if it is to say I'm an ass. I got the most comments of all when I brought some internet drama here, but most weren't regular readers, just people with a bone to pick. I just don't know if I'm interesting enough on my own, without the BioWare or the Pure Speculation or the Apocalypse Kow, to gain a following. Do I need to start posting pictures of me with a pancake on my head?

Yes, four things kept my updates few and gi-normous. This year will be different. I can already feel it, and I hope that feeling doesn't go away because it's spurring me on to new heights of productivity and thought. Excelsior!

Gah, I just had a brilliant idea that might get me to my self-imposed quota this month!

Rush 11, Roughnecks 15

2011-01-29T02:07:00.000-07:00

One of the highlights of this week was the Edmonton Rush home opener. Our professional lacrosse team has been playing away games up till now, and it's been a pretty great adventure so far. Being able to watch away games on television is really going to help me go from fan to all-out fanatic (yes, I know the word "fan" is an abbrevition of "fanatic" to begin with. hush). Our boys haven't won any games yet this season, but it's only a matter of time.

Watching the game in person made quite a difference in what I thought of the team. When I see them in person, I'm surrounded by thousands of other people who are cheering on the same team I am. With the new seating, Rexall has closed off half the upper bowl to make the audience (and the cheering) denser. Now, instead of being able to climb the stairs as soon as I walk into the door, I have to walk halfway around the facility. But my seats are still awesome, just on the other side.

The new guys on the team seem to be fitting in well, but we no longer have the same level of communication we did last year. Our timing seems to be just little bit off, and until we can synch up again, our offence is going to be fair-to-middling like it was in our first few years in the league. Defensively, I think we're playing all right. We're certainly supporting our goaltender and not letting our opponents run up the middle or in through the side as much, but we need to continue to improve and take advantage of those turnovers.

The lack of cohesion is being felt in our passing play. Last year, when our team really glowed with brilliance, we were up, down, and all around with the ball. This year, it's evident that we're still not quite sure where the new guy will be when we release the ball or whether he'll read our intention correctly and double-back to receive the pass, or know when I'll want him to pick off a defender and when I want to pass to him so I can pick that defender. Tiny pauses like that can add up over the course of a fast-paced game like lacrosse. I'm confident that we just need more practice to iron out the lingering miscommunications, because I think we're doing all right otherwise.

Tonight's game was rough, though. The action didn't really pick up until the second half, and by then, both the Rush and the Roughnecks were feeling some aggression and needed to work it off... somehow. I think it started when our 6'10" goon, David Morgan (#30), decided to boost the team's excitement by getting into a shoving match with a Calgary player. Now, I say shoving match, but really, the Calgary guy was a head-and-a-half shorter than Morgan and unwilling to take the bait. It excited the fans a bit, but really, how much anger can you build up when a giant is shoving, then itching to fight with, an unenthusiastic small fry?

After that, the stage was set. Even normally laid-back assistant captain Jimmy Quinlan (#81), who was playing both defence and offence tonight, got into the spirit of things. He just seemed grouchy all night and unwilling to take any crap from Calgary. He spent time in the box, too. The one guy I expected to see stirring things up, expert provocateur Gavin Prout (#9), was comparatively quiet, even if he did mouth off a few times to the opposing players. As much as I dislike all the fighting that happens in hockey, that's exactly what tonight's game needed. There was too much unvented frustration from both the fans and the Rush tonight, and there was no spark from the announcers, from the plays, or from either team, to ignite that spark.

Even penalties, the one thing that's sure to rile up fans, didn't do the trick. For some reason, they didn't show replays of the infractions on the big screen so fans could get up that head of steam. And that was important because most of the penalties happened somewhere other than where the ball was, so those penalties, when they were called, were surprises to the fans. Okay, there's a penalty I missed somewhere. Oh, it was roughing, okay, whatever, back to the game. You can't get angry over calls like that. What you can get angry over is the missed penalties. Oh yes, both teams were frustrated, and tried to get away with things. Largely, they were unsuccessful, but a little extra-hard nudge against the boards gets called, but getting tangled up with a dude and pulling on his helmet or chinstrap when getting up doesn't? Are you trying to unimpress the crowd?

It's not that the officiating was bad. Aside from that helmet/chinstrap pulling thing, happening right in front of one of the refs, there were no egregious calls. At least, none that were super obvious to me, and neither team was being favoured over the other. It did seem, however, that the Calgary Roughnecks, ordinarily a very physical team, was doing their darnedest to play nicely but sometimes failing. The Rush just got frustrated and were being a little douchey, I must admit. I mean, it's not every day that you see the game end, only to see a fight almost break out during the team handshake. I missed what happened, but when I looked up, the refs were in the middle of two teams on the verge of a bench-clearing melee, even though both teams were entirely on the field. Crazy.

Normally, I buy two seats so I can take friends to games and maybe drum up some extra business for the team. I've even upgraded my seats so I could stay in a prime location. But after 5 years of taking friends to games and never once hearing about them buying their own ticket to a subsequent game, I was considering only buying the one seat. I would have kept it had the Rose come tonight, but she won't be around to sit through the season with me and I'm just not going to pay for a seat that's not going to be used for its intended purpose: getting more people excited about lacrosse. So I was surprised when my buddy Gibble, who is also into lacrosse--he was the guy I went to Calgary with, last year, for the Edmonton/Calgary playoff game--offered to buy my other season ticket. It all works out, hooray! Okay, he still has to talk things over with his girlfriend, but it should still be okay. So boo, I don't get to take friends to lacrosse anymore, but yay, I'm not spending over $300 a year on taking barely-interested friends to lacrosse anymore!

I really hope the Rush offence can get their shit together, and soon. I want enough folks to attend home games that they reopen my old section and I can get my old seat back. Or maybe, since I'm only buying one ticket now, upgrade my seat even further. Lower bowl, ooh....

Late nights and growly fights

2011-01-27T00:45:00.001-07:00

The last few days have been pretty deadly to this old ninja. That's why the lack of updates, and why the Rose and I have been a little tense with each other. We're both very stressed out, and without each other to talk to in person and snuggle the stress away, we've been snippy and pokey and growly to each other. Hopefully, my heavy deadlines will calm down soon and I can go back a regular work schedule. I know the Rose will have her schedule calm down after this week. I'm still trying to score one update a day for the month of January, so I'm hoping tomorrow will let me post something exciting. Grar.

Rap in other languages, part 2: English

2011-01-23T01:15:00.002-07:00

So yeah, rap in other languages is great, but what about some of my favourites in English? Good idea, and it'll make for a short post, since I completely forgot about updating until just now, at 12:45am. I'm supposed to be in bed by now because I have to work tomorrow, then zip on over to Happy Harbor Comics for a Pure Speculation Festival meeting. Yipe!

I discovered the wide world of rap relatively recently, even though I grew up in the time of Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer, Tone Loc, LL Cool J, and Young MC, to name a few. At that age, my musical tastes were still governed by what was popular on MuchMusic or, more likely, CBC's Video Hits! My cousins also loaned my family a bunch of VHS tapes, many of which were jam-packed with episode after episode of Friday Night Videos.

As I matured, my tastes inevitably changed and evolved and now, I'm still into very popular stuff, but I'm into it because it's good, not just because it's popular. So here's five of the ones I seem to watch on YouTube over and over again:

Of course Public Enemy's on the list. The fusion of rap and rock was something I really got behind, going so far as to be a fan of Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock (don't worry, I'm not into them anymore). But rap and metal really hit me hard with the Judgment Night soundtrack and, of course, Public Enemy and Anthrax's rendition of "Bring the Noise." Doctor Teeth and I do this at karaoke. We kick ass on the first verse, but the rest still needs work. I'm the Flava to his Chuck D, but I do a mean Scott Ian.

Something I both like and dislike about rap is the number of collaborations that appear on every album. When it's good, it can be really good, but when it's just a cash grab, it really rubs me the wrong way. One collaboration that I really dig is KRS-One, Zack de la Rocha, and Last Emperor's "CIA."

I never really got into Jay-Z, mostly because I'd never heard much of his stuff. But this year, when I went looking for new rappers to listen to, I decided to give Jay-Z a try. And boy, was I impressed. Yeah, a bunch of his tracks rely a little too heavily on the samples, but damn, what a production. His "99 Problems" is what convinced me I needed to stop procrastinating and get me some album.

Now, I don't like a lot of gangsta rap. I think the glorification of the criminal lifestyle is not what today's kids should be aspiring to look and act like, especially when they're still too young to understand and accept the consequences. I'm also a humble, mostly nonmaterialistic pacifist with a highly romanticized view of handguns, so I probably don't fit the profile of a person who likes that sort of music. But for some reason, there is some gangsta rap that I really enjoy. House of Pain is one, for sure, but inexplicably, there's also Onyx. Among their thuggery is a light-hearted track about community, "Slam Harder." It even uses a sample from the "Welcome Back, Kotter" theme.

For a geek like me, it would be impossible to talk about hip hop and rap without mentioning nerdcore. That's right, geek rap that talks about video games, science-fiction, geek culture, and the like. At the forefront of the nerdcore genre is the man who was there at the start of the movement, MC Frontalot. This is the track that turned me onto him, "It Is Pitch Black." If the title sounds familiar, it's because the song is about the text adventure Zork, and the dangers of not bringing a light source into a cave, where the description is "It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue." The man is a lyrical genius. Any man that can rap about Darwin's "On the Origin of Species" has got to be awesome. I got to meet him at Penny Arcade Expo a few years ago, and he's a really cool guy.

So that's a vertical slice of my rap preferences. If you're reading this and have other rap interests, please let me know about them. I'll do another one of these about electronic music one day, when I don't have anything else to talk about. Maybe I'll find some good bands and albums this way.

Rap in other languages

2011-01-21T01:32:00.001-07:00

A while ago, I was on YouTube looking up new music. At the time, I was kind of on a hip hop kick, checking out KRS-One, Zach de la Rocha, and some Canadian talent like Choclair, Kardinal Offishall, and Rascalz. After a few different artists, I went further afield, checking out rap in other languages. That's how I found South Africa's Die Antwoord, who are becoming rather popular now, having performed at a couple of high-profile music festivals like Coachella. Here's their "Enter the Ninja" video featuring group members Ninja and Yo-Landi Visser, their DJ, Hi-Tek. The man with progeria in the video is Leon Botha, who according to Wikipedia is "a prominent Cape Town artist who is one of the oldest survivors of progeria."

Another artist I discovered was Point Blanc, a Malaysian hip hop artist who raps in three languages: Cantonese, Hokkien, and English. Okay, two languages and a dialect, but who's counting. I was surprised to find his music so accessible to me, since I'm a Chinese-Canadian who's largely lost his mother tongue, Cantonese, since moving out and having no one to speak with. But he's got some great tracks and I'm disappointed that none of it is readily available for sale. I can't even find his web pages anywhere, and the YouTube videos I found have only been up for 3 or 4 years. But here's a sample of his work (in Cantonese), featuring MC Yan, another Cantonese rapper.

It wasn't all so esoteric, the music I discovered. I found an artist whose music I want to hear more of, and she speaks a language I'm more familiar with. French rapper Keny Arkana was a great find, both because she spoke French and because she's female. Here's Keny Arkana's "La Rage," a great street anthem (with subtitles, no less).

I know, right? Who would have thought that this old-school MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice fan (there, I said it) fan who liked 1990s dance music would develop a love of rap. Sure, you say, I've listened to Public Enemy and Run DMC, and more recently been into Beastie Boys, Onyx, Rage Against the Machine and, ugh, Insane Clown Posse and Twiztid, but what do I know of rap? Well, I know rhythm and I know communication, and what is rap but rhythmic vocal communication set to a beat? Okay, yes, it's a lot more than that, but you get my drift. There's a lot to like. Heck, there's even some silly stuff out there I like, such as Notorious MSG, "classic" east coast Chinatown gangsta. I know I've talked about these guys before, but hey, it's a new year. So here's their first video, "Straight Out of Canton."

Thank you, and enjoy the music.

No iced tea and no lemonade make Ninja something something

2011-01-20T01:23:00.000-07:00

It's early into January 20, which means this little ninja has been without iced tea or lemonade for 19 days and a few hours. It was a new year's resolution, and while it hasn't been particularly difficult, I have been feeling its lack. I've been substituting it when I can with pineapple juice (which is awesome) and water, more often than not. I've also allowed myself just plain tea with no honey or lemon added, which is also fine.

I don't know if the success of this resolution is because it's not a difficult one, since I'm not and never was addicted, or because I've been too busy and occupied to notice. I think next year I will try to up the ante by giving up all juices and flavoured drinks, including lemon wedges in ice water, pop, and frappuccinos. that leaves water, tea, and coffee, which I don't like. That should be much more difficult, but I've got a year to plan for it.

It's been noticeable, though. I drink iced tea so much that servers at my favourite haunts have commented on it. One bartender has even pledged to join me in quitting iced tea for January. Next time I see her, I'll ask how it's going for her, since she'd be around the drink way more than even I am. I wonder how the bartender at my local Chili's would react if I didn't order a strawberry lemonade. It'd probably blow his mind.

It was strange at first, having to immediately tell the server that I'm only having water, so they wouldn't automatically pour me an iced tea. But now that they've gotten used to it, it's been fun to talk about. I'm sure several people, including the pair who regularly read my blog (hi, mom!) were convinced that I would slowly deteriorate like a junkie in withdrawal and slip into some kind of flavourless coma or something. No such luck.

Here's to the remaining 11 days. After that, I'm going to drink so much iced tea that you'll have to peel me off the ceiling... and change my pants... or something..

Arizona: Update

2011-01-20T01:05:00.000-07:00

About a week ago, I penned an update regarding the recent shooting in Tucson, Arizona, where a crazed gunman opened fire on a political rally, killing 6 and injuring 13, including Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, who was shot in the head. I've recently heard that the gunman fired 32 shots all in under 15 seconds. He was neutralized by witnesses at the scene while trying to reload. This post revisits some of the things I talked about last week.

Gabrielle Giffords is "making remarkable progress," and a mere 11 days after being shot in the head, she is able to stand with assistance and is being released from hospital to a rehabilitation centre in Houston. Also, something I didn't know, her husband is an astronaut so, despite not being American and not knowing anything else about her, I think she's awesome and wish her well in her recovery. The crazed shooter, Jared Loughner, has been indicted.

And speaking of crazy--or, at the very least, zealots with whom I vehemently disagree--it seems the Westboro Baptist Church took a step back from leaping off What-The-Monkey-Were-You-Thinking Cliff and instead took a drive down Still-Crazy-After-All-These-Years Boulevard. The hate group hiding under a federally-protected duvet of fanatical proportions decided to not protest the funerals of the dead little girl and judge killed in the Tucson shooting after all. Oh, they didn't do it out of the kindness of their hearts or anything. No, they stayed away in exchange for airtime on two radio shows, being granted a total time of 90 minutes between the two programs to reach what they believe to be a wider audience. I applaud whatever or whoever for trying to keep these hateful people out of the way of people trying to bury their loved ones, and who knows, maybe people will get so disgusted by these haters that they switch stations or turn their radios off entirely. I just don't like thinking of the Westboro Baptist Church getting a free ride to get on their soapboxes to try and convince people that anything bad that happens is God's punishment for America's tolerance of gay marriage. I mean, really, God the omnipotent, omniscient Father of the love thy neighbour Jesus who died for our sins is so pissed off that most Americans tolerate gay marriage and homosexuality that he petulantly kills a little girl here, a soldier there, crazies up a shooter here, and even creates the possibility of homosexuality in humanity's genes just so he can punish them millions of years--oh, sorry, 6000 years--later. Cool God, bro.

And what of Travis Corcoran, the owner of the online Heavy Ink comics shop, who blogged about how he's glad the Tucson shooting happened, under the title "1 down, 534 to go"? It seems his ill-considered and unpopular sentiments were taken more seriously than even he thought they would. What he considered a darkly humourous and acerbic freedom of expression was considered a threat by authorities, who investigated and removed a "large amount of weapons and ammunition" from Corcoran's possession and suspended his firearms license. Corcoran has not been charged with a crime, but in the wake of a shooting involving political figures, blogging very emphatically about how political figures should die and owning a mess of guns is probably not the first thing one should do.

I do hope some good will come of all this. I sincerely hope that American political rhetoric stops being about a violent us vs. them mentality. I hope that attack ads will become less serious and sound like they're accusing their opponents of being baby-kicking puppy-eaters who commit baby seal genocide in orphanages.I hope that politicians become less concerned about what their opponents and the opposing party are doing, and get back do doing their job, which is to represent their constituents and run the damn country or state or county or city, as they are paid and elected to do. Do your damn job, ladies and gentlemen, and leave the partisan arguments to us worthless schlubs on the internet.

Please Gamer, don't hurt 'em

2011-01-19T23:42:00.000-07:00

According to PlayStation Lifestyle, Mass Effect 2 for the PS3 is selling out everywhere. That's exciting news! Mass Effect 2 is a tremendous game, and I'm glad that PlayStation 3 owners finally get to experience it in all its glory, plus a few extras. Included in the PLayStation 3 version is a motion comic that sets up Mass Effect 1 choices, and a couple of bonus items that were available only when preordering Mass Effect 1 way back when.

For the most part, gamers and fans are overjoyed that they finally get to play the game that Xbox and PC gamers have been raving about, and the game that's been filling up BioWare's Mass Effect General Discussion forum for the past year and then some. But there are some folks out there who are not pleased about this release. Hoping that I won't wade into yet another minefield of controversy and people's sensitivity and righteous indignation, I will talk about it a little.

A couple of weeks ago, I was reading a discussion on the then-upcoming PS3 ME2 release. There were the expected cheers from BioWare's PS3 fans, but there was also a reaction I didn't quite know what to do with. A small but vocal section of the community was against the release. At least, they were against it so long as they perceived that the PS3 version of the game was better than the Xbox/PC version available a year earlier. The term "unfair" was tossed around quite a bit, with some almost delighting in demanding PS3 players get a lesser game experience because... well, because, I suppose. I was never really able to get a straight answer to that one, other than that it was patently unfair.

The crux of the objections seemed to be that, regardless of how long they had to wait, PS3 players didn't deserve to have a better Mass Effect 2 experience than Xbox360 or PC players did. As usual, I stuck my nose in where it didn't belong and asked what the "fairness" issue really was, since it seemed that publisher and parent company Electronic Arts would love to sell the game to PS3 players, and PS3 players seemed to be champing at the bit to get their hands on a PS3 version of Mass Effect 2! Supply and demand--nothing could be more elementary, right?

Apparently not. Some folks demanded BioWare make those bonus items available for sale. Some folks threatened to never buy another BioWare game again, since it was obvious that we were just being greedy and trying to make more money. This whole sense of gamer entitlement just rubs me the wrong way. On the one hand, I'm glad that people are so passionate about our game. I love reading about people losing hours, days, even weeks to a BioWare game. I love hearing people gush about our story and characters. I even love it when people hate on a character or start debating favourite love interests and coming up with all sorts of justifications for why a character did a certain thing. And, truth to tell, even when people are harping on the differences between Mass Effect 1 and Mass Effect 2, at least they're coming from a love of the first game and don't want to risk that positive experience changing. On the other hand, however, we have people taking it too far, to the point of wishing ill on another player who just wants to share in the same experience.

And it doesn't even make any sense. It's been a year since Mass Effect 2 was released on Xbox360 and PC. The PS3 ME2 team has taken the time to make it the best game experience it can be, just as the ME2 team (on which I worked for 7 months) did all it could to make the base game the best it could be. No gamer should ever consider that BioWare would deliberately give someone a lesser game experience. If the PS3 version had come out earlier, I don't think we would have seen this level of animosity towards fellow gamers. Sure, there'd be the usual gaming platform elitism (ie. my preferred gaming platform is better than yours because X), which we try to dissuade people from, but out-and-out hatred? It's the internet, sure, but I figured our fans would want us to treat them like mature adults and act like it. but some people.

Like I tried to say in that discussion: the people grousing about this should be pleased for the PS3 fans getting a little bonus in their version, because one day, the person getting the bonus could be them! And, you know what, the PS3 crowd were disappointed when Mass Effect 2 came out, but to my recollection, they weren't too unreasonable with their disappointment.

To be fair, there were many moderate voices in that discussion, which I appreciated very much. These were people who were also disappointed, but they suggested and hoped that whatever bonus the PS3 version got would later be made available to their preferred platform. That's a healthy attitude to have about the whole thing. No mudslinging, no casting aspersions on anyone or anything, no confrontation, not even a raised voice. Because no matter the hype, no matter the lifestyle and the culture, no matter what all your friends have, it is ultimately a luxury entertainment product. A darned fine one, if I may be so bold, but still not anything to get into fights about. Debates and arguments, yes, but not fights. Strict pacifist here.

In the interests of the elevating the perception of the gamer subculture, and in order to live better in the real world, we should all man up a little bit (even the ladies) and accept some of the disappointments in life gracefully. And, as always, we should strive to be excellent to each other.

The gimpiness returns

2011-01-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

Dang, I've missed a day. I was hoping to have an unbroken streak of updating the blog at least once a day, but last night was a bit of a poochscrew. As both of my faithful readers know (hi, mom!), I am, as we say in the business, afflicted with the gout. This "the gout" can appear in any one of a number of joints, including, the big toe, ankle, knee, hip, shoulder, or elbow, and can appear on either side. In this case, it is the left knee.

This is especially distressing since I haven't had a bout with the gout in a number of months. I don't know if it's because I've been better at taking care of myself or if I've just been lucky. Unfortunately, I think it's the latter. I've had a couple of run-ins with repetitive stress on the wrist and fingers of one hand, and I've taken my anti-inflammatories for that, which probably staved off whatever gout was lying in wait in other joints. The last few weeks have been particularly stressful on the ol' body, and I' haven't been sresting enough at all. Lord of the Rings Online, CityVille, and DC Universe Online are probably partly to blame as well.

Yesterday, when the pain and stiffness started in the knee, I thought it was something I could weather, but over the course of the day, it just got worse and worse. By lunchtime, I was having trouble bending it, and by the afternoon, I had to use my cane to walk. And I didn't have any of my good pills at work, so by the time I left work, I could barely walk at all. It took me probably 10 minutes to walk downstairs and across the street to get to the bus stop, and when I reached my stop, it took 15-20 minutes to walk the 2 1/2 blocks home, with me concerned at every step that my knee was going to give out. Oh, and did I mention it was friggin' freezing last night? Not pleasant.

Today, I made an executive decision to call in gimpy to work. Sure, I could have gone in, but even with my pills it would have put a lot of stress on an already stressed out joint. I stayed in and barely moved all day, using my cane when I did have to move. Even going up the stairs for rehearsal was painful, though I was less concerned about the knee giving out completely today. As of now, I'm no longer concerned about the knee being exhausted and weak. I'm just concerned about all the swelling and the bending, which will take a couple of days, at least, to get better. I'll be back at work tomorrow and tonight, I'll be going to bed super early. Like, probably shortly after posting this update.

This is my first gimpiness of the new year, and my last gimpiness was around Christmas, but I didn't have to use the cane then. At least my throat infection's gone, yay! There, that's a lame update for a lame ninja.

Cane you dig that? (See what I did there?)

DC Universe Online

2011-01-16T01:15:00.000-07:00

So I picked up DC Universe Online, which is the DC Comics licensed MMO from Sony Online Entertainment. It's a nice game, fun to play so far, and seeing familiar characters and settings is definitely a plus for a comics fan like me.

I've made a couple of characters so far, both based on characters I've created for pro wrestling videogames back in the day. In the PlayStation 2 days, me and the guys were pretty big into pro wrestling and we would create our own brand of characters--usually based on ourselves or our personalities--and play them against one another. It was our first real shared world experience, where we would all be contributing to the storyline of this world. Several of us would take this experience and continue the characters' stories in New Alberta Pro Wrestling, an online pro wrestling federation.

Characters such as the Mystic Ninja, The Beast, Y2Jago, and D! joined such colourful personas as the Black Bastich, The Mad Booksellah, Giant Stephanie, and Wrestlotron, the wrestling robot who only wanted love. When Doctor Teeth and Jago took their characters and developed them further in New Alberta Pro Wrestling, they created a couple of other fictional independent wrestling promotions where even more colourful characters existed. To our quirky little world of independent wrestling, we added such luminaries as Easy Bake Owen, The Expositioner, The Connecticut Hillbillies, Opera Condor, Lumberjesus, Larry the Cocaine Fiend, and German the Clown.

So it is with this background that I created my first two DC Universe Online characters, a supervillain and a superhero who would fight hard for his own faction to win power, prestige, and maybe grab a few bucks in the process.

My first was the Black Bastich (pronounced with a Spanish accent, as in Theh Black Bast-EESH), a dual-pistol wielding villain whose look was inspired by Marvel Comics character Angar the Screamer and whose name was inspired by DC Comics' own Lobo. The Black Bastich considers himself a ladies man and speaks in a faux generic European accent, somewhere between Spanish and Italian, with a bit of French thrown in. I'm really enjoying the Black Bastich's dual pistols so far, and I've barely broken into the skill and ability trees.

On the other side is the Mystic Ninja, who is the worst ninja ever due to how ostentatious he is. As a professional wrestler, the Mystic Ninja has a lot of pyro, flashing lights, and fast driving techno music in his entrance. His moves are flashy and very acrobatic. He is about the furthest thing from stealthy as one can imagine, much like his creator, upon whom the Mystic Ninja is based (naturally). As a superhero, he's become an urban sorcerer, dressed in a trenchcoat and fighting with both magical spells and two, twin-bladed katars. I've tweaked his style sheet so that he's also got spiked shoulder pads and some weird Egyptian-inspired embellishment on the back of the trenchcoat.

I'm looking forward to exploring the game more and seeing what else it has to offer. I'm finding the controls a bit strange, and combat is more action-y and real-time. There is no auto-attack and sometimes it's difficult to keep your target straight, especially when it comes to multiple attackers. There is a block maneuver that I need to use more (I can never learn to block in games), and a "breakout" move you can do when being stunned or held.

The skill tree is different, too. On alternate levels, you will receive either a new attack move--something that requires the mouse to pull off--or a new ability, which goes into your quickbar, which I think is pretty ingenious. This gives players more options to play with, and no other MMO (except maybe Age of Conan) uses the mouse for combat. Every other MMO puts combat abilities on the quickbar.

I'll likely have more opinions on the game after I play it for a while.

Weekend

2011-01-15T01:45:00.001-07:00

I had a pretty good week. I was productive, I was content, and for the most part, I was warm... ish. Of course my body couldn't accept that so I started getting sick. I'm hoping it doesn't go beyond a sore throat, because there's a lot of work to do this month.

The cold has returned and has brought with it the snow. Here's hoping for a beautiful spring and summer to follow. I'm going to stay in this weekend due to some very important things happening. Firstly, Edmonton Rush away games are being broadcast on CityTV, so Saturday evening, I'll be on my couch with a non-iced tea, non-lemonade beverage and a bag of caramel corn watching the Edmonton Rush at Boston Blazers game. And I will be cheering my ass off all by myself like any other idiot who thinks yelling at his screen will have any effect whatsoever on his favoured team. Yes, I will be that idiot.

Sunday will be a day where I have to be the boyfriend. Because the Rose is moving to Australia, she's had to give away her two cats, Luke and Vader. They are really cute cats, especially the white kitten Luke, but she can't afford to take them with her. Thankfully, she very quickly found someone who would take them in, and found someone to take over her apartment lease, so she's pretty well prepared for the big move. Sunday is the day she'll be saying goodbye to the kitties. Sure, the lady has promised to let the Rose visit whenever she likes, but to hand over actual possession of the cats to someone else is going to be hard, so I will be there for her. We'll have some dinner and watch a movie or two and just enjoy some time together, which has gotten rare since I've been in crunch and she's been sorting and packing her things.

This weekend will also be full of videogames. When I'm not with the Rose and not watching the game, I will be glued to the Ninjanomicon, playing DC Universe Online, a massively-multiplayer RPG based on the DC Comics superhero world. Yes, that's right, DC Comics. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern--all that fun stuff. I figure I'll spend an hour on the character creator alone, trying out different looks and powers until I find something I really like. And of course I'll be making a good guy as well as a bad guy. I've seen some of the gameplay and character creator from a friend playing the beta, so I'm looking forward to getting my own hands dirty with it. Who's with me?

Regulating for nothing and censorship for free?

2011-01-14T01:54:00.000-07:00

So the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council--the agency responsible for overseeing television and radio broadcasts in Canada kinda like the Federal Communications Commission does in the United States--has determined that the 1985 Dire Straits song "Money for Nothing" is unsuitable for broadcast in Canada due to the use of the word "faggot."

On the face of it, this is pure censorship based on the complaint of one hypersensitive, politically correct spoilsport who is trying to ruin things for the rest of us. The song has been around for 25 years and played on many rock stations in that time. It's played at weddings, in bars, as hold music, pre-show and post-show music, in public, and in video form. The song is an award-winning rock classic, and to think that suddenly the song is unacceptable is pretty much unthinkable. After reading the explanation for the CBSC decision, however, I am less sure that my reaction is the right one. Sure, I don't like being told what to think, and I really don't like the implication that not being offended by some charged words makes me an insensitive person, but I now understand the process that led to the CBSC's decision.

They are correct. The fact that a work is considered a classic, or has won multiple awards, or is enmeshed in the cultural consciousness of a generation, does not necessarily make it okay. So the song has been played for 25 years and it's this one complaint, now, that gets it banned from airwaves. Okay, I can accept their decision, since that's what their job entails, and I would rather know that they're doing their job (and that the system works) than to have them be an ineffectual puppet of corporate interests. So yes, CBSC and the complainant who started the whole process and could not accept the very well presented explanation and justification by the radio station who got the complaint first.

BUT.

Art is supposed to be interpreted. I'm pretty sure Dire Straits isn't proclaiming an anti-homosexual political position, and the context in which the song was originally released--1985--is 25 years behind us. I think it is incumbent upon the consumer of music and art to consider things like that. I watch Eddie Murphy Delirious and I laugh my ass off, despite his now politically incorrect and socially unpopular jokes and colourful language ("Faggots aren't allowed to stare at my ass while I'm up here."). Black comedians like Chris Rock can talk about the difference between niggers vs. niggaz, and even a Chinese-Canadian like me can find that funny. I can listen to rappers talk about niggaz--I can even "sing" along to the lyrics--and not feel like I'm committing a hate crime. Heck, I can even listen to the Korn song "Faggot" and not treat gays any differently than I always treat them--like regular people.

But I haven't been on the receiving end of a lot of discrimination. I've never been in a fight, least of all because of my race or orientation, and I've never felt shunned because I'm not a straight white Christian (except at that one Amway rally I attended when I was a teenager), even though I identify as Chinese most of the time. There's no way I can know how it feels to be ostracized because of something that I can't change, or fear for my safety or peace of mind because of it. I just think that, as with everything else that we disagree on, we can talk about it among ourselves before doing things like getting classic rock songs banned or removing "nigger" and "injun" from Huck Finn, as one publisher is doing.

I think my opinion on this is best expressed in my Looney Tunes Golden Collection vol. 2. Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons have been around since the 1930s and were originally presented as film shorts to a general audience. Since they were products of their time, there are caricatures of other ethnicities, caricatures of wartime figures and nations, and some shots against the mentally handicapped, people with speech impediments, women, and other groups. When I was a kid, I noticed that I always seemed to see the same couple dozen Bugs Bunny cartoons over and over, with the number decreasing year by year. And the shorts that were shown seemed to have been edited for a lot of content, including violence.

In Volume 2 of the Golden Collection, Whoopi Goldberg presents a disclaimer at the beginning of each disc. She talks about the context in which these shorts were created, and how important it was that we take these shorts in the appropriate context, not because the racist caricatures were right then or now, but because these shorts are an important part of film and animation history and deserve to be preserved and seen by new audiences and talked about. It's just as important to teach students and actors about the context for Shakespearean works like The Merchant of Venice, even though it portrays Jews unfairly. We can't have the good if there's no bad to compare it to.

So yes, I agree with the CBSC's reasoning and their right and duty to make that decision, just as I agree with the decision some radio stations are making to continue playing the song in protest. My stance will certain be unpopular with a certain section of the population, but I will continue to accept uncomfortable concepts and language in the art that I consume, and I will continue to support artists' right to play to people's discomfort in order to keep us thinking and talking to each other. After all, I don't have the right to never be offended.

Dragon Age II will be awesome

2011-01-12T23:52:00.000-07:00

It works the same way every time. Every project, there comes a point where I think "holy macroni, we've got ourselves a game!" It comes during crunch, usually after a few days of heads-down playthrough and looking at every single thing to evaluate likely bugs and balance and fun.

So it was today that I was playing through the game and realized "hey, I've been having a great deal of fun here!" I kept muttering aloud about this character or that line of dialogue or this combat or that plot, and I'm sure all my office mates were ready to kick me in the head to shut me up, but we have a game!

I'm not going to go on too much about it, since that's marketing's job and they can talk about it far better than I can and can include pictures and video. And I can't get into too many specifics, lest I start to spoil things for you. Suffice it to say that I think that it's a very different game experience from Dragon Age: Origins without losing the atmosphere that makes it distinctly "Dragon Age." The world is still intact, but as far as the game itself goes, it's paced very differently.

We've improved many things that gamers complained about in Origins. Unfortunately, this meant that even some things the hardcore RPG crowd enjoyed had to be changed in order to make everything feel more awesome from start to finish. There are some parts of Origins that I will miss, but I think the choices we made were the right ones overall.

Ultimately, I'm going to be proud of what we release, but because I'm in QA, I never think we have enough time. Once it comes out, you'll have to tell me how you think we did, because hoo boy!, did we do some awesome things! Awesome classes, awesome abilities, awesome followers, awesome stories--it's really going to be awesome!

Awesome.

Arizona

2011-01-12T01:02:00.001-07:00

I'd like to visit one day, because I've never been to a desert. I've been in a sauna before, so I think I'll be a tiny bit prepared for what I'd face in Arizone, temperature-wise. Except I'll be wearing pants... maybe.

But I wanted to get some basic thoughts down about the recent shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and others in Arizona. On January 8, Gabrielle Giffords was meeting with constituents at a Safeway in a Tucson suburb when a crazed gunman began shooting up the place, seriously injuring Rep. Giffords and 14 others, and killing six. Giffords was shot in the head, yet managed to survive, in no small part thanks to the quick thinking of her intern, Daniel Hernandez, who'd only been on the job five days.

For his part, the gunman was tackled by a group of witnesses--a 61-year-old grandmother, a U.S. Army officer, a Giffords volunteer, and a former football player--and held so no more damage could be done.

In the wake of this terrible tragedy and senseless loss of human life, people are going as apeshit as they possibly can, and rightly so. What motivated the shooter? Who started it? What's to blame? how can we prevent this from happening again?

Many theories are being thrown back and forth over partisan lines, despite Rep. Giffords being a pro-gun rights Democrat, and the gunman's motivations have been everything you can imagine them being, except for a Chris Rock bit I'm reminded of that's nowhere near politically correct when discussing the motivations of killers: Whatever happened to crazy? Because if we can agree on that, we can move on to dealing with some of the other idiotic things that people are doing as the result of, or maybe leading up to, this event.

People are talking about the violence and gun-laden metaphors used in recent political oratory, where politicians are using imagery based on firearms, shooting, and targets to disagree with their opponents. While I'm all for the freedom of expression, I think that when it comes to something as deep and personal as politics, inciting the easily-influenced to use violence against their enemies is likely not the most responsible thing one can do. It's not the regular, sane, angry people we need to worry about when we talk about using violence against our political opponents, it's the crazy, as Arizona has just proven. Could the gunman have done this terrible thing without people throwing gun metaphors around? Absolutely, but what happens when the voices inside your head urging you to kill your enemies match the opinions of the voices coming from outside, from real live people, from elected officials, from people you actually see on television and hear on radio? Well, then, it starts to seem like a good idea then, doesn't it?

What about regular people? What are they doing after this shooting? Most people, the sane, the normal, the regular, are mourning their dead, helping out their fellow man in their time of need, and trying to make sense of it all. But not everyone is. Some people are using this horrendous act to fucking cheer! There are people out there who are actively and publicly cheering the fact that six people were shot to death by an unhinged maniac because one of those shot at was a politician. Oh, bra-vo, humanity. Bra-fucking-vo.

Oh, I'm sorry, did I just say bra-fucking-vo to one guy spouting an unpopular opinion, even though he does have as much of a right to express that opinion as I do in expressing my distaste for it? What I meant to say was bra-fucking-vo to the Westboro Baptist Church, who feel its their place to picket the funerals of the shooting victims! Yes, that's right, this monumental douchecanoe of a church, who previously picketed the funerals of military personnel and went around to various cities to protest against gays.

I'm sorry, Westboro Baptist Church. I'm agnostic, so I'm pretty much disagreeing with religion all of the time, but I figure that what a person believes spiritually is their own business because one's religion is a very personal thing. But since you've up and decided to throw your faith (and your God) in the face of everyone you don't like, to the point where you have the audacity to protest at funerals, you no longer have immunity from my ire. Not that my reach is long or my ire particularly warm, compared to that of the internet, but me and both my readers (hi, mom!) are peeved. Oh, you heard me, Westboro Baptist Church. I was swearing before but now I'm mighty peeved. I don't care who your God is, but you can take Him and your obnoxious signs and your disrespectful, ugly ideology and leave those people the fuck alone! Your God is a petty little tyrant if he can't stand the fact that He made this world with all the people you hate in it. Also, pro tip: if this is all a test of His, I bet y'all have failed.

Yeah, I'm down to an ineffective internet squabble with an entity who will never hear me. But it just makes me angry when people are so hypocritical with their religion, because it's not proper to make fun of them for it. Then they take advantage of their privileged status to spew hate in that religion's name. Kinda makes you wonder: if it's okay to believe all Muslims are terrorists just for the actions of an extreme few, why isn't it okay to paint all Christians with the same brush based on its extremists?

Not to worry, I don't paint all people with the same brush with which I paint their extremists. That would be against Ninja's Law. Okay, it doesn't actually have a name, but it's something I picked up from a movie when I was a kid and have tried to live by ever since. Everyone should, because it's a good'un:

Be excellent to each other..

Baking?

2011-01-10T23:31:00.000-07:00

You hear it right, folks. The ninja bakes. At least, he baked last night. It was funny. I didn't eat lunch until 5pm, and skipped dinner entirely, so I was naturally kinda peckish in the evening. I didn't want to eat my leftover stir-fry (even though it is delicious--which reminds me, I should finish that off soon cuz I don't want it to go to waste) and I didn't want to eat any of the junk food I had lying around the house. I've been scarfing the occasional Ferrero Rocher at work and at home since Christmas, and I didn't feel like something as synthetic as the Cheezies in my cupboard, and Pop Tarts didn't seem appropriate.

What was a peckish ninja to do? For one thing, he could break out the cookbook the Ninjasis gave him for Christmas last year and see if there were any cookie recipes that were, quick, easy, and whose ingredients I already had lying around since the Rose baked for the Apocalypse Kow Kristmas Kabaret. Bingo! Chocolate chip cookies, my favourite.

Sure enough, the recipe is super easy and I had all the ingredients and then some. About the only thing I didn't have was an electric mixer. I mixed everything by hand, er, spoon. Tough going, but it worked. When it came time to add the chocolate chips, however, I paused a bit. That many chips seemed excessive. Indeed, as I poured them in bit by bit to mix them into the batter, it seemed like the chips would overwhelm the whole recipe. When I got them all in and mixed, I began the dirty process of forming them into balls.

Again, I paused. The balls weren't as cohesive as the ones for my peanut butter cookie recipe, and the chocolate chips seemed the most substantial part of the balls I formed. Ah well, too late to go back now, so I continued. As usual, the first batch--or "practise batch," as my friend Danica called them--were overdone. The second batch was just about right, except I didn't wait for them to cool long enough and they were kinda bent. The third batch was practically perfect in every way, including being chock-full of chocolate. Success!

I brought them to work this morning, and they were a big hit. Now that I know how easy they are, I'll be sure to make them again, but bigger, maybe. Yeah, bigger is always better when it comes to cookies.

Yum!

2011 will not be boring

2011-01-10T00:24:00.001-07:00

Wow, what a week.

If last week was any indication of the rest of 2011, it will certainly not be boring. I've been wondering over the last couple of weeks whether the Bell's palsy was turning me into Evil Ninja and I'll be back to the same old boring ninja after it goes away. I honestly don't know, but at this rate, I may even go skydiving this year. That's how strange and different everything seems right now.

After a very eventful week and a Snowmageddon weekend--seriously, it snowed a lot this weekend--my body told my brain to shut up and stay unconscious for a few extra hours today. I didn't get out of bed until 2pm and felt, well, okay. It's a good thing I didn't have any appointments today except for the Pure Speculation Society of Alberta annual general meeting, otherwise I probably would have missed them. Or skipped them, due to the aforementioned Snowmageddon.

What I did do was enlist the help of my good friend Jago, whom I referred to today as my friend with automotive benefits. For the mere price of a meal (and the usual camaraderie and awesome conversation), he took me downtown in his old, very low-powered automobile. This automobile, a 1995 Ford Escort, is a Jago classic. It's been a part of our friendship just as much as this house has, and there are many (dull, boring) stories of its lack of highway passing power and its idiosyncracies, such as a seatbelt that has to retract just so if you want it to work the next time you get into the passenger seat.

Unsurprisingly, the car was buried 'neath a metric crapton of snow(mageddon) and had to be dug out. Between the two of us, we managed to clear most of the snow on and around the car, but there was still an inches-thick ring of ice clinging to the front bumper and partially obscuring his headlights, probably the result of the headlights and hood melting the ice until it fell down the front of the car. Jago's ice scraper was wee and not up to the manly task of clearing any but the thinnest layer. Not even my scraping prowess was enough to pry this icy armour from its adopted home!

You know what finally worked? I grabbed the ice chipper from where we'd last buried it in the front yard. Yes, the manly ice chipper intended for use on sidewalks, hobos, and decorative ice sculptures like the kind being made across the street for the Ice on Whyte festival. A couple of pokes with that masculine tool of winter sidewalk domination and the front of Jago's car was free, its unwanted cargo of ice falling off in chunks.

But then we couldn't get out of the lot. The car was stuck. Wimpy ninja again to the rescue! It didn't take much, just a good low stance and firm, even pressure on the front bumper, and voila! Jago's car gets free and clear, and I fall onto the snow. No biggie, for Evil Ninja feels nothing, not even compassion or mercy, o'er half his face! Okay, that's not technically true. I can feel the face, I just can't move it. But I can't really be Evil Ninja that way, now, can I?

I can tell you're just riveted by this tale of digging out a car to go out for office supplies and a late lunch/early dinner. We went to Brewster's. There, does that make the story more exciting? And Brewster's had a really good menu! We found many things there that even Jago could eat! Happy now? The story has happy ending!

EDIT: See, this is what happens when I try to be funny. I forget the entire point of today, which was the Pure Spec Society AGM. It was a great meeting. We got a lot of feedback--positive, negative, and what were you guys thinking?--from board members as well as attendees, and we learned we ended the festival in the black. Now to keep the entire operation financially viable, and we'll be golden, but that's an ongoing process.

We elected a new board of directors--guess which ninja became president of the society?--and struck a preliminary organizing committee that will hopefully help us get Pure Spec past the 500 mark. We've already hit a milestone by being around five years without going bankrupt, so let's keep the good times rolling. And hey, if I have any local readers who are interested in volunteering to help out with the festival organization this year, please email me or send me a Facebook message with your contact information. Feedback on Pure Speculation 2010 is also always welcome.

Edmonton Rush 2011

2011-01-08T17:22:00.001-07:00

For those of you who don't know, I'm a sports fan. Not like "beer-drinking, face-painting, horned helmet, shirtless with a cape blowing into a vuvuzela" fan, but for the last 4 years I've been a season ticket holder to Edmonton's professional box lacrosse franchise, the Edmonton Rush. It all began during the Rush's inaugural season. I'm sure they were having all sorts of block ticket sales and bulk discounts in order to get bums in seats, and BioWare happened to be in the market for events to treat us to at the time (we go to fewer events now, but it's no less fun to work there), so I took advantage of this particular one. Or two or three, because I think they bought blocks of tickets for a few games.

Up until then, I'd only been sort of a casual hockey fan and even more casual CFL football fan, being in it more for the municipal patriotism than for any love of the sport. But something changed when I went to my first couple of Rush games. I started getting really into it, and so for the second season, I bought my first season ticket package. Heck, I bought two seats just in case other people wanted to go with me that I could turn into lacrosse fans, and that's where we are today. I'm in a new seat this year because they're blocking off half the arena--better to have 8000 or so fans packed tighter together than to have their enthusiasm spread across the whole arena, after all--but I'm very excited about this season.

You see, as a new franchise, we really didn't know what we were doing in the first few years. Our play was inconsistent, we had no real offensive strategy, our defense couldn't adequately support our goaltender, and we couldn't play a full game, usually flagging by the end of the third quarter. We went from an average attendance of about 9000 down to a relatively stable 7000 or so, but we still weren't winning and things looked kinda grim.

But then Coach Derek Keenan (second-cousin to former NHL coach Mike Keenan, yes) came in, shook everything up like a messy Etch-a-Sketch and started from the ground up. We got a couple of exceptional players from the Portland Lumberjax dispersal draft, inked a promotional deal with MMA fighter Randy "The Natural" Couture, and started kicking ass nine ways from Sunday. Suddenly, we started winning games, scoring effortless goals, and mowing down inadequate defensive lines. Our defense became a wall around our goaltender, and our goaltender Hulked up and stopped everything thrown at him. We stopped letting forwards in down the middle, we blocked the passing lanes, and we got way more aggressive at picking up loose balls. We became a potential winning team.

And boy howdy, did we. Last year, we were one game away from the Champions Cup for the first time in franchise history. Gibble and I went down to Calgary for the quarter-final Battle of Alberta, watching the Rush cream a very powerful and legacy team in the Roughnecks. You can read my review of that game in this update from last May.

Why am I talking about the Rush now? Because NLL lacrosse season starts tonight, bitches, and it's Edmonton Rush at Toronto Rock. The game started 5 minutes ago, and I don't get TSN2. Aside from the games against the Rock, all of the Rush's away games are being shown on CityTV, which I do have. *grumble grumble* But there's some consolation here. At least it's not a home game this week and I'm not making the trip outside through neck-high snow, uphill both ways, to watch the game. Because I would, you know, partly because these tickets cost money, but mostly because I love my lacrosse team!

This year, we've got a new captain--Brodie-freakin'-Merrill!--some new players, and we're fresh off a season where 8 overtime seconds in the semi-final sealed our fate as non-champions.

The first home game is against the Calgary Roughnecks on Friday, January 28! I'll be at Rexall Place watching the game. Where will you be?

I'm racist, day 3

2011-01-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

Bet you think you're going to find something new here to jump on me about. Unfortunately not. On the advice of a number of people whom I've talked to about this, people whose opinions and insight I trust, I'm no longer going to be the irascible racist the internet has made me out to be (with or without my own help) and shutting down this line of discussion.

It's probably not a good idea to keep the fires burning when I'm using myself for its fuel, and with the volatility of the topic and how sensitive people can get--not to mention our vastly different life experiences with the topic--I'm going to keep it down until and unless I can engage someone on an equal level in an appropriate venue. So thank you for all the advice, all the support, and all the yelling. While the status quo remains unchanged, I have learned much more than I thought I would about online communication and what I want out of it.

And special thanks to the commenters. I bear none of you any malice, and I do appreciate the opportunities you gave me to try and explain myself. You may not have changed my mind, but you are changing the way I do things from here on out.

Remember always to be excellent to each other.

I'm racist, day 2

2011-01-07T02:27:00.001-07:00

What a day. A full crunch day at work followed by some Pure Speculation business, and then something I was kinda dreading a little bit but saw as a challenge: responding to comments on my blog. Ordinarily it wouldn't have been too daunting. I probably only have a handful of readers, and only one or two who subscribe (hi, mom!) on a regular basis.

But the whole racial diversity discussion moved over here to the Ninjablog and someone even spammed my Twitter with comments (please comment this or the last post, sir, Twitter is a terrible place to have an argument). Overall, I was appreciative of what people had to say. How could I not? I can identify with racial issues, and I like talking about how it affects our media and our consumption of it, and they were only going for more inclusion, more racial diversity in modern media. How can you hate that?

Some of the comments did challenge me, and I tried to keep an open mind about a lot of the comments I initially disagreed with, but ultimately I couldn't budge more than a small admission that yes, I am impulsive and yes, I'm not always the most careful speaker online. I don't think I'm out-and-out wrong on this, I just think I'm not right enough for some commenters.

I was surprised, however, that so many of the comments appeared to misstate what I'd originally said. The "sensationalist hyperbole" ray had elevated what I thought were simple, if unpopular, disagreements to full-fledged contrary lines in the sand over which my company will never cross! I didn't have the opportunity to do it in my responses, but here and now, I can implore my detractors to please let creators create, as they will, for only in the freedom of creating do we get art. I don't want someone else's art dictated by my preferences. I want the art to affect me as it affects me. I want art to challenge me, to entertain me, to satisfy me. If I wanted to never be challenged or surprised, I'd make my own art, not consume the art of others.

Music is a great example, because part of my love of language is in its rhythms, the cadence of speech, the artful combination of words to make everything from poetry to speeches to declarations of love and/or war. Words. Yes, words. Lovely, beautiful rhythmic words. *ahem* But music.

I love discovering new music. I don't do it very often because I don't listen to the radio when I'm alone, and I don't research a lot of new bands and don't go to shows to discover new bands. But I hear new music on television, on other people's playlists, I get suggestions from friends or see something interesting on the webbernets. And each new discovery is different. While I discovered Nine Inch Nails in high school, I discovered the likes of Notorious MSG and Muse on YouTube. I discovered Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker and Postal Service in my buddy's car radio. I discovered Jonathan Coulton and MC Frontalot on the internets. Groups like Rammstein and Apollo 440 were discovered on soundtracks.

Now how much less would I have enjoyed these bands, any of them, if I'd written their melodies or if I dictated that the songs all be in iambic pentameter or, as an extreme example, I played every instrument on the album. And forget how much less I would have enjoyed it, how would the artists enjoy it if I did that? As a singer myself, I'm all right with taking suggestions from listeners and working with critique from an adjudicator. Heck, I will even watch and listen to other singers to get tips. But I don't think that I would be comfortable with having everyone insist I sing their way, record it and put my name on it.

And that's what I felt some of the comments were that I responded to--not simply offering up suggestions, or throwing out constructive criticism, but setting up their individual ideal as a foregone conclusion, then dictating terms and thrusting the New Improved Plan(tm) into my hands. As with the music, I'm not comfortable with that.

But Ninja, I hear you say, didn't you bring this all on your own head when you opened your big yap publicly on a divisive and sensitive topic? The only answer to that is yes, yes I surely did. Will I stop doing so in the future? Will tomorrow's update be about optimism or pessimism? I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

I'm a racist?

2011-01-06T01:31:00.000-07:00

Finally, Blogger lets me start writing, but at this point, it's gotta be a short and sweet update due to my attempts at discipline and going to bed at a decent hour.

So, as some of you may know, I participate in the BioWare online community, and I've been a Moderator there for the last eight years or so. Sometime during the development of Neverwinter Nights, we started up the brand new BioWare-hosted BioWare online fan community. What a great way to publicize ourselves and host fans and gamers from all over the world. From the start, I was hooked, since we were treated like rock stars. People hanging on our every word, trying to get info on upcoming projects or see what it's like to work in the videogame industry or just to see how awesome we are (pro tip: very). And eventually, I was chatting up people so much and helping out in the community that I was given the very serious responsibility of helping to moderate all those yahoos.

As you might expect, the internet has a lot of different kinds of people on there, and gamers come in all shapes and sizes, and we have a multitude of different attitudes and tolerances and biases that come with the internet masses. That's all fine. I love people, and I love the BioWare online community, and I love the support that the vast majority of fans throw our way all the time.

Okay, so recently, I got involved in a discussion on the forums dealing with racial diversity in games, or the lack thereof. It was a pretty intense discussion, and normally we would try to discourage political discussions but, despite how heated it was getting, there were some very good arguments being made on both sides. Some people were lamenting the lack of racial diversity in fictional settings (for example, Dragon Age or Mass Effect), while others were holding up those settings' fictional nature or their inspirations as reasons why they wouldn't necessarily have the same variety of ethnicities and visible minorities that the real world does. Seems pretty obvious to me--fictional world, fictional rules. Verisimilitude, sure, but since a game, book, film, or show is a discreet product rather than a living, breathing, evolving world, it doesn't have to--can't, in most cases--change to be something different.

But no, I'm not putting out the soapbox right now. That would make for too long of an update. Essentially, I kinda got into a heated argument with someone who was very passionate about having all races represented in more games. It truly seemed like this person was in support of every race being represented equally in every product... ever. Because we're no longer living in times where stereotypes are acceptable. And when I say "very passionate," I mean this person was ravenous. They latched on to this concept like Megashark latched onto Giant Octopus and wouldn't let go of it! I'm a little ashamed to admit that I posted some very heated responses that I thought would, if nothing else, get him to concede that no, not every product had to represent every race every time.

I don't think I achieved that. I eventually had to close the thread because it was getting too heated, but invited interested people to send me messages if they wanted to continue the conversation. But wow, what a thread. At some point, I was accused of being basically a "racist tolerator" because I wouldn't stand up against the obvious injustice being done, and if I didn't work to effect change, then I was supporting the status quo!

My response was that I did, in fact, support the status quo. Given the history of various cultures throughout the world, we've come a very long way in terms of equality in a comparatively short time. Gender equality, racial equality, sexual equality--it's all getting better all the time. We have women presidents, we have non-white celebrities, we have gay romances in videogames. About the only we don't have is equal representation for Yu-Gi-Oh players! (Okay, it's a joke I included in my posts to try and cool things down and inject a little humour into the proceedings. Got some laughs.)

Some blogger (game journalist?) managed to find the thread and did a little write-up on it, accusing me of dismissing the thread creator's (not the guy I was arguing with) reasonable request/question and kinda being racist about the whole thing.

I suppose I'm not really being objective about the whole thing here on my blog, but it's something I wanted to mention. I feel very strongly about the games BioWare makes, because I think we have some of the best writers in the business, writing memorable and dynamic characters time and again, and I don't want to see that kind of creativity and passion overshadowed by things like race quotas or checklists of mandated characters so we don't happen to offend anyone. If videogames are going to be seen as art (and to many gamers, it is), then artists should be given the freedom to create. And if some of the work is offensive to someone, then good. That's the kind of challenge that I like to see turn into discussion points on the forums. But please don't start taking entertainment products that seriously!

Yeah, not looking to out anyone or link to the thread or take revenge or anything. Like I said, it was eventful and I'm trying to update more, so you'll get some of the bad with the good, some of the nonsensical with the sensible, and probably more swearing than even I'm comfortable with.

Stricken by the palsy

2011-01-05T00:29:00.000-07:00

So a couple of weeks ago, just before Christmas, I was lamenting my lack of proper Christmas vacation and the need to work for four days. But I sucked it up like a soldier and went in. For a couple days previous, my eyes had been bothering me. Just the left one, which was all right, since I thought it was my glasses prescription being just a tiny bit off. Or from the recent repair job I had to get after the Rose knocked my glasses off my face with a misplaced elbow (I probably totally deserved it, too). Anyhoo, I'd had problems with that eye before, so I didn't think anything of it. It was just so damn annoying to have that eye water the whole day.

Throughout the week it got progressively worse. Not in my eyes, but in the rest of my face. For, you see, by the time I got to my folks' place on Christmas Eve, the entire left side of my face was getting pretty unresponsive. The right side was perfectly fine, and it's not like the left side started getting nub or anything. It just stopped working. I couldn't raise my brow on that side, purse my lips on that side, and my tongue and lips at times did, in fact, feel like they were under novocaine. But just on that side, mind you. Poking and prodding at my face was okay. I could still feel everything, I just couldn't move anything. And it being Christmas, I couldn't very well get to my doctor anytime soon.

So I looked up my symptoms and found something called Bell's palsy on Wikipedia, which described what was happening to me pretty well. It didn't seem so bad, and I really hoped that's what it was. Strange afflictions can be unnerving, but heck, I have gout, so I'm used to strange afflictions. I tweeted it and a friend suggested I'd had a minor stroke and I should see someone about it right fucking now, but I didn't believe that. Wouldn't I know it if I'd had some kind of stroke? Wouldn't there be more symptoms than simply half my face not working? My speech wasn't slurred, I wasn't disoriented, not nauseous, none of my senses were affected, and I had no trouble moving about. So I waited.

It wasn't until the Tuesday after Christmas--thankfully, no work that week--that I could see a doctor. But not my regular doctor, oh no. That would have been both convenient, fast, and comfortable. No, I had to find me a walk-in clinic because my doctor's office was closed for the holidays. Thankfully, there was one right by my office, easy bussing and walking distance, so there I went. In I walked to a waiting room full of people...

...and a posted 3+ hour wait time! *sigh* Nothing to do about it, I suppose. I gave my info to the lady at the desk and sat down to wait. While waiting I live-Tweeted my visit and talked to some folks on Facebook (my phone is a wonderful thingy), and looked at the others in the waiting room with me. Didn't seem like too many people ahead of me, so I sat and waited...

...and waited...

...and waited...

...until a friend who lived nearby stopped in to chat for a few minutes. We made plans to hang out afterwards, and he left. So I waited... and while I waited, I tried to figure out why some people were being called by name and some had numbered tickets. (I later found out that, in really busy times, they tell you to take a ticket until they have time to register you and put you on the waiting list to see the doctor.) There were three doctors on, but it seemed inconsistent as to who got to go in. They usually called the numbered people, and sometimes a walk-in would be called earlier than those people who'd been waiting with me the whole time. (I also later found out that some people preferred to leave and come back in a few hours rather than spend the entire time in the waiting room.).

And then a co-worker also visited the clinic, so he and I chatted a while. Finally, after I'd been in that waiting room an hour or so--yes, all that waiting was only about an hour--I went up to check my position on the list. I felt badly for the lady at the desk, who'd probably had to answer the question a mere jillion times, but she told me straight up that there were 5 people ahead of me. A half hour later, and my name was called.

A kindly old doctor who spoke in accented English--Polish, maybe? Eastern European, for sure--got my symptoms and suggested it was Bell's palsy. Then he went away and returned with a Big Book of Medificatin' Folkses(tm) and proceeded to read from the entry on Bell's. Yes, I got that symptom, yes, that one too, yes, yes, yes, no no that one, yes, and yes. Good, Bell's it is. He gave me a prescription, lightly dressed me down for waiting so long to get it checked out, and that was that. Still, much less than the 3+ hour wait I was expecting.

So some friends and I went for dinner at West Edmonton Mall and some CD/Blu-Ray shopping! Yay!

So here I am a week later with half a face, a bottle of disgusting-tasting tiny pills. Each is 5mg, and I have to go three days on a particular dosage before reducing that dosage, so I've gone from 80mg (16 tiny pills) once per day for three days, then down to 60mg (12 tiny pills) once per day for three days, and now I'm on day 2 of 3 for the 40mg dose (8 tiny pills). I dunno if it works, but at worst it'll do nothing and at best it'll help so I'm not too broken up about the pills. And I'm confident that I'll get better. It'll just take time.

So until then, it'll be really annoying and make it difficult to eat a sammich or anything else requiring a big bite. Or anything made of lots of discreet pieces, like rice or pasta. Or small pieces because they get stuck on one side of my mouth. Or hold a mouthful of liquid. Or... you get the idea. It makes eating more of a chore and I'm down to half a sense of taste. For a guy who likes to eat, it sucks.

But it could be worse. My thoughts and hopes for good health these days are for my old friend, DC Cool J of the Forestburg J's, and his family, who are going through something far worse than what I'm going through. We're rooting for you, buddy. Hang in there!

Resolutions 2011

2011-01-04T01:07:00.001-07:00

For years, I didn't make resolutions because I mistakenly assumed that I could just make them during the year and stick to them. Well, that doesn't work with me either, so why not make New Year's resolutions all official and traditional like? Hopefully this will work, because I've made a couple of them, one very active with a defined end date, and one more vague without a sunset clause.

The first, and active one, is that I'm giving up iced tea and lemonade for one whole month. Now, I really don't know why I'm doing it. It's not for health reasons. I drink a lot of water daily and am not a big fan of pop to begin with, so I rarely drink it. I also don't drink coffee, though I indulge in a weekly frappuccino. So giving up sugar wouldn't really do much for me. And it's not to save money. Iced tea is a common pop-like beverage and most places will give free refills on them. Any place that doesn't must have some really fancy iced tea (such as the Manor Cafe and Urban Cafe. Delicious iced teas there.) And the couple bucks a day I spend on iced tea is likely less than some people spend on coffee throughout the day, so that's not it either.

The primary reason is that I've never done it. I've never actively denied myself iced tea for any length of time, so it's been over 10 years since I've been without the tasty beverage for any length of time at all. And when not drinking iced tea, I'm drinking lemonade, which is close, so I'm giving that up for a month, too. Originally, I considered giving up brewed tea at home, since it's even closer to iced tea than lemonade is, but I figure that I don't drink brewed tea at home nearly as often as I drink iced tea, so it should be okay as long as I don't add any sweeteners to it or ice it or anything that might defy the spirit of this resolution.

The secondary reason for this resolution relates to my more passive resolution, which is increased discipline. I was thinking about this this evening. Even three years ago, I was a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed paragon of optimism who had resolved to lose weight and start exercising, despite a seeming increase in the frequency of gimpiness. Even two years ago, I was going to the gym and trying to get healthier. Fast forward to this year, and I'm, by comparison, a cynical, lazy, dour old man who doesn't get gimpy as often but also doesn't feel the desire to get up and go anymore. And I hate that feeling. It's the first stage in succumbing to my fate and the first step in promoting deteriorating health.

Consider the last 12-16 months: stress leave, despair, carpal tunnel, Bell's palsy (which I will talk about in a future update), back trouble, sloth, and a lot of unhealthy anger and cynicism. These are things I'd like to purge from my system so I can feel better about myself and my outlook on life. I want to be young on the outside again, even as I am aging on the inside. i want to continue being cane-free (as I have been for the last long while, it seems) while being pain or injury free in other areas at the same time. This is a process which I need to start sooner rather than later, so that I don't have to start the process while I'm in worse shape than I am now. Starting a process for improvement is the most difficult part.

So where do I want this process to accomplish? Besides me feeling better about myself, I want it to improve my discipline about myself. It will allow me to get to work earlier, go to bed earlier (which I should be doing now, but I ate dinner late and now I'm blogging), focus better at work, and give me the encouragement to go to the gym again on a regular basis. Of course, it will help when my current project is done and my schedule clears.

But Ninja, I hear you ask, if you're not drinking iced tea or lemonade, what are you replacing it with, something worse like coffee or pop? Heck no! I'm replacing it with the occasional glass of fruit juice. I'm a big fan of fruit juice, especially weird foreign juice like currant, guava, lychee, aloe. pomegranate, dragonfruit, starfruit, that kind of thing. And pineapple juice. Holy cats, how come I can never remember how much I like pineapple juice? It's awesome! But not lemon juice because, as you'll recall, I also gave up lemonade. And probably limeade, too, though that's not nearly as common a drink as the lemon variant. A wedge of lemon or lime with water is fine.

I doubt I'd be able to do this at any hotter time of the year, but January should be all right. Already people are noticing. I was asked by the server at my local watering hole why I wasn't drinking iced tea. Aw dang, I just realized that this means no strawberry lemonade at places like Chili's, either! *sigh* I knew there was a down side to this.

Wish me luck, readers!

Move to the Batcave

2011-01-02T23:57:00.000-07:00

I promised to tell you about the big move, and since this is my last day of vacation before going back to work tomorrow (sigh), it's as good a time to do it as any--now, while I'm very slowly transferring my music collection back into iTunes for the hrmhnnth time and listening to a lot of Apocalyptica. If you never really cared for a cello quartet covering Metallica tunes, you're in luck because their last few albums have been more like metal albums which happen to feature cellos instead of guitars. And a double bass. And drums. And some great vocals, too. No, seriously, Worlds Collide and 7th Symphony, the last two albums, are amazing!

Right, the move. Remember in the last update, I was talking about the rut I'd fallen into and how I was taking steps to get myself out of that rut? Well, the move was part of it. I'd been unsatisfied with my living arrangement for some time, but was hoping that the next move would be to my very own owned property. When that didn't happen, I did the next best thing. My friend Axler was planning to move out of the place downstairs and suggested I take it. That way, he'd be happy, the landlord would be happy, and we wouldn't have to worry about strange new people in the place.

Since I was also newly into what I hoped was a long-term relationship with the Rose, a little more privacy probably wasn't a terrible thing, either. So I broached the subject with my roomies, talked about it with the landlord, and came to terms with moving at the end of October. But I'm an idiot who can't make time estimates on projects, so I was woefully unprepared for the move. I enlisted the help of my dear friends, Mr. and Mrs. Flop, who, between the two of them, either moved the bulk of the boxes and furniture or sorted my media. (I'll leave it to you to figure out who did what.) The Dorklord and Jago helped out as well, and that weekend, most of my stuff was moved.

Oh, don't congratulate me just yet. I've been here two months now, and there are still packed boxes both here and upstairs in my old room--the guys didn't take on a new roomie and didn't take the room--which I'm sure I'll get to eventually. I didn't realize I had so much stuff! Since the move, I've been slowly getting to boxes, sorting through old junk, and throwing away a lot of things that don't mean anything to me anymore. It's amazing how much clutter we accumulate, especially we geeks. I'm hoping that, by spring cleaning time, I'll have moved everything down and/or thrown stuff away so that I can move around my place freely and still know where everything is!

The place is really nice. It's set up much like the upstairs is, and the bedroom is almost identical in size and layout to my room upstairs. The only strange things in this place are the heat--which is shared between my suite and the other, smaller and climatically diverse suite on this floor, and the fact that I have a bathroom and and shower room. According to Axler, the shower room was a hideous monstrosity. I'd not seen it in years, but the landlord obviously agreed with him, since before I moved in, the shower room was transformed into a thing of modern beauty. With a real, powered vent that doesn't go straight into the laundry room!

I've got a spacious kitchen where I can actually eat food... or I would eat food there, if I didn't have a spanky new television in the living room and comfortable couches. Just like I did upstairs, I eat while watching television, but with some differences. No longer do I get the benefits of high-definition satellite picture with digital PVR. I have to sit through the commercials on standard-definition cable, but I'm not paying for it. I don't know if anyone is, but they haven't shut it off yet and haven't sent me a bill or contacted me, so I'm enjoying it while I can, commercial-induced rages and all. But if I want to spend an evening with the guys upstairs, I just go up the back stairs and I don't even have to go outside. It's working pretty well so far.

It's called the Batcave, and my crime computer isn't the computer (that's called the Ninjanomicon, remember), it's the super-funky Sony Bravia 40" 3D LED TV plus Sony 3D Blu-Ray. Everyone, ooooooooooooh! It feels good to have a place of my own again, a place where I can go without pants whenever I like! Now, let's hope I've grown up over the last 10 years and don't get uber-lonely after three months.

The most annoying thing about this move? Having to change one digit on my address. One single, lousy digit on everything that's got my address on it, every card I own, every bill and utility, every contact.

Next: a resolution, of sorts..

Happy New Year 2011!

2011-01-01T23:31:00.001-07:00

Happy new year, everyone, and welcome back to the ninja's ramblings, rantings, whingings, and general drivel masquerading as literature. I've decided not to give up on this thing, since over the last 4 months of absence I've been wanting to talk about things that are happening, but for one reason (work) or another (more work), I've been content with regular venting on Twitter and Facebook. This gets instant gratification and a number of comments, but sometimes I just gotta rant.

First aside of the year: I've been slowly reintroducing my music collection to the unholy digital maw of the Ninjanomicon. It's a slow process, since after I moved (one of the things I really need to tell you about), a helpful elf sorted all my CDs and couldn't fit them all in, what with all the new discs I keep buying. I haven't culled my CDs in a number of years, so that's part of the current process. I'm finding a surprising number of discs that I no longer want to listen to, and some old maybes that are really grabbing me again. Also, because I haven't done any CD administration for a while, I've got doubles and even triples of a couple of discs. Serves me right for not listening to them right away and forgetting I have them. Of course, another effect of this is that I've got another bag of CDs in the house somewhere that I can't find. And I really want to find that one because it's got my Mute Math: Armistice in it.

Back. I will long remember 2009 as the year everything kinda went down the gutter. 2010 went a whole lot better, but I've fallen into several different ruts that I need to get out of. It wasn't until very late in the year that I started to become aware of these ruts and take steps to climb out of them. Nearly every facet of my life became too comfortable and lazy, so I kinda left them alone even though I really need constant movement in order to feel good about myself. Whether it's work, home life, new experiences, my health, relationships, creativity, or whatever, something needs to be happening all the time. Several of these things are moving, such as the relationship and the home life, but the others were stagnating. 2011 will be the year of restructuring and rethinking of some things. Don't worry, ladies, I'm not planning to become gay or anything; that would be unpossible.

Let's start the new year off with a positive note: the annual House of Style New Year's Day Potluck Brunch! It was a much more muted affair this year compared to last year: fewer people, less meat, and less chaos. We also had a bunch more room this year since I've moved (don't worry, I'll update that soon). I made eggs and punch, as usual. It turned out very well. I got a lot of compliments on the eggs. (The secret, of course, developed after years of bachelor cooking and a lifelong love of eggs, is a lot of butter, salt and pepper, some parsley flakes for colour and subtlety, and a sprinkle of chili powder for effect.) Some other food highlights:

Nezbitt destroyed us with a couple of tasty offerings: a huge-normous bag of one-and-a-half bite cookies, peanut butter and chocolate chip; and a chocolate chip cookie dough dip with animal crackers! WTF? But OMG beez was it delicious!
Mrs. Flop made chocolate chip cranberry cookies, which were also wonderful
The Jago managed to find some kinda wizard bacon that fried up like NOM. Thick, juicy, and meaty without being too salty. Oh, did I mention thick? I couldn't eat more than four strips!

Some out-of-towners made it in, including Dr. Dooom (remember, the extra O is for extra dooom) who was in from Regina, where he's instructing the next generation of scientists in the fine art of subatomic sciencing. That guy's been working really hard since I met him in junior high. I hope he gets to discover something really awesome, like find the Higgs boson in a far corner of the Large Hadron Collider or something. Like "hey, guys, I found these particles just sitting and gathering dust, so I thought I'd run them through this burger. Guess what? The Higgs was in the Baconator the whole time!"

Another aside: remember when I was talking about rediscovering iffy music and finding I like it again? Well, you'll never guess which group is doing that for me right now. Wanna hazard a guess?... Close but no, it's Bloodhound Gang. Yeah, inorite? Lower your musical integrity just a little bit, put on your beer hat, step into the gutter, and they're actually a lot of fun! Hooray for Boobies has got some good stuff on it. I want to see what they've come up with since, because I've found Foxtrot Unicorn Charlie Kilo on YouTube and enjoyed it. Yeah, me, the dude who wore the "I'd verb her noun" shirt a few days ago.

Back again. We didn't do anything terribly exciting after all the food was being devoured. I think we were just having fun being in each other's company again after a while away. The older we get, the more outside commitments we get and the less time we can spend with the same giant group of friends all the time. New kids are arriving, Christmas concerts conflict with get-togethers, people work odd hours, and some folks don't take the holidays well. But when we do get together, we have a hoot and a holler. I'm going to leave this one here and save some words for the next few updates, which are all kinda important.

I'm back, baby!.

The Girlfriend

2010-10-07T23:24:00.000-07:00

A-ha! Didn't take a month to post, did I?

So, the girlfriend. Let's call her Rose here in this blog, just because everyone else has a nickname. If you were so inclined, it would be simplicity itself to figure out who most everyone is, but most of you readers out there in blogland either already know or don't really care to go to all that effort to learn the real name of someone you likely won't meet.

We've been dating for a month and a half now, and things still seem to be going swimmingly. We complement each other's crazy, and we have quite a bit in common. She's artsy, has crazy-coloured hair, and is almost as nerdy and geeky as I am. And boy, does she like to dress up! She makes costumes, wigs, dreadlocks, and apparently knows XML tables like nobody's business. About the only negative thing I can say about her is that she owns two cats, so I can't stay at her place very often at all. But she stays at my place a couple times a week, which is about my speed for right now. I'm still not used to being part of a romantic couple. That's right, I said romantic.

Those of you who know me probably know that I've been against all that kind of Hollywood romance you see on television and in movies. It just seems so insincere to me, and benefits florists, jewelers, and chocolatiers more than couples. But since Rose and I started seeing each other, I kinda get where all that romance is coming from. It's not that I'll suddenly turn into some kinda materialistic Valentine's Day-celebrating, flower-sending romantic. Oh, heck no. But maybe, just maybe, I want to give her gifts and make sure she's happy all the time, because she certainly make me happy.

How did we meet? That seems to be the question everyone asks. It's quite the funny story. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

Rose is a longtime Fringe Festival volunteer, and I am a longtime Fringe performer. Apocalypse Kow is also a longtime Fringe staple on the outdoor stages. Can you see where this is going? Yes, you're very smart. Well, it takes a couple strange turns before it gets to that point so pay attention.

A few years ago, Apocalypse Kow did a show where we brought a papier-mache volcano out on stage and "sacrificed" an audience volunteer to it while we sang. Well, after one show, someone came up to us and asked if we could sacrifice their friend to the volcano because the friend was coming to the next show and it was her birthday. Of course we agreed, right? Who passes up a chance to sacrifice a birthday girl to a volcano? So the friend did, and we did, and tra la la, life goes on.

Fast forward to the Fringe Festival 2010. Apocalypse Kow is performing at the Fringe once again and we're in the middle of the weirdest weather Fringe ever. I'm hanging out online on this new dating site geared towards geeks, sending messages to girls who seem nerdy and cute. it's like spaghetti for me on dating sites. I have to throw a huge handful of pasta at the wall in the hopes that one or two strands stick. And even then, only a small fraction of that sticky pasta is any good. I've learned to not take it so seriously, but I still gotta try, right?

So one day, I'm on Facebook and I see this unknown girl has randomly friended me. I get the occasional random friend request on Facebook, sometimes from folks on the BioWare message boards, sometimes from friends of friends, and sometimes from random strange people. I generally don't friend people I don't know, but this girl was cute. We had some mutual friends, but I didn't recognize her. I looked through her pictures and albums and didn't see people I knew, so what did I do? I ignored the request.

A couple days later, however, this same girl sends me another friend request. Apparently, even though I don't know her, she must know me, right, if she's that insistent. I check again, and no, I still don't recognize her name, her face, or the people in her pictures. Ah, but this time she also sends a message. She's one of the girls on that geeky dating website I sent a message to, and she recognizes me from Apocalypse Kow at the Fringe, and we sacrificed her to the volcano that one time! i still don't remember, but did I mention she was cute?

Nah, I admitted I didn't remember her, but we got to exchanging Facebook messages, then exchanged cell numbers and texted, and very quickly (like within a couple days) decided to meet at the Fringe in person. She volunteered and worked the front gate, as well as security at night, but she had occasional breaks, which worked out because I also had occasional breaks. We met and chatted and walked around, and I didn't think much of it because my dating history is pretty light, and my experience with women has been mixed. I was going to take things slowly to see what, if anything happened. And here I thought I needed to take more risks, not take things slowly and gradually.

But it turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made. One meeting at the Fringe turned to two, then three, and suddenly I realized we were hanging out every day of the Fringe. Then it was her birthday, and she was having a big party, but Kow was performing and I couldn't attend, but she was also having a secondary birthday dinner on the Monday after Fringe, which I could attend. I always take the week after Fringe off of work in order to recover from the rigours of being a week-long stage performer, and I took advantage of that week to spend more time with Rose. It worked out well, and we spent nearly every day together in some capacity.

It was after that Monday birthday dinner that I realized that I was rather fond of this girl, and that we were kinda sorta going out. Text flew between our cell phones daily and nightly, each of us trying to figure out what the other wanted out of this and how to define it, and whether to define it. We talked about our preferences, our fears, our wants, our needs, our dislikes, our dealbreakers, and we promised to always talk to each other. She'd had some rough relationships, and my last relationship was 5 years ago, plus I had some weird ideas about relationships and love and whatnot that have sometimes gotten in the way of me finding a new girlfriend.

To my surprise, Rose was okay with all of that and all of me, and the feeling was mutual. Since we officially became boyfriend and girlfriend (you can tell it's official by the Facebook status, rihgt?), we've each been complimented by our respective friends on how good we seem together and how happy people are for us. Her friends like me and can't believe she found someone crazy enough for her, and my friends are happy that I've found someone. I've met her family, she's met my family, and no one has openly disapproved of anyone yet, so I'm taking that as a good sign.

It's so easy to talk to Rose about anything and everything. it's like she's a part of me already, a part of me that I don't want to get rid of... like a working knee. She makes me deliriously happy sometimes, and just normal happy the rest of the time. And she's coming into my life at a time when I am mentally, emotionally, and intellectually able to handle a relationship, which is good. I still have some strange ideas about relationships, but Rose takes it all in stride and puts up with this dirty old man as best she can.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I love her, and I'm not ashamed to admit that we get extremely gushy and saccharine over texts an when we're alone. But I think we work well together, and when we're in public, I try not to be too gushy or overly sweet. I'm still me, and she's still herself, but we like being with each other. Okay, so she threatens to steal my bacon and to smother me with a pillow in bed, but that's just because I tell terrible stories and threaten to stop feeding her, so it's still playful and loving.

We've talked about the future, and what kind of future we'll have together. At this point, I can still see us lasting a long time together, but I may still be blinded by infatuation and the newness of it all. But when I take a step back and look at it critically, with all the pessimism I can muster, which admittedly isn't very much, I can still see it working. This is great, because honestly, I don't want to do anything impulsive that will mess up this awesome thing I've got. And yes, I just referred to Rose as a "thing." She'll kill me for that later, but this is my blog, and in here, I am the max-ultra-president!.

Post-Fringe

2010-09-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy month since the Fringe ended, and while I've been updating Twitter like a madman and Facebook like a person who merely has strange ideas about aliens, I haven't had the energy to come back to talk to you guys. And boy, is there a lot to talk about. Let's start with the Fringe.

For the first time in Apocalypse Kow's Fringe history, each and every one of us was able to perform any time during the day, all week long. We had the most shows we've ever done at hte Fringe, and despite having to give up a lucrative Saturday due to a wedding some of the guys were going to, we also broke our record for most money taken in at the Fringe and the biggest hat we've ever had. We lagged a bit in merch sales, but I think we'll do a bit more business at our Kristmas Kabaret, still in the planning stages.

The biggest question we got from Kow fans who are also friends is: how's the new guy working out? Well, let me tell you, Joel Forth is working out better than Don Knotts in "Three's Company." He worked the mic like a pro, he busted his ass to rile up the audience, and he returned our sarcastic humour with interest! It was great. i'm totally looking forward to working more with him ove rthe next year. I can't even begin to imagine how much better next year's Fringe show is going to be.

It just turned out to be a great Fringe. Our superfans were there--late, but there. One of our longtime supporters finally made herself explicitly known, finally gathering the nerve to come up and chat us up. We'd noticed her before and were glad she came up to talk to us. It's hard not to notice a hot Asian belly dancer in costume sitting in the crowd, no matter how subtle she might be. And we even got some gifts from some of the vendors who wanted to show their appreciation for our show.

We normally get good response from the vendors. Because they're there all the time, they get to hear the same acts over and over again, twice a day, every day. We like to change our sets every show, so while the bulk of the act is the same, the vendors get a little variety. And we talk a lot, too, about a great many things, not just our act. This year, we talked up some of the food vendors. The lemonade guys were grateful and treated me to a couple free drinks. That was very nice of them. But the praise is well deserved, because when they're around, I live on their products for the whole 10 days of the Fringe.

Fringe in and of itself was a little weak this year. The food vendors were not nearly as plentiful as they used to be, and even the number of vendors was down from last year. Up past the north beer tent, there was barely anything to see or do. I missed a lot of the familiar food vendors and I hope the Fringe undoes whatever they did this year to make them go away.

The weather this year was also the pits. Half the festival was alternating super sunny and crappy rainy, and the second half was grey and threatening rain all the time. And in the middle, we had the air quality warning due to the B.C. forest fires. That was not good for the voice, let me tell you. We nearly had to cancel a couple shows.

But the best part about Fringe is that it's where I met my girlfriend. Yes, this little ninja is no longer single, but you'll have to wait for the next update to hear more about that. I promise it won't take a month to post.

Fringe 2010

2010-08-13T13:59:00.001-07:00

Blarg. So busy.

The 2010 Fringe Festival is upon us, and Apocalypse Kow has just had its first show. Low energy, and we're still working out the kinks of that particular stage, but it's going to be awesome. Tonight's show is on the other stage, so we should be getting a significantly larger crowd. Logistically, we're in really good shape, and I don't think we've forgotten anything on our various lists. And it's raining right now, so if you'r coming to our show tonight, bring an umbrella. And money. And sugar. And power. And women.

Our schedule is as follows:

Friday, August 13, 7:15 pm – 8:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)

Sunday, August 15, 3:15 pm – 4:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Sunday, August 15, 9:15 pm – 10:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)

Monday, August 16, 4:15 pm – 5:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Monday, August 16, 10:15 pm – 11:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)

Tuesday, August 17, 12:15 pm – 1:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Tuesday, August 17, 5:15 pm – 6:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)

Wednesday, August 18, 1:15 pm – 2:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Wednesday, August 18, 6:15 pm – 7:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)

Thursday, August 19, 2:15 pm – 3:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Thursday, August 19, 7:15 pm – 8:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)

Friday, August 20, 3:15 pm – 4:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Friday, August 20, 8:15 pm – 9:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)

Saturday, August 21, 4:15 pm – 5:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Saturday, August 21, 9:15 pm – 10:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)

Sunday, August 22, 5:15 pm – 6:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)

July Update: Work

2010-07-27T00:00:00.068-07:00

Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it? So much for my intention of posting more regularly. Ah well, I've been using Facebook and Twitter a lot more these days, and I've been writing a lot more on the BioWare forums. And both of you who read this blog anyway probably also follow me on one of those other places.

A bit of an update on work: Dragon Age 2 has been announced to really mixed reactions on the BioWare Social Network, but not surprisingly, rave reviews everywhere else. We got an awesome preview in Game Informer magazine, and we just came back from a simply phenomenal showing at San Diego Comic-Con. Dragon Age 2 is going to be a great game, folks. Regardless of whether you're a die-hard BioWare fan, new to BioWare RPGs, or a hard-core old-school RPG player, we want Dragon Age 2 to wow them all. For die-hard BioWare fans, we've kept a lot of what people enjoyed about Dragon Age: Origins: captivating story, dynamic characters, tough choices, and a bunch of darkspawn to plow through. For the BioWare newbies, we hope they'll discover a whole new world to explore in the Dragon Age setting, and become converts to our style of RPG. And for the old-school RPG-ists, I hope they take a little risk and follow us in this new adventure in the war-torn, darkspawn-filled Thedas.

I've been moved to a new room full of term testers. Some of them are working on DA2, some on other projects. They're good people, like most of our term testers, and it makes me sad that we can't keep them around indefinitely. Well, they probably wouldn't want to stay on indefinitely, but they are doing a lot of good work for us. Some of them are taking a lot of initiative and stepping up really well, hoping for a shot at any new positions that open up, and good on 'em, I say.

There's a lot of competition for new positions, and sometimes, I can see how disappointed some people are when they don't get shortlisted. Some feel that this is their one and only chance at videogame developer stardom, some are young and just at the start of their working lives, and some are just hoping to get a foot in the door so they can eventually move to a different department, like art or writing. I just hope we can open up new positions more often.

A lot of folks have wondered how we're doing now that we've been under EA's umbrella for a while, and I have no response but to say that we're doing okay. There's been no Borg-ification of our company, no trickle-down of zombieness, and we're not drinking any kind of Kool-Aid. What we are doing is enjoying this new sense of security and support we have. Sure, some things take getting used to--going from independent developer to subsidiary of one of the largest software publishers in the world is not without its changes--but I think any adverse effects are felt more because of the last two years of global financial uncertainty than anything EA might be or do. All you have to do is look at who's running what, what our group's been doing, and EA's outlook to see that we're doing okay. At the very least, I'm still employed and enjoying what I do.

Next update: Apocalypse Kow.

Corporate laziness

2010-06-06T15:20:00.000-07:00

After a late May blizzard, which totally sucks donkey pancreas, the weather's now nice enough for short shorts and spaghetti straps, mopeds and motorcycles. I haven't had much to talk about lately because of the end of lacrosse season and things just trucking along as normal. I'm not terribly interested in discussing the oil spill in the Gulf or the recent deaths of Gary Coleman, Dennis Hopper and Rue McClanahan. Not yet, anyway.

It's too early to talk about the Fringe Festival or Pure Speculation Festival, and work and Apocalypse Kow are proceeding apace. What I would like to talk about today, however, is communication and customer service. I believe in the power of the consumer to get a good product at a fair price. The customer works hard for his money and has a reasonable expectation that what he buys isn't a lemon, and that even if it does somehow break or not work as advertised, he can get some kind of satisfaction from the retailer/manufacturer/whoever. But I also don't believe that "the customer is always right." Human nature is all about getting the most benefit for the least expenditure of money, work, or sacrifice. Customers also aren't always aware of how business works, what's involved in producing the goods or services they enjoy, or of how whiny and needy they sound sometimes. It's a balancing act predicated on the goodwill and sincere intentions of both sides of the equation.

The last couple of weeks have seen giant dents being put on my credit cards over and over. For some reason, the little ninja came into spring with his Visa and Mastercard burning holes in his wallet. To prevent my pants from going up in flames, I've had to pull out those cards and purchase things.

What have I bought? For one thing, Jones Soda was selling D&D-themed bottles for their soda. With names like Bigby's Crushing Thirst Destroyer, Potion of Healing and Illithid Brain Juice, they're just fancy packaging for their regular sodas like grape, green apple, and root beer. I'm on a journey of soft drink discovery, which I'll talk about more in the coming summer months.

I've also made major purchases from my usual anime retailer and Amazon. The anime was on sale, and I really needed to get the complete series of JAG. Seriously. Needed. I am a JAGhead, or JAGphile, or JAGger, or whatever fans of JAG are called. Oh, right, old men. It was a pretty good deal, I thought. I could get all 10 seasons for $210, or the first 9 seasons for $285, or the first 7 seasons for $220. I think i got the best deal by buying the whole package.

I also purchased some Dragon Age themed letter openers in the shape of swords from the game. There's a Grey Warden's sword and a darkspawn greatsword. Both are pretty awesome, and it's this package which relates to my communication and customer service story.

The matter's been resolved, so I don't want to badmouth any specific company, so I'll refer to the major players as the Company, the Sister Company, and Shipping Company. I purchased the items from the Company a few weeks ago and was patiently waiting. I wasn't in a hurry to receive them, and they were just something fun and neat to buy, not anything essential by any means. So I was a little surprised when it showed up suddenly one day while I was at work. I got a note from one of my roomies that mentioned the failed delivery, some kind of fee attached to it, and Sister Company's name.

Weird, I thought, I don't remember buying anything from Sister Company, and at this point, I didn't even know the two were related. This must be my purchase from the Company, I figured, so I called the Shipping Company to figure out where it had gone after they couldn't complete the delivery at my house. Was it at the warehouse where I'd once before had to go for a package? Was it sent to one of the other stores? Was it still in the truck and would they try to deliver it again? They couldn't give me any answers, since I didn't have a tracking number and that' the only way they can locate a package. Well, that's true, but if I had a tracking number, I could have tracked the package myself on their website. The driver--a newer one, they eventually told me--left me with no information I could use to find the package.

So I emailed the Company to ask for a tracking number. "What are you talking about?" came the reply (I'm paraphrasing for comedic effect here), "your order hasn't been shipped yet." Whaaa? I told them about the package I'd received from Sister Company. After I sent that message, I checked on both the Company's and Sister Company's websites. Sure enough, they occupied the same business address. That's easy, I thought, if you're sharing an office or inventory, a simple mistake could have had Sister Company send something out that should have been sent under the Company's name. The Company came back to me, asking me to investigate this. I can't, I told them, because I don't have a tracking number, so I have no way to find it!

Then I got an email from Sister Company. Obviously they're in touch with one another, they're in the same office! So I told them the same story and suggested that, maybe (and please stop me if I'm going to fast for you here, Sister Company) you could check your shipping logs to see what your company has sent out, to whom, and when. You know, like companies do when they want to find what they've shipped! Finally, on Tuesday, fully five days after the initial delivery attempt and after a couple days of trading emails and phone calls with three different business entities, I get a tracking number from the Company. Bingo!

I look it up on the Shipping Company's website and lo and behold, there it is! Came into the country via Winnipeg, okay, shipped to Edmonton, okay, attempted delivery, okay, will try a couple more times, that's fine... what the heck? Receiver will pick up the item from the warehouse within 5 days??? That's today! Aw HELLZ NO! I called the SHipping Company and told them that I was going to pick the darn thing up and please don't send it out. They gave me a few days' extension, which was all right, but I was planning on picking it up Tuesday night or Wenesday morning, depending on the size of the box. Midnight's storage bin is only so big. So I head to the east side, a side of the city that is largely foreign to me, and after getting lost a couple times--this is the part of the city that mysteriously loses 11 blocks--I get to a block near the Shipping Company, but can't actually find it. No signs, the place is a deserted industrial section, and there are unusual twists and turns so I'm not sure where to turn.

Success! A truck belonging to the Shipper. I'll just follow it into this complex here and when it stops, ask the driver where the depot is. It turns out, the truck was returning to the depot. "See that blue truck right there? That's the door," the driver tells me. I'm awesome. Package received, paid for, signed for, and everything's all good. I take it hgome and immediately open it.

Good job, Company. You've packed four small items and left them loose without any packing material or filler, no padding, and didn't even secure the items. The boxes had opened up, with the items loose. Thankfully, there was no damage, but that's just laziness. Seriously, Company? You're selling ostensibly collector's items without securing the boxes with a rubber band to keep them closed, and no popcorn, newspaper, styrofoam, or even shredded paper to keep them from getting knocked around in transit?

I don't think I'll be ordering from this company again. The only reason I did this time was that ther was special pricing on them if you got the set. Now that I've seen the way they operate, I'm not confident they know what they're doing. From the miscommunication to the weirdness of having two companies at the same address to one hand not knowing what a different finger on that same hand is doing to the lack of tracking number, it's not a huge hassle and it was resolved to my satisfaction, but I just don't care for that kind of laziness. Yes, I acknowledge that Shipping Company was partly at fault for the delivery driver not providing me with any information, but that was just icing on the shit cake.

But that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Back to my tasty cold beverage and enjoying the rest of this wonderful day.

Rush vs. Roughnecks: division semi-final

2010-05-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

The Edmonton Rush have played a great season this year, and Coach Keenen has done exactly what he'd promised: fill in the holes in our defense and make us a winning team. The one really is the result of the other, and this year, the Edmonton Rush made the playoffs for the first time in franchise history.

Last Saturday, they played Calgary at the Pengrowth Saddledome for the division semi-final. There was a 3-way tie for first place, and due to how the tie-breaker games went, Calgary ended up in 2nd and Edmonton in 3rd. That meant Calgary would host. My buddy Gibble and I were excited, and he proposed that we make a road trip down to Calgary to watch the game in person. I was very much into that, as I hadn't gone out of town for a sporting event before, nor had I ever been "the opposing team" before, so this would be an adventure.

Earlier in the season, we'd met some Calgary Roughnecks fans who came up for an Edmonton-Calgary game and sat a row ahead of us. They were so much fun and joked around with the surrounding Edmonton fans in such a humble, fun, self-effacing manner that I wanted to keep in touch with them. Well, that friendship paid off and we met up with them when we got to Calgary.

What a group: an accountant, a guy studying international relations, an engineer, and a student of human resources. And what did we have going down there? A videogame tester and a truck parts guy. And all of us brought together by a common interest: lacrosse.

Everyone down in Calgary that we met was cool. The joking was good-natured and fun, and none of it was personal. Even the guy scanning my ticket comforted me over our impending loss, and directed me to guest services when I jokingly asked him where I could get some tissues or a hanky. What a great experience. All sports rivalries should be that much fun. For a sport as underexposed as lacrosse, and for a built-in rivalry like Edmonton-Calgary, healthy competition between teams and fans can only grow both franchises. And who knows? If we built up the teams into two great western Canadian powerhouses, what's to stop the NLL from giving a franchise to, say, Vancouver, who could have a similar rivalry with the nearby Washington Stealth?

Gibble and I were surrounded on all sides by Roughnecks fans in their red and black, many with the white hard hats of the Roughnecks logo. We endured the family-friendly boos and taunts with good humour, and looked forward to an NLL game not in Edmonton. Boy, were we impressed.

The Saddledome is a really nice building, first of all, and their concession had freshly-squeezed lemonade, the kind that I lived off off at the Fringe these last couple of years. And it cost less than a big pop would be at Rexall! Okay, Calgary, if you're trying to impress me as a sports fan, you're off to a good start. Next, the announcer announced the game would start in five minutes, and encouraged fans to get out onto the concourse to get people into their seats. All right, a fun, interactive announcer. That should be a great time, since NLL lacrosse is such an interactive sport, with the announcer and fans joining together to cheer on the home team.

Technically speaking, the Saddledome is much more impressive than Rexall. There's more flexibility in the lighting, the light is much warmer at the Saddledome, and the Jumbotron is enormous and fancy and bright! Not just that, but when the house lights need to go down, the lights aren't turned off (which would necessitate a much longer start-up time when the lights need to be turned on again), but shuttered by folding panels on each instrument. That way, when you need house lights again, you unshutter them and bang! you're lit.

Game time hits, and after the opening formalities, the announcer really gets into the game as much as the fans do. The game is intense, and there's a lot of back-and-forth. Our goaltender, Matt Disher, is more on fire than if he'd just won an international napalm-eating contest on the Sun. Shot after shot is blocked blocked blocked--off the body, five-hole denied, stick save here, shoulder block there, but mostly on the five-hole. It seemed like 90% of the Roughnecks shots went centre and low. Disher butterflied a lot!

But that announcer kept riling the crowd, and Calgary's got some established chants and call-and-response bits that I wish Edmonton had. Whenever a Rush guy gets a penalty and goes into the box, the announcer yells "Hey, number so-and-so, why don't you get in, sit down, and..." The crowd finished with "SHUT UP!" Exactly something a rival team should say, right? It's not mean, it's not personal, it's just aggressive sportsmanship. Similarly, when the Rush scored, the announcer asked, "Who scored?" to which the crowd responded, "Who cares?" That's a great way to unify a fanbase and give them, adults and kids alike, a way to demonstrate their support and demoralize a visiting team, sapping them of their energy. it's a fast-moving game, and these announcer bits keep the fans engaged.

The Rush played really well, despite Calgary's really aggressive, sometimes violent, stick checking and work along the boards, but the Rush eked out a pretty good 4-goal lead in the 3rd quarter. And man, was it a good game on both sides! Calgary was the defending champion, and Edmonton was the underdog who'd made it to the playoffs for the first time. The Rush had already exceeded our expectations, and even if they'd lost, I would have been so proud to be a Rush fan just to see them get into the playoffs. But I still would like them to win, of course!

In the closing seconds of the 3rd quarter, Calgary comes back with a big goal. That's okay, right? Edmonton still has a 3-goal lead which is okay. In the opening minute of the 4th, Calgary comes in with two spectacular goals! Edmonton's lead is down to 1. Leave it to our power play line to kick some ass with 3 goals for 3 attempts on the night. And the third of these is what kicks our team back into high gear. We restrict Calgary to one more goal and score two more. The score is 10-7 for the Rush with just under 5 minutes left in the game. The crowd is going crazy with each new change of possession, and Edmonton is running down the clock now, not trying anything.

The clock ticks down. One minute left in the game and Edmonton still has that 3-goal lead. It looks like we can't lose but we can't lose focus now. Three goals can be scored in under a minute. So what does the Rush do? While "running down the clock" in Calgary's end, Corey Small (45) finds an opening in the Roughnecks defense and strolls on in for a goal at 14:19 of the 4th quarter.

That did it. The Rush, on their first time out tot he playoffs, won the division semi-final against the defending champions in enemy territory. It was a huge game, but the Roughnecks owner wasn't too happy about being scheduled on the same day as the Calgary Hitmen playoff game, which was that night, and on the same weekend as a big concert. Because of the scheduling, our Calgary hosts told us, there were likely less than 7500 in the crowd, and that included the more than two busloads of Edmonton Rush fans (and any others who drove) that made the trip.

One of the highlights of the game was having someone other than Gibble to talk shop with. Looking up at our friends, who were sitting a few rows back of us, to either gloat over a Rush goal or frown at a Roughnecks goal, was a sporting experience I didn't think I'd get to have. Even the people I bring to the game are there for the new experience; they're not really fans. Another highlight was the camaraderie that I felt with not just Gibble, but with the Roughnecks fans all around us. We really were all coming together for a titanic clash between two ancient gods. The Battle of Alberta brought us together, but regardless of who won, we as a province succeeded in advancing a team to the division final, and quite possibly, the Champion's Cup.

Our hosts were great, and we didn't have to pay for a single thing while we were there, even though I offered to buy a round to console the "losers." They helped us find a gas station nearby, and then told us how to get back onto the QE2 to get home. Next time they come to Edmonton, though, payback's gonna be a bitch. i'm glad I decided to bring along some BioWare games I had gathering dust, otherwise it would have been very one-sided.

Good game, Calgary!

Next: Rush vs. Stealth: division final.

NLL Lacrosse 2010 (Xbox360): A review

2010-04-28T22:38:00.000-07:00

In other lacrosse news, the National Lacrosse League and Reebok have come out with a lacrosse video game, NLL Lacrosse 2010 for the Xbox360. Jago downloaded the demo and I was really excited to see what developer Triple B Games and publisher Crosse Studio could do. The screenshots surrounding the game were uninspiring and plain, but it's a tiny game made for a tiny market, so I would be willing to sacrifice a little bit of pretty for the sake of good gameplay.

Unfortunately, it is not good gameplay. The fidelity of the graphics is very poor, and I often didn't know where the ball was. There are very few audio cues to let the player know when he's done something, and the commentator lines are about a second behind the play, and the lines are few and far between to begin with. There's even music playing, like there is in every sports game these days, only these artists are indie artists with MySpace pages and it sounded like they weren't too choosy over which tracks made the final cut.

Yes, the game is only a $5 download, but unfortunately for the NLL, my $5 would be better spent on a mocha frappuccino from Starbucks. At least then, I wouldn't be blinded by the solid green sheet that is the playing field, the ridiculously bouncy glass and boards, and the singular camera angle which has the player moving away from the camera no matter which quarter he's playing. Running plays feels awkward and slow, since everyone's running towards the net when the player is on offense, and any forward pass forces the receiver to stop and turn to catch the ball before turning around again to run.

The AI is rather rudimentary and the computer opponent has no problems passing way back to the centre line or even back to the goalie for absolutely no reason. And there are still rather severe bugs in the game. On the opponent's first shot on net, Jago and I both saw the ball bounce off the goalie. The announcers said the goalie saved it, and a couple of replays showed the ball bounce off the goalie's chest. And yet, that was counted as a goal.

Hits and checks suffer from not having any audio cues to tell the player he's done something. There simply aren't enough animations in the game to make NLL Lacrosse 2010 feel like a real lacrosse games. Where's the line changes? Where's the set ups? Where's the ability to deke around the D and drive towards the net? None of that seemed possible, since all the players are programmed to go for the ball and pass it around a few times. And it plays soooooo slooooooowly, damn it. Indoor box lacrosse is supposed to be a way faster game than field lacrosse.

This developer is the same one that did College Lacrosse 2010, apparently a rather successful game with 26,000 purchases over 100,000 downloads of its demo. That's pretty good for such a niche sport and even nicher sports videogame market. The one screenshot I saw of that game made me wonder why NLL Lacrosse 2010 didn't look like that. The field had more than one colour to it, which really did a lot to break up the visual monotony. And the gameplay video for College makes the game look almost fun! It just didn't seem to have scaled well when shrunk down to indoor box lacrosse proportions.

It breaks my heart to write this review because I want the NLL to do well with this game. I want this game to do well so that we might see bigger and better lacrosse videogames in the future. But as much as I respect indie developers and the scale they work on, I feel really dirty about wanting such a plain, bare-bones pile of tepid mashed turnips to succeed. I may be biased by working for a AAA developer, making games with multimillion dollar budgets, but I have also seen indy games and low-budget games look beautiful and play wonderfully.

Pros:
- NLL licensed game, which includes the Edmonton Rush!
- passing mechanic which shows ball trajectory

Cons:
- rudimentary, low-res graphics
- audio design is almost nonexistent
- single camera angle always has player moving away into the distance
- nowhere near enough player animations
- flat, visually unappealing field
- dull, uninspired AI

Some folks may find it worth their five bucks, and I really, really, really wanted it to be worth mine, but it just isn't. My standards, unfortunately, are way too high for NLL Lacrosse 2010. If you've played it and enjoy it, please comment and put me in my place. I would really like to be proven wrong about this game!

Rush 14, Roughnecks 15 (OT)

2010-04-28T22:29:00.002-07:00

All right, let's try Arial at normal size and see if it makes the updates more readable. I suppose that's the down side to having few readers (hi, mom!)--no one to tell you when the text is too small.

Okay, so this game was really a couple of weeks ago, but I didn't want to jinx anything by posting the update, only to have my hopes dashed when an Edmonton team inevitably chokes and fails. Surprisingly, the Edmonton Rush has done really well for itself, and Coach Keenen has done what this team could never do before: head to the playoffs.

Coming down to the wire, there was a last-minute jostle for placement in the division, which would determine who gets to host the playoff game (NLL playoffs are single-elimination). If Edmonton placed first or second, they would host their game at Rexall. That did not happen, unfortunately, as both Calgary and Washington finished very strongly in their last couple of games.

It does mean, however, that we get a Battle of Alberta playoff game, even if it is being hosted by Calgary. So, for the first time in my 35 years of life, this little ninja is going to a different city to view a sporting event! Look out, Calgary, here comes the Worst Lacrosse Fan Ever!

I'll be heading down with my partner in lacrosse crime, Gibble, and it's going to be awesome. We'll likely meet up with some new friends who we met at one of the Battles of Alberta in Edmonton. They were the Roughnecks fans sitting right in front of us, and they were really cool, so we've kept in touch.

Can't wait till Saturday! I'll try to live Tweet the game, so keep an eye on @worstninjaever and #edmontonrush. Maybe I'll do #lacrosse to give it more exposure.

EAVB_VQIFARMCAW

Why does the McMini suck?

2010-04-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, Mr. Ninja, tell us, please: why does the new McDonald's McMini suck? The commercial advertisements are all very complimentary.

Gather 'round, children, and let Old Man Ninja tell you a story. It begins one day when I went to my local McDonald's restaurant for some lunch. I had brought the Jago along, for some reason. Maybe we were visiting our friendly local comics shop, Happy Harbor Comics v3. Maybe we were skateboarding. Maybe we had just jumped in from somewhere (I prefer HALO jumps, the Jago prefers trambampolines). Anyway, we had lunch at McDonald's, that's the point. Come on, keep up.

I decided to try the new McMini that I'd heard very little about. Heck, I'd seen the "TRY THE NEW MCMINI" sign long before I saw any of the commercials on television. All I knew was that it came in two different flavours, neither of which seemed particularly appetizing. They were both too small and too big--too small for a meal, too large to be a light snack. I had them with a regular burger of some sort. Heck, if I hated the McMini, lunch wouldn't be a total loss!

The McMini is built with only three ingredients: the bun, the meat, and the sauce. That's it, no fuss, no muss. But it's hard to see how so few ingredients can combine to make a sandwich so unappealing and so untasty. Let's go step by step to see just where this train wreck of a sammich gets wrecked. For this, they don't bring back the McRib. I tell you, there's no Santa Jesus Bunny God if there's no McRib.

The bun is a dry, uninspiring piece of baguette. It was flavourless and too hard for that kind of sammich. It reminded me of a Tim Horton's sammich, and I didn't like the Tim Horton's sammich. I may have to re-try one since they started advertising a NEW SOFTER BREAD! But I digress. Tasteless bread, yes.

But forget about the bread, you say. It's the chicken that makes the sammich. Sure, I love the McChicken even though it's some kinda chicken-flavoured wombat meat. I even like the fancier chicken sammiches. Okay, I don't hate them, but I never order them because I always gots me a hankering for wombat. The chicken wasn't even as spiced and flavoured and chickened-up as the McChicken patty. It wasn't even as salted up as the junior chicken sammich. What it was, was another uninspiring, tasteless piece of something distinctly non-wombat.

But isn't the sauce supposed to provide all the flavour? Sure, let's go with that. There are two different sauces, a pesto and a sweet Thai. Somehow, the bun and the chicken are composed of an anti-sauce shell that make them impervious to sauce absorption. What little sauce there was on the sammich didn't make the rest of the sammich any tastier, especially the pesto. Why the heck would you put a subtle sauce on a bland non-wombat blandwich? At least the sweet Thai sauce was tasty in and of itself. It just didn't make the rest of its sammich any tastier.

They're tiny and cheap, so I suppose they can be forgiven, but at least one little ninja doesn't think they're any good at all. Get me a McRib, damn it!

...leads to a very mundane Monday

2010-04-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

Remember that date I went on yesterday? Well, apparently, despite all the fun and laughs and kind words we shared, I am now considered a rather unrepentant disrespecter of women due to my use of the word "skank" to describe the vapid hoes who get plastered at bars every weekend that I don't wish to get involved with.

Seriously, that appears to be the deal-breaker here. "Skank." From a Comp. Lit. and Women's Studies student, no less. Either that or I refused to sleep with her and said good night too early. Maybe I should have slept with her like she wanted me to, but I have a pretty ironclad rule to never sleep with a girl on the first date. It's stupid, I know, considering I keep complaining about women not being into me, but it's kept me from being broken this long. At least this way, I know women aren't using me for sex.

And thus ends the latest unfortunate chapter in one insignificant ninja's unfortunate love life. We'll try again later.

A crazy weekend

2010-04-26T00:06:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the Calgary Comics and Entertainment Expo, kind of like the grown up version of our very own Pure Speculation. A bunch of people I knew were going, but I couldn't justify the time or the expense at the moment. Besides, I just had a vacation a couple weeks ago. And I'm very glad I didn't go, because if I did, this entire weekend would have turned out very differently!

1. Dinner and a movie
My friends, the Bombs (Mr. Scotty and the soon-to-be-Mrs. Nezbitt), invited me to their new place for a homemade pasketti dinner. It was delicious, and we had a great time with food, video games, and the internets. After that, we headed to South Common for a showing of Clash of the Titans, a thoroughly forgettable remake with no depth whatsoever. For me, it doesn't even make summer blockbuster status due to the lack of depth and any kind of sincerity or emotion. Creature design was the best part of that movie, especially Medusa. Simply gorgeous, almost sexily so. I'll post an actual review if I can get off my ass long enough to catch you all up on recent goings on with the Edmonton Rush.

2. Karaoke
A new community I'd joined was planning a karaoke night for new and old members alike. Now, it's been years--literally years--since I've been "the new guy" with any large group, so I was a little hesitant about going. But then I was messaged by a couple of people I actually knew within the group, and I was convinced. And boy, am I glad I did. I met lots of cool people and sang a couple of great songs. One was Radiohead's "Fake Plastic Trees," which I don't normally do at karaoke (probably should have done "Creep" to show off my falsetto), and the other was my old standby, Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" which went over like gangbusters. I'm not afraid to make a fool of myself, and that song just begs to be danced to with Rick Astley's little 1980s shimmy-dance. There are some surprisingly good singers in that group, and they're not even artsy people!

3. Dim sum
I've been wanting to go to dim sum with my co-workers for a while, but I never make the plans and I didn't even have a plan until late Friday afternoon. Thankfully, we still have 7 people there (including the aforementioned Scotty and Nezbitt, not co-workers) and we ate a lot of food. We're so doing that again soon.

4. Blind date
I'm not ashamed to admit I'm on a dating website. A few of them, actually, since I often don't get any contacts or messages for weeks, sometimes months at a time. Lately, however, I've been making a concerted effort to message those profiles I find interesting, taking that risk. In the last week or so, it's paid off pretty well. I've been chatting with a girl from Victoria, and both of us are disappointed that the other lives so very far away, and just today I met up with another girl who's local. We hit it off pretty well, discovered we have a lot in common despite the age difference (which I generally don't care much about), and there was much snuggling done!

I don't know what it is about my roommate situation, but whenever they're around, I feel like a completely different person than when they're not around. Don't get me wrong; I love hanging out with my roomies. We watch TV together, we play games together, and we're cool with each other. But sometimes, I wish we were apart more. Having the place to myself this entire weekend, I was very relaxed, felt no stress about anything at all, and got out of the house a lot! Ah well, I guess I still have a lot more to learn about myself, such as my seeming ability to compose an update to this blog in less than 2 hours. Who knew?

Upcoming updates: Edmonton Rush playoff game in Calgary, Ninja = opera virgin, old man Ninja, more Dracula's Secret Underwater Fortress, Twittering porn stars, and adventuring with Midnight.

Too much think, not enough hands

2010-04-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

As a creative person, naturally I think of new and fun stuff all the time. As a lover of pop culture, a geek, and someone who enjoys making people smile and laugh, I consider funny stuff throughout my day: a funny expression here, a well-timed deadpan there, a witty punchline to cap a rousing game of verbal one-upsmanship, a scathing, manly insult to a dear friend, intimating a dude likes other dudes, implying some guy's mother is sexually promiscuous, insulting a person with vastly different values or attitudes than me, belittling someone who deserves it to make myself feel superior. This is manly humour, this is ninjaly laughs.

But I would also like to leave some kind of legacy of laughter and joy for those to come after me. Many of my friends have kids, and I can't always be as young and spry as I am today, nor always as funny or quick with the one-liners or memory. Lately, I've been coming up with show ideas. Nothing huge, though I often my ideas overstep my ability to realize any of them.

The first show is something I've already begun work on with Mr. Anonymous, a gentleman who shares my sense of humour and light-heartedness. He's naturally limited by his job and time with his lovely wife and two children, who will grow up to be just like him: Spider-Man-obsessed, comedy-mimicking, laugh-tracking babyfaces. In short, they will be geeks, and well-loved geeks, at that. I'm sure his oldest has already memorized "Who's on First?" and "Good grief, the comedian's a bear!"

Anyway, he and I (Mr. Anonymous, that is, not the little Anonymousketeers) have been outlining episodes for the first, hopefully of more than one, season of a puppet-based show. Dracula's Secret Underwater Fortress. I'm sure I've mentioned it here before, since it's something I'm rather proud of and it seems to be coming along well. the premise, in case I haven't mentioned it or both my regular readers (hi, Ninjamom and Ninjuncle Frankie) are too lazy to search the blog archives, which I shall call the Blarchives (mmm chives....), the premise is this:

Dracula wakes up to find himself in an underwater facility for some unknown reason. After some brief exploration, he finds that the facility is extensive and very mysterious, kinda like the island in Lost, a show I don't like. The only exit is really close by, but to get to it, he must first go through the chapel, which he cannot do for obvious reason. So the first season is all about our version of Dracula--a friendly, amenable sort who lives a mundane life just like everyone else, full of fruit smoothies, reading the paper, and going kite-flying with his little buddy Renfield--trying to escape this underwater fortress. Along the way, he meets some strange characters and discovers some strange rooms and situations. There's tension, there's fun characters, there's laughs, and of course, who could dislike a puppet Dracula? Anyone see Forgetting Sarah Marshall? There's a puppet Dracula in that film, and I dare you to dislike him, especially when he starts singing! Our Dracula won't sing (probably, but no promises), but he will have a cheesy accent somewhere between Transylvanian, Spanish, and Italian.

We're still in the concepting and design stage on this project, and likely won't see full production for another year. That gives us time to plan, learn to work with puppets, build, and write the darn thing. If this baby works out, we've already got a second "season" that we can easily link to and build towards. I just need more hands.

* * *

Dracula's Secret Underwater Fortress is just one of many projects I'm working on. Apocalypse Kow is still very important to me, and it looks like a very exciting year for us, now that we've finally found our fifth member (more on that later). And I'm still on the organizing committee for Pure Speculation, Edmonton's premier sci-fi festival. This year, we've got Tanya Huff coming, and possibly Robert J. Sawyer of Flash Forward fame! All this just adds to the list of things I should be working on instead of, oh, I dunno, sleeping, which is one reason I don't sleep very much, or very well. There's just way too much to think about, and way too much I want to do.

Like this idea that popped into my head this very evening. Now, I'm new to the podcasting arena, having only recently exposed myself to great 'casts like the best of the Garner Andrews Show and one of Jago's favourites, Comedy Deathray, but it seems a great new venue for performing. And you know me: attention whore. So I thought about the different kinds of podcasts there were out there and which I might want to be involved in. I'm not really an expert on anything, so that's out, and I don't do nearly as much research or keep up on current events in my fandoms as some folks I know, and I'm not a terribly prolific actor. But I am ridiculous, and I love making a fool of myself in front of an audience, and I like the ridiculousness of professional wrestling, and I am a decent character actor... So why not do some kind of sketch-based newscast from the point of view of horrendously over-the-top professional wrestling characters?

It's a half-formed idea in my head that I (and my cohorts, all current/former player/writers in the New Alberta Pro Wrestling e-federation) would use some of the preposterous characters we've created and see current events and news as they would in this fantasy world where wrestling is real and these people live their gimmicks. Regular appearances by the man-giant Lumberjesus, the Second Cutting--half-woodcutter, half-messiah, all badass--and Opera Condor, the well-spoken spectacularly-plumed and -voiced luchador. Or one of the many variations of Wrestlotron, the giant wrestling robot who only wants love. There are so many fictitious professional wrestlers in these fictitious wrestling promotions that there'd be no shortage of suitable characters to present to a listening public.

Yeah, I'm a dork, and yeah, I like wrestling, but I also like making you laugh, so suck it, jerkface! I'm going to start outlining this thing. Stoopid vacation giving me so much time to think about things. And stuff.

Rush 10, Mammoth 14

2010-04-14T14:40:00.001-07:00

It was a sad night in Rexall Place as we watched our Edmonton Rush fall beneath the Colorado Mammoth 14-10. IT was a fast-moving game that didn't see very many stoppages due to penalties, and it wasn't a one-sided game at all. But we still lost, and that's the most frustrating part. Even after all of Coach Keenen's changes, we can still have an off night, and other teams can still have an awesome game.

It didn't hurt that, standing in goal for Colorado was a former Rush player, Chris Levis. And it didn't help that Levis was really solid in net that night. But for whatever reason, Edmonton just didn't have the drive, the hunger, the... whatever to score more goals. And we tried, oh how we tried. 53 shots on Levis. 53! Compared to the 40 that Colorado got past our defence, that's downright prolific! Unfortunately, many of those shots went to the centre mass. Still an improvement over all the shots that go wide, but not at all good enough to get the goals.

Surprisingly, this game went over 5 minutes without a goal, but true to form, the Rush let the visiting team get the first one. This night, they were prepared and put a response into the next not 30 seconds later. We were even ahead by one shortly thereafter, before Colorado closed out the 1st quarter 4-2, with three of those 4 goals scored by Brian Langtry. Our #45, Corey Small, who's been having a great season, scored both of our 1st quarter goals.

Colorado continued to dominate the 2nd quarter, with Jamie Shewchuk coming in for three helpers while Langtry continued to rack up points, another goal and assist. On the Edmonton side, Ryan Ward came out of the 2nd quarter with 1 power play goal and 1 assist, and Secore got a couple of assists in there as well, but we simply couldn't get many balls past Levis. It wasn't even a matter of getting past the Colorado defence, since the number of shots we took clearly indicate that Levis was doing most of the work himself, but many of our shots were aimed more towards the centre of the goal, where the bulk of the goaltender is, rather than coming in with some fancy ball-handling to put the ball into the corners. It shouldn't have been that difficult. Colorado did enough of it to warrant Edmonton switching up their goalies a couple times. We started Atherton, but it doesn't look like he can start a game and see it through; rather, he's a really good backup goalie. We just need Disher to buckle down and be more consistent in net.

The second half was more of the same, as Colorado kept our goals to a minimum while scoring more of their own. It was obvious in the 4th that we weren't going to win the game, but surprisingly, it was still enjoyable to watch. The game moved very quickly, and as I mentioned earlier, there weren't the usual slate of controversial penalties being called on Edmonton. It was just good, clean, sometimes a little dirty, enjoyable lacrosse. I attended the game with Mrs. Flop, who had a great time, and I'm really looking forward to whatever playoff games are available.

It just wasn't our night against Colorado. Let's just hope that the Rush get their heads back on right when they face Calgary this Friday in our final home game. We got some Calgary fans coming up, and Gibble and I really enjoyed chatting with them the last time Calgary came up.

Want to know more about lacrosse and the Rush? There's still time to get tickets for Friday's game against Calgary, and for the playoffs! Hope to see you there!
Edmonton Rush Website
National Lacrosse League

Happy 5th anniversary, blog!

2010-04-10T13:33:00.001-07:00

I wanted to wish both of the readers of my blog a happy 5th anniversary. Thank you all for reading and keeping up with the life of this one little ninja, and here's to 5 more years of lacrosse, geekiness, gimpiness, and general bitching and whinging. Let's hope I can keep up.

Including this post, this blog has been updated, on average, every 5.8 days. That's higher than I'd like, so please don't be afraid to comment on whatever you'd like. I really enjoy feedback.

Cheers!

Rush 14, Stealth 13 (OT)

2010-04-03T12:10:00.082-07:00

Post actually created on April10, but backdated to April 3 because I'm lazy.

Another home game, another home win for the Edmonton Rush. It was a good crowd at Rexall Place. News of our home team's successes at home and away have reached more people, and those people want to come see what all the fuss is about. It's also about supporting a team that's heading to its league's championships and, potentially, winning it. The Rush look great this year, aside from some inconsistent gameplay and goaltending, but overall, Coach Keenen has put together a great combination of players and abilities. Many of our team's weaknesses from years past have been fixed, and we've gotten a lot more assertive on both offence and defence, driving harder for the net and taking more shots. It's science, people!

An overtime win is something I don't remember seeing from the team in a home game, but then, the team is playing so differently this year compared to earlier in their history that it's like watching a new team, delightfully so. Even though we don't win every game, we play smarter, run faster, and for the most part score more than ever before! And unlike in previous years, we are always there for the full 60 minutes.

One thing the Rush really have to do is stop giving up that first goal to the visiting team. Usually that goal comes in the first couple of minutes and it's a real downer for that crowd. It makes the Rush have to work that much harder to regain that crowd's approval, since we've now gotten used to being disappointed in the first few minutes of the game. It doesn't help that that goal comes off the first or second shot of the game.

The power play in this game was really intense, with both teams scoring goals on all of their power play opportunities in the first quarter. The Stealth would complete the game with 4/5 on the power play while the Rush ended the night 3/3.

The first half was definitely the more intense, with the score tied at 10 by halftime. Ryan Ward had 4 assists by the half, and Andy Secore would end the night with 1 goal and 5 assist, with all but one assist coming in the first half. On the visiting side, Washington's #42, Lewis Ratcliff, would have a whopping 4 goals and 2 assists at the half, with another 3 assists in the second. Rhys Duch would also have a great first half, with 1 goal and 4 assists and ending the night with an additional one of each.

The third quarter saw but a single goal scored by Washington's Luke Wiles, putting Washington ahead 11-10 going into the final quarter. This would have been distressing if Edmonton's Brett Mydske didn't get that goal back 34 seconds into the 4th. The rest of the quarter saw Edmonton and Washington exchanging goal for goal until the end of regulation time. The crowd was all over that game, cheering on their feet for most of the game's final minutes. It was a nail-biter until Ryan Powell scored the overtime winner at 6:07.

The game was made more fun to watch by the company I was keeping. The Jago accepted my invitation to watch the game, and who should come down to sit beside us but Gibble and Elimination Chambers. That's what makes Rush games so much fun to watch. I just wish more of my friends would come to the games. There are tons of unreserved seats all around me, and I've got damn good seats, so what are y'all waiting for?.

Muse in concert

2010-03-30T00:20:00.001-07:00

Wow, what a week it's been. The Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker concert, a night of Axis & Allies, seeing the Edmonton Rush win their first playoff spot, lunch with the family, Wrestlemania, and the Muse concert! But it doesn't end here, folks. This last week of work before a well-deserved two weeks off continues with a dentist appointment, the final auditions and hiring a new member for Apocalypse Kow, and this upcoming weekend, hopefully the final Deadlands game to end the story arc, another Rush game, the Ninjasis' birthday dinner at Chop, and who knows what else!

But first, the Muse concert. I don't remember precisely what got me into Muse, but I suspect it was the well-known KNights of Cydonia video in 2006 or 2007. Their brand of cosmic rock really hit home with me, and I sought out more of their music and found I really enjoyed it. First, it was the Absolution album and such great singles as Hysteria, Time is Running Out, and Stockholm Syndrome. When I finally bought Black Holes and Revelations, I gained a brand new appreciation for this trio. Not only did Knights of Cydonia keep me coming back for more, tracks like Starlight and Supermassive Black Hole really sealed the deal. You don't release tracks like that and expect me to sit idly by on the sidelines, no sir. So when I heard they were coming to town, I immediately went out and bought a few tickets for me and my pals. Decent seats at a decent price.

Opening for Muse was Silversun Pickups, a band I'd heard only rarely except for the occasional time on the car radio and occasionally while playing Rock Band (Lazy Eye is playable, and pretty good, too). After seeing them perform live, dwarfed by the large stage, I think I will be exploring more of their music. What I heard was pretty good, but I couldn't get very much out of the lyrics due to the way they were mixed for arena sound. A slightly smaller venue would have suited them just fine, something between Rexall Place and the *yecch* Starlite Room. More on the *bleah* Starlite Room later, but the take-away from this is Silversun Pickups = check them out.

The stage was already set for Muse when Silversun Pickups performed. Three towering square pillars draped and lit to resemble building or skyscrapers dominated the stage. There didn't seem to be any display screens or anything like that, so we were puzzled. After what seemed to be an interminable wait, the lights went out and everyone cheered like some great big cheering thing. The pillars began to light up a square at a time, like the windows of a skyscraper. A middle section was unlit, and Dr. Teeth asked if it was supposed to light up like the rest. I worried about technical errors. Sound started building from the back as these towers lit up one or two windows at a time, until the sound hit a crescendo and the towers glowed like three towering glowy towers. The towers fade to an "interior" shot of a bunch of faceless people walking up and down staircases.

With the first big guitar hit, the exterior of the towers flutter down to the stage to reveal the band, each member performing on a platform between two sections of pillar. Red lights shine on the stage and all sides of the pillar pieces shine with real-time video footage of the band. The lyrics of the chorus flash on the screen, so I sang along. Already the video footage on the pillars looks like it could double as the official music video for the song.

Eventually, the platforms lowered back down tot he stage and the band played as normal. Throughout the night, they would return tot he pillars and play some songs up in the air and some back on the ground. It made for a great visual image, and the light show was simply stunning, with lasers flashing and spinning out to the audience in time with the music

I was familiar enough with most of the songs to at least sing along to the chorus, but it wasn't really headbanging affair like Nine Inch Nails was, or a clap-along love fest like Polyphonic Spree. It was music I was content to enjoy while seated. I was sitting in an aisle seat, so I wasn't blocking anyone's view by standing, and no one was blocking mine except the occasional usher.

They played for over two hours, and played songs old and new. A couple of them I hadn't heard before, but they were still great. It's no wonder some of my favourite songs are Muse songs. When the "fake encore" came, no one was fooled, since Muse hadn't played the song that everyone wanted and knew they'd play: Knights of Cydonia. After much cheering, the band came back to play a couple of songs before the stage went dark again. Again, much cheering, since they still hadn't played Knights of Cydonia yet! The band came back, with the drummer on timpani, which was awesome! After a bit of timpani, he quickly rushed to his drum kit which began rising along with the other two platforms. This last song would be played up in the air.

Sure enough, Knights of Cydonia! Success! And what a great way to end the concert.

Highlights of the night include the friggin' awesome light show, the multimedia visuals, and one song during which a dozen or so eyeball balloons dropped into the crowd, to be played with or popped at the audience's whim. I love this band, and parts of some of their songs remind me of other bands, which I kind of enjoy. For example, the chorus of United States of Eurasia sounds a lot like Queen. The keyboard part of Uprising reminds me of the Doctor Who theme. And one part of Resistance reminds me a lot of the Pet Shop Boys' It's a Sin. I'm so glad I got to see them in concert, and hope that I get to attend more concerts in the future.

Rush 16, Swarm 14

2010-03-28T00:44:00.000-07:00

So it's been a month and a bit with no update. So much for regular updates, eh?

If it makes y'all feel better, I wanted to update last week, but if you've been reading my Facebook status updates, you'll understand why I didn't update last week. For those who don't place me at the centre of their online universe (and really, who wouldn't?), last week saw a crushing defeat of the Edmonton Rush by the Boston Blazers.

Crushing. As in, made us eat the body parts that they sliced off of us in frequent casual swings of the zweihander while we swung by our feet above a lake of molten puppies. It was a shame, really. We'd just started to gain a lot of momentum with our at-home winning streak, and the audience was being encouraged that maybe, just maybe, one of their home teams were going to go the distance and give them something to be proud of, and who cares if it's only the little known official summer sport of Canada? Last week's annihilation "proved" to many lacrosse fans and potential lacrosse fans that the only thing you get from hoping for the best is a broken heart. Again.

That's why it was such a shame that many didn't get to see tonight's game against the Minnesota Swarm. Yes, we were no longer undefeated at home, and yes, the Boston game was a pitiful excuse for 60 minutes of lacrosse, and yes, despite the goal on the penalty shot and the massive penalty combo to Boston (2 minute minor, 10 minute misconduct, and game misconduct) there wasn't much to cheer about. But the Rush really played their asses off tonight, and pulled off a very important win: one goal away from having the most goals scored in a single game, and I think one win away from their first playoff spot in franchise history.

I wasn't getting my hopes up after last week's game, but was secretly hoping we would once again show Edmonton (and Minnesota) why this year's motto, "Whatever It Takes," rings as true today as it did at the start of the season, and how we pulled off a perfect at-home record up until last week. Boston was a fluke, an anomaly, an exception that proves the rule, even though that phrase is often used for bad science.

The game started off with more heartache. One minute in, one shot, one goal by Minnesota. Their odd bumblebee-sleeved white uniforms looking tacky and simplistic compared to the Rush's edgy silver and black home jerseys. Was this going to be a repeat of the Boston massacre? Our fanbase couldn't take another loss like that. Thankfully, we had Brodie Merrill on our side, and he answered Minnesota's goal with an unassisted run at the net 10 seconds later.

At the end of the 1st, Edmonton was up 7-3 over Minnesota, each with a power play goal under its belt. Our goaltender, Matt Disher, who had a very acrobatic night, was up with 2 assists, and Ryan Powell was already at 2 goals. On the Minnesota side, Aaron Wilson was truly their hero with 3 points, including their powerplay goal. Compared to Boston, Minnesota's defence was porous and easily worked around. It was nice to not spend the entire game bitching and whinging in frustration. Hell, the Swarm changed their goalie after the first 5 minutes of the game, that's how much Edmonton was dominating them. They would alternate goalies throughout the night, while Edmonton's Matt Disher remained a bulwark against Minnesota's aggressive offence, stopping 44 of the enemy's 58 shots. 44 of 58, people!

The 2nd quarter was far more discouraging, with Edmonton racking up a questionable 5-minute cross-checking major, during which the Swarm scored 2 power play goals, and a couple of intentional contact minors. Hell, I didn't even know we had a penalty for that. We ended the half at 10-7, and Minnesota had ex-Rush player Callum Crawford for his evening's contribution of 3G 4A for keeping the Swarm in contention throughout the night.

The 2nd half was more of the same intensity. Play was a lot more physical in the second half, and there were a few fights percolating on the field, with a few "exchanging of words" shoving matches that were quickly hosed down by the officials. While it would have been nice to see a fight break out, it probably would have killed whatever intensity we had. Ryan Ward was the hero of the 3rd quarter, racking up 4 assists in that period alone, and finishing the night as the game's MVP with 2G 5A.

On the other side of the field, it was interesting to see former Rush players scoring big against us. Ryan "Hit the Mesh" Benesch had 5 assists on us, Scott Self was scoreless but noticeable on the field, and Callum Crawford was, as I mentioned before, 3G 4A. But it wasn't just former Rush players succeeding against their former teammates tonight. No, Ryan Ward used to play with Minnesota, so it was apropos that he show them what he's made of himself post-Swarm. And show them he did, as he broke the 400-point mark in the NLL!

So this season is seeing a lot of firsts and a lot of numerical achievements. Tied for most number of goals in a game, winningest season, Ryan Ward topping 400 career points in the NLL, and hopefully our first playoff run. It was a tremendous game, and I hope lots of folks come out to cheer for our boys against the Washington Stealth next Friday, April 2. Help the Rush get into the playoffs, folks. You won't be sorry, and your faith in the team will not go unrewarded. The Rush have proven this year that they will indeed do "whatever it takes" to win games, win fans, and win your loyalty.

Go Rush!.

Rush 14, Rock 13

2010-02-22T23:16:00.001-07:00

The last couple of weeks haven't been kind to this little ninja, knee-wise, but what really cheers me up is seeing people around me happy and cheering. That's why the Olympics have been such a balm for the sleepiness and soreness I've been feeling lately. Canada's been doing pretty well, but more on that in a future update. My main cheering has come in the form of being an unrepentant fanboy for the Edmonton Rush. And this season, they've given us professional lacrosse fans a lot to cheer about.

For one thing, the Rush are playing far more consistently than they have been in seasons past. We have a much stronger team this year with better coaching and Randy-freaking-Couture for a strength and conditioning coach! We've also got Brody Merrill, formerly of the Portland Lumberjax and one of the best players in the National Lacrosse League as well as a couple of other lacrosse leagues. And he didn't disappoint in Sunday's game against the Toronto Rock.

Going into the game, the Rush was undefeated at home but had trouble winning on the road, while the Toronto Rock were the tops in the eastern division at 6-3, with 120 goals scored! It was a scary prospect, but I and thousands of dedicated Rush fans dutifully came out to support our boys in silver and black and hope for the best. Undefeated at home would be a great accomplishment and, hopefully, attract more attention to the sport in Canada and to the team. With the Esks and Oilers being a little disappointing, it would be nice to have a local team we can cheer on and be proud of once again.

As a proud Rush supporter, I decided to Tweet the game on @worstninjaever. How else to let all my Twitter followers know about something so important to me? Besides, some folks wanted to go to the game but were already otherwise engaged.

Things didn't start well. The crowd was fair to middling and within a minute, Toronto scored the first goal. Thankfully, we got it back soon after and we were neck and neck, tied 3-3 at the end of the first. We were playing well, but Toronto seemed to be playing a much harder physical game than we were. Their forechecking was much more aggressive, and more than once I saw a Toronto stick and arm wrapped around a Rush ball carrier, just shy of a holding call. One of the Toronto goals scored in the 1st was a power play goal on en Edmonton holding penalty.

When Toronto's Cam Woods came in early in the 2nd to score a short-handed goal, I thought the Rush were done for. We were outplayed, outchecked, and if it weren't the frequent miscommunications in the Rock passing plays, the Rush would surely have been sunk. But a scant 21 seconds later, Gavin Prout gave it to Dane Stevens who came back with the powerplay goal we'd all been screaming for! Then Andy Secore did the same thing on a Rock penalty 2 minutes later. And Stevens would come in three minutes after that with a third powerplay goal. The Rush would end night with a 3/3 on the powerplay, keeping the Rush down to 2 goals in 5 powerplay attempts.

Despite the aggressive game, however, the number of penalties were few. Only 3 were called against the Rock and 5 against the Rush. Of the 5 Edmonton penalties, one was for unsportsmanlike conduct, which I couldn't see, and one was for illegal equipment, which I also didn't see, but since the officials take a little time each game to measure and study a random sample of each team's equipment, I'm not too surprised that they'd find something eventually. Matt Disher had another great night in net, stopping 26 of 39 shots.

Ryan Powell was the game's MVP, and well-deserved. 4 goals and 4 assists on the night Corey Small also had an awesome night, helping with 6 of Edmonton's goals.

It was a great game. Didn't have the sheer volume of a Battle of Alberta, but we're getting a steady 7300-7400 bums in seats for each home game, which is okay, but seeing the 10,000+ numbers of a couple of years ago would be much better for the city and the team. It's a game that plays faster than hockey and is a fun game to bring the family to. This is my fourth year as a season ticket holder, and my only regret is in not being able to take more people to the games. Granted, no one I've taken to a game has ever gone to a game on their own, but I still have to try. Thankfully, my buddy Gibble is a big fan and often goes to games so I have someone to talk lacrosse with. Heck, for the Toronto game, Gibble was in the halftime promotional golf game. He won a round of gold and gets to come back later in the season to play for the big grand prize!

So come on out, folks. Lacrosse is a great sport and, up until I attended my first Rush game, would never have considered myself a sports fan. The next game isn't until March 20, but that's three days after my birthday so I want to see a bunch of you out there at Rexall. Go Rush!

Farewell my a cappella Kow

2010-02-06T01:58:00.000-07:00

The Apocalypse Kow "Farewell to Gil" concert was a resounding success. Sure, we haven't counted the money and we didn't sell as much merchandise as I would have liked, and no one brought donations for the Edmonton Food Bank, but it was a great show. Thanks to some monitor speakers, a competent tech, and some rehearsals on mic, we sounded better than ever. More than a couple of people remarked that it was probably our best concert and our best sound. I am inclined to agree.

Rarely have I heard us sound as good starting a show, and to continue that success throughout the concert, through the fake encore, and past the real encore, is unthinkable. Perhaps we were focused on this being the Barber's last show with us for the foreseeable future. Perhaps we'd had just enough rehearsal. Perhaps our tech, the Dorklord, was just that good (hey, it's possible). Whatever it was, everything sort of came together and became greater than the sum of its parts. We were on pitch, any mistakes were quickly corrected, and we were tight. Not just musically, which would have sufficed, but our banter was quick, sharp, and hilarious. Our various personalities, which have been exaggerated on stage over the years, had them rolling in their seats. Jago's surliness, Dr. Teeth's rationality, my showboating, Astroboy's innocence, and the Barber's competent serenity--all of it was like food to a comedy-hungry crowd.

We trotted out all the Barber favourites and the songs he sang lead on. It was interactive, and we fed on the energy the audience was only too happy to give us. And unlike most concerts, my voice wasn't completely broken by the end. Heck, I wasn't even breathing heavy, but my feet were killing me. I wish all our concerts could be like that. I'm thinking it was the more frequent rehearsal that did it. We rehearsed three times in the last week, so we hadn't forgotten anything we'd gone over, our voices weren't starting from scratch each time, and we actually practised with the microphones, which is unusual for us. And it worked.

The crowd was unanimous in their love of the show. We sketched out the fake encore with them beforehand "so you wouldn't be concerned when we left the stage, and you wouldn't be too confused when we came back to the stage." And they played their parts beautifully, cheering their hearts out for us--for us!--until we came out to an even louder ovation. After the real final song, a crowd favourite with choreography, vocal percussion, and audience call and response, we left the stage again. Imagine our surprise when they kept clamouring for more. We couldn't disappoint so we quickly decided on a song and sent them home with a bang.

I loved it, but I'm rather disappointed that we won't be sharing any future successful concerts with the Barber. It's like we'd finally had a perfect show and discovered how to make them, and he won't be with us anymore. I'm hoping he'll still come to the shows and lead the audience in the applause. That'd be great.

The "Farewell to Gil" Concert

2010-02-02T00:30:00.000-07:00

So, this Friday, February 5, 2010, Apocalypse Kow will have their final concert with its current lineup. After 15 years of singing together in the University of Alberta Mixed Chorus, playing handbells together in the Faculty of Education Handbell Ringers, and spending 10 years together in Apocalypse Kow, we'll be saying goodbye to the Barber, one of the group's founding members.

He is also a really good friend, and one of my regrets in life is not working harder at hanging out with him more. By the time he started getting really busy with finishing school, living with a longtime girlfriend, and working at a company whose name is easily visible at the top of its building downtown, I was dealing with 2009, the most stressful year I've had in recent memory. So, he busy, and me busy, and never the twain shall meet.

I don't know how I'm going to feel by the time the concert ends on Friday night, but the group will be slightly different after he leaves. Transport, accountant, and labourer for the group, and his family are huge supporters of the group (Senior Barber is the one who put us up on YouTube). I just wish there wasn't all that jibba jabba and miscommunication over his leaving. But I suppose lapses in the communication process can find blame on both sides.

But the concert is going to be a lot of fun. it'll be Barber-centric, full of memories, entertaining music, and all the onstage Kow antice you've come to expect from these a cappella ninjas of mirth and masculinity. Here are all the details:

Apocalypse Kow's "Farewell to Gil" concert
Friday, February 5, 2010 Doors @ 6:30, show @ 7
Knox-Metropolitan Church (8307 109 street NW)
Tix: Adults $15, children $8

Part of the proceeds will go to the Edmonton Food Bank, but please feel free to bring in your own Food Bank donations. We will also have a big merchandise clearance, so if you know someone who's been drooling over a Kow shirt, hoodie, ladies shirt, or Kow-zoo, bring them to the show or have them give you money to buy them things!

What will happen to Apocalypse Kow after the concert? I suppose you'll have to wait for the announcement on this here blog or on our Facebook page, but we'll still be around. We still have the Fringe Festival in August, after all!

Rush 14, Roughnecks 11

2010-01-31T01:07:00.000-07:00

If Edmonton were Mudville, Casey woulda smashed that ball right outta the park on the first pitch. In what is sure to be one of the greatest Battles of Alberta in Edmonton's and Calgary's history, tonight's contest between the Edmonton Rush and the Calgary Roughnecks was a night for celebration and anger, cheering and confusion. I was at the game with my buddy Gibble, another Rush fan, and we sat behind a trio of Roughnecks fans who enjoyed the friendly rivalry, and the non-drunken, good-natured ribbing. They were self-effacing, acknowledged Edmonton's strong points, and were very amiable. If only all sports fans, in both Calgary and Edmonton, could enjoy sports like that.

The Game Stats (from NLL.com)

The game began with a bullet: the first shot on net at 0:40, and the first goal, for the Rush. I immediately Tweeted the news, since I was posting regular updates for my followers. Whether anyone read them or enjoyed them is anyone's guess. But back to the game. I felt it was evenly matched, with both teams playing a strong game both offensively and defensively, and Calgary had plans to take care of superstars like Brodie Merrill and Gavin Prout. Oh, those two were not pleased with what Calgary was doing all night.

By the end of the first quarter, we were all tied up at 4, with both teams making great shots and playing very intensely. Calgary did everything they could to dominate us physically, but Edmonton responded in kind, relying people other than the giant Merrill to do the hard checking. Prout, on the other hand, often took matters into his own hands. And it wasn't just Prout who wanted to respond to Calgary's constant prodding and goading. Early in the 2nd quarter, Ian Crashley got dinged for a triple whammy. A 5-minute major for cross-checking, 5 for fighting, and ejection from the game, the first time I've seen a game misconduct.

Oh, the Rush did not like that, and the Edmonton fans did not like the inconsistent calls and what appeared to be nonsensical officiating (obligatory outrage: what game were the refs watching?). Well, we showed them. Not one, but two short-handed goals, in just over two minutes from the time Jimmy Quinlan went into the box to serve Crashley's penalty. Gaving Prout got the first one with a vengeance, and finished the night with an additional goal and a helper. Ryan Ward got the second, and he had another amazing night, with but 1 goal but 5 assists. By comparison, Brodie Merrill, who is usually an assist machine, was content to be the big target that distracted the Roughnecks while he got a measly goal and couple of assists.

It's strange to look at the game summary and see all the different penalties that were called. Though both teams took great liberties with with their checking and intense physical play, Edmonton's penalties were primarily for cross-checking or fighting, while Calgary only got 7 penalties the whole night. That doesn't seem right to me. Calgary made good use of its challenges, using both to great effect. Edmonton didn't challenge anything, but then, they didn't really have to.

We were tied 7-7 at the half and started the third quarter with a man down. Prout decided he'd had enough from Calgary and got into a scuffle with Calgary's Craig Conn. And when I say "scuffle," I mean Prout jerseyed Conn and started up the lawnmower. While I generally abhor violence, this seemed like a time where it needed to be done. Players were crashing into each other, jumping over piles of bodies, and jostling more than a little whenever they came into close proximity. I think also that the strange calls from the officials helped to frustrate them, and really, when isn't it a good motivator to stick it to Calgary?

By the fourth quarter, neither team had flagged in energy, and were playing just as rough as they had been the first 3/4 of the game. Calgary's Jeff Sanderson racked up 2 power play goals and 4 assists, while Dane Dobbie got 2 goals and 3 assists. Their power play was also pretty good (4/7) and after the first quarter, their defense stepped up and offered a tremendous challenge for our offensive line. And, of course, all that harassment of Merrill and Prout the whole night. I was surprised they didn't hit Ward after his performance last week against the Buffalo Bandits. But still they lost.

It was very clear why Calgary lost, though little of it was their own fault. More likely, it was Edmonton's better strategy in defusing Calgary's strengths that did it. First, I gotta mention our goalie, Matt Disher, who played the game of his life out there tonight, stopping an unbelievable 45 of 54 shots! Conversely, Calgary swapped goalies at least twice, with one leaving the players' box for some odd reason. Disher really saved our bacon tonight, but he wasn't the only hero. Mad props also have to go to the coaching team for hanging Merrill out like a beacon to draw Calgary's attention to him while we were busy elsewhere scoring goals and setting up plays. And finally, something has to be said for Calgary's passing game, which seemed to get worse as the night went on. By the fourth quarter, the Roughnecks were missing regular, easy passes, including several which could very easily have ended in goals. Calgary drops to 1-3 for the season while Edmonton mirrors that at 3-1.

I can't overstate how awesome the game was. The hometown crowd loved it, and another win under Edmonton's belt will help draw more and bigger crowds to Rexall for Rush games. Attendance jumped 700 over last week's 11-7 win over Buffalo, and that's very exciting for me. I really want Rush games to be popular, even if it's a salve for Edmonton sports pride when the Oilers aren't doing well. At least one of Edmonton's teams can win games, right? The next home game is February 21 against the Toronto Rock.

Hope to see you there!

The long weekend ahead

2010-01-30T00:46:00.005-07:00

I remember when weekends were filled with slackitude, the joy of oozing out of bed at noon-thirty, the eventual inevitability of brunchington, melting onto the couch watching whatever's on the PVR, and maybe some foodables. What happened to those weekends? Didn't I have one of those just last week? It's difficult to remember.

This weekend is a busy one. There's lots to do. First thing in the morning--why the hell am I updating the blog this late?--I have a hair appointment. It was the most convenient, and it's not even that convenient. I mean, honestly, nine in the morning? Who gets up at nine in the morning on a Saturday?

But I have to have my hair appointment at nine in the morning, because some S-T-O-O-P-I-D stoopid ninja made an appointment to donate blood at 11am. Why, I ask you? Why is this ninja so stoopid? Couldn't he have put it off? Well, he has, which is the problem. The last time I tried to donate blood, my blood pressure was too high. I'm no bloodologist, but I'd think that would be a good thing. The bloodonomers disagree with me, and tell me to shut up-a my face. They're not even Italian! So when the bloodographites called to persuade me to give up my tasty, tast--ahem, they meant, valuable, helpsaveliveshonest blood, I got suckered in. As usual. I just can't resist giving up a bunch of blood to those poor, needy vampire orphans. I have common blood, but it flows well, and for some reason, my body keeps making more of it all the time. If I didn't donate, I'd probably explode. Y'all should donate blood so you don't explode. That's the next blood drive campaign slogan: Give blood so you don't explode.

Yeah, so what's wrong with donating blood tomorrow? Why, it's a very important game for the Edmonton Rush! They're playing the Calgary Roughnecks (obligatory boooooooo) and I'll need to be in tip top screaming and root root rooting shape for the home team. If they don't win, it's a shame... just like in baseball.

So come on out and do the things I'm doing.

Get your hair dyed blue! Do it cuz it's different!

Donate blood! It's in you to give... blood, that is! Do it so you don't explode!

Go cheer on the Rush at Rexall! Do it cuz they're playing Calgary (obligatory boooooooooo), and we don't like Calgary because they're different than us. Look at their team colours. Red? Ha, red looks silly! Go blue and orange... or silver and black... or green and gold!

Rush 11, Bandits 7

2010-01-24T01:52:00.003-07:00

What a night for Edmonton lacrosse fans! Over 7000 people scampered into Rexall Place tonight to watch the awkening of what we hope will be the new NLL Champion's Cup winners. Our boys played an exciting game and beat back some really decent Buffalo Bandit offense, and scored some very powerful goals, all the while being bullied and treated like dirt in front of some apathetic referees. Well, take that, Buffalo Bandits. Eat that 11-7 loss!

Obligatory sports cliche: what game were the refs watching?!

Ahem... I was excited to see this new team play. We got the coach, we got the best player in the league, and we have four years of experience. There had to be something we could do to start winning games. Well, there was, and new head coach Derek Keenan showed all the skeptics what it was: he turned up the awesome.

First, he turned up the offense. I've only rarely seen the Rush play so well in front of the net. Once they won the face-off (and they did a lot of that tonight), they were able to get a lot of shots on goal, which I enjoyed for the math factor. The more shots we make, the more shots that, statistically, will go in, given a goaltender's save percentage. This new team may have even showed off a little as they scored their first goal on their second shot. At 1:17 of the first quarter!

Can you believe it? The crowd is cheering on the home team and have barely gotten comfortable when the Rush score not once, but twice in the first five minutes of the game, the second goal scored on the power play. Oh, and that was 14 seconds into the power play, by the way. Five minutes into the game, and we're two up and 1/2 on the power play. Not a bad start to the home opener, eh?

By the end of the first quarter, the Rush are up 3-2 and scored a second power play goal. 16 seconds into the power play!

After halftime, however, Buffalo started getting way more aggressive. I will never understand how Rush players could get the penalties they did for roughing and holding when Buffalo can hold Jimmy Quinlan up by the neck for a few seconds, then manhandle him to the ground directly in front of a referee, and not get so much as a "hey, cut that out."

The Rush were monsters on offense, with a couple of spectacular shots that whanged off the cross bar, or one that bounced around between Buffalo's goaltender and various parts of the posts and crossbar. The goal light went off, but the refs waved it off and it was never challenged, so I'm not sure if it actually went in or if I'm just wishing for more pain to be inflicted on the Bandits. Our passing game had greatly improved, remaining stable through the final quarter, and our energy didn't flag too much in the second half. We seemed to set our picks really well, giving the ball-carrier far more opportunities to drive to the net.

Defensively, Coach Keenan seems to have plugged up our greatest vulnerability. Our defensive coverage was, for the most part, bulletproof. We were aggressive without being violent, aware of each other and the other team, blunted many of their picks, and prevented them from coming down the middle. We still had a couple of vulnerabilities on either side, but I'm thrilled with this improvement.

Our new players increase the team's average height by a couple of inches. They must, because Brodie Merrill, our new superstar, doesn't seem as large as he did when he was playing for the Portland Lumberjax. Merrill played very well, with 4 assists and a goal for the night, but he wasn't the most outstanding player against the Bandits. That honour would go to #44, Ryan Ward, who would finish the night with a Bandit-humiliating 4 goals and 4 assists! Another new acquisition, Gavin Prout, had 4 assists. I suppose that's why the Bandits harassed them so much.

It's nice to cheer for a winning team again, and one that has such potential. But the roster wasn't the only thing that the Rush have changed since last year. Our dance team, Edmonton's Crush, was still prettying up the place with their routines, and the mascots Slush and Freez were still rallying the crowd, and the OCC custom motorcycle was still driven onto the field at the start of the night. But some things were different.

We had a change in in-game announcers. The Bear's Yukon Jack passed the torch to a new, younger guy who had a lot more energy. He wasn't quite up to speed on when he should try to rally a dead crowd, and he wasn't as precise as Yukon Jack was, but the crowd seemed to like him. I also enjoyed the new national anthem singer. She was a strong singer who didn't feel the need to noodle around with the anthems. I've always believed that national anthems aren't pop songs and shouldn't be played around with too much.

There were a few notable absences, too. There was no live DJ this year, and no assistant announcer, but I'm sure their absence won't make much difference in how the Rush play. I had a great night, and wish all y'all were there to share in the excitement. We have a team to be especially proud of this year.

Edmonton Rush 2010: Whatever it Takes

2010-01-23T12:08:00.004-07:00

Awwwwww yeeeaaaaaaaah, it's professional lacrosse season again, and in this, their fifth year of operations, the Edmonton Rush have a dynamite team filled with former champions and led by a championship coach! After the Portland Lumberjax folded operations this year, Edmonton picked up some strong players in the dispersal draft, including a guy I subbed "the Wall," Brodie Merrill, a Canadian player named the NLL Rookie of the Year as well as Defensive Player of the Year in 2006, and Transition Player of the Year in 2009. And that's just for the National Lacrosse League. he also plays in Major League Lacrosse for the Toronto Nationals, where he won MLL Rookie of the Year in 2005 and, get this, Defensive Player of the Year in 2006, 2007, 2008, and 2009! And we've got him!

Finally, the Rush appear to have a real chance at the Champion's Cup. And that opinion is shared by many folks, including our new head coach, Derek Keenan, who has been micro-blogging the team's progress in the pre-season for weekly newsletter subscribers. He's confident in our team, pushed them through training camp and the pre-season, and took them to 1-1 so far in the regular season--a 15-7 loss against the Washington Stealth in the season opener, and holding on to a 14-13 lead against the Colorado Mammoth.

I'm pumped about this season. 2010 has been a source of many good things so far, and the first month isn't even done yet. Let's get a win under our belt to make this a perfect January!

Anyone curious about lacrosse? Want to come to a game and join in the fun, while supporting a great local team and a sport that's not hockey? Let me know, since I have two season tickets so I can expose new people to the game and the team. Hopefully, this will get more people out to games so both the team and the league can continue to exist. GO, RUSH!

(I'm also using a new forum tag for the Rush, so there. Nyah!)

Introducing Migo

2010-01-23T11:58:00.003-07:00

I'd like to introduce you all to a new addition to this blog--my portable assistant, Migo. Migo is an old laptop a friend was getting rid of, and it only cost me $20, so I rescued it from almost certain abandonment in a closet or something. It's been about a week singe I got it, and I think I've finally customized it to my preferences.

I needed something I could use to write on, something that wasn't my computer. I wanted something portable so I could take it anywhere, including my room, where I have way more quiet and I'm more comfortable. It's worked out great! Migo and I spend at least an hour together every night, writing, surfing, chatting, or just enjoying a playlist on YouTube, which I use for discovering new bands.

Migo is a Dell Inspiron 1300. It's not very fast, even after I quadrupled its RAM, but it can play videos, run Firefox, run OpenOffice, chat online, and sound good doing it. So as not to offend my roommates late at night, I bought a great pair of wireless headphones which plug into one of Migo's three USB slots. The only downside to Migo is that it gets really warm on my lap when it's been on for a while, but that's something I'm just going to have to live with. Its battery life is nothing to write home about, either, but from what I understand, all laptops suffer from this.

Migo has a wireless network card, so I not only have internet here, I can interface with shared directories on the home network. This means I don't have to keep shuttling files back and forth between laptop and desktop; I can just yoink the files from a shared directory, work on it here, and then save it back to there. Sure, it means I'll still have to transfer files if ever Migo and I wanted to work on something outside the house, but for right now, I'm enjoying the convenience and the productivity.

So say hello, Migo. I'm looking forward to working with you a lot this year.

2009 Year in Review: Ninja edition

2009-12-31T23:59:00.002-07:00

Not really posted on new year's eve, but whatever.

2010 is another milestone not only in my life, but in linear man-made calendar time, so I thought I'd look back at the year that was so I can better enjoy the year that will be... hopefully.

The year started with a bang. In January, I got the year off to a terrible start by having passport trouble. This was bad because work was thinking of sending me to Europe. I ended up not going. Without regular Rush lacrosse games, I don't think I would have updated very much at all. Or had any fun, it seems.

February saw the delay in Dragon Age's release, being pushed back from March to sometime much later, and some melancholy around Valentine's Day. I gave a lesson on my shoulder and the importance of meat in my diet, and did my part to get people out to Rush games so we still have a local franchise to cheer for in a few years. It was also the start of Bugfest2009, even if I didn't quite know it yet.

In March, I not only celebrated my birthday, but I also went to see The Watchmen movie, which I enjoyed very much. About the most exciting thing to happen is they moved me from Dragon Age to Mass Effect 2.

In April, this blog turned one more year older and I made promises I didn't keep. The Edmonton Rush ended their season with a fantabulous game, and my scooter shop had added a hair salon and Italian cafe to their building. I bought a new scooter helmet and cursed the snow that prevented me from riding for a night. See? Tedium. And y'all wonder why I don't update more often.

I watched the new Star Trek in May, and had a really nice time, despite by this point getting really stressed out with the mysterious bug bites. Dragon Age released its controversial, yet very popular "Violence" trailer, and our message boards exploded in popularity.

Things got really bad in June. The stress of work and concert planning and Bugfest2009 made me gimpy, with ridiculously long recovery times. But I survived and helped a bunch of our fans celebrate the 10th anniversary of Apocalypse Kow at a rocking concert. This month also saw this ninja hulk out and prove that you really wouldn't like him when he's angry. It's not a berserker rage, more a matter of not wanting to lose control over the volume of my voice because that will start a chain reaction no one wants to see.

Thankfully, in July the bugs were taken care of and I managed to clear out a bunch of crap from my room. That didn't help the emotion level, since I also had to post a series of positive updates so I didn't sink. This month, a founding member of Apocalypse Kow announced his upcoming departure from the group.

The stress continued through August, but we made more money at the Fringe Festival than ever before.

More stress in September as the drama unfolded in Apocalypse Kow, due to miscommunication and lack of commujnication.

October was Pure Speculation month, and by November I was just going through the motions. Work was killing me, I was staying gimpy for longer due to stress, and I wasn't happy with much of anything.

Thankfully, I got December off and had time to decompress. It wasn't enough, due to the show and Christmas, but I'm in a much better place now than I was before. Here's to a happy, safe, healthy, prosperous 2010.

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-26T01:54:00.002-07:00

Another Christmas has come and gone, another gathering of the extended Ninja clan.

This year was rather mellow and simple compared to some years past. As usual, I made my up to the Ninja house on Christmas Eve with loads of presents, and as usual, I had a wonderful dinner and stayed overnight on the terrible pull out bed. But that's where the similarities ended, and that's probably a good thing.

My sister wasn't nearly as disagreeable this year as she's been in previous years, partly because the big clan gathering wasn't at the house this year; it was at my uncle's place. Kind of fitting since his kids, cousins Ducky and the Kat, were both back for the holidays. The Duck has been rocket science-ing it up at MIT (yes, that MIT) and the Kat has been in Calgary the last few years working in software development. This, from the girl who, when she was young, was scatter-brained and oblivious. I'm glad she's done well for herself.

Anyway, my sister was almost joyous with the season this year, which always makes me happy, since I really don't like her when she's stressed out. She tends to take it out on my brother and, when she's in the mood for a fight or doesn't care what response she gets, me. It's gotten to the point where I think I'd be happier if I simply gathered my things and left her to be disagreeable to everyone, because that's not what the season's about, and I'm not about to let her ruin it for me. I'm way too old to take that anymore.

But negativity was the exact opposite of how it felt this year, except for this nagging pain I have somewhere inside my body. You know how it feels to have a back spasm, where moving the wrong way seems to make everything seize up? It's kind of like that on a more localized level somewhere around my bottom left rib. I was really afraid it might have been appendix-related, since I still have mine, but it seems the appendix is much lower down and on the other side of the body... I hope. This pain isn't incapacitating, but it's really annoying and makes sleeping more difficult than tying your shoes with your tongue. Combine that with the terrible sleeping surface, the Ninjadad's insistence on keeping the house at somewhere around 18-19 degrees Celsius (cold), and the small blanket he gave me, and sleep was rather elusive. Ibuprofen seemed to help the sleeping situation, so I was mostly conscious the next morning.

Presents time is always fun. My parents always find new and different ways to give us money, and we find new and ingenious ways of giving them money. Seems redundant, but we have fun with it. Everyone was happy with their gifts this year, which is always a plus since the Ninjasis is sometimes particular about what (and how much of it) she gets. Since I still owed the Ninjabro a birthday gift, I splurged a little on his gift, which he appreciated. And, as always, my sister contributed to the expansion of my wardrobe with a stylish and comfortable looking sweater and hoodie.

We spent the afternoon playing Rock Band and the newly acquired Karaoke Revolution on the Wii until it was time to head out to the gathering. The car was packed to the balcony with food and gifts and Wii paraphernalia. Like the old McDonald's ad, the evening was filled with food, folks, and fun. We ate, played Rock Band on the Wii, ate some more, and eventually made our way back upstairs to open Secret Santa gifts.

This being the 10th annual Cousin Christmas Exchange, each participating cousin was encouraged to be creative in their gift-giving, and some cousins went all out indeed. Cousin "#1 J" asked for "green" (ie. eco-friendly) items and received things that could be considered eco-friendly given the right perspective, such as tea lights to use in place of electricity, or a child's magnetic drawing pad to use in place of pen and paper. Another cousin included on his list such joke items as a puppy, a pretty plant, and a date with Jessica Biel, and was rewarded with a stuffed dog, a seed with a picture of the tree it would grow into, and a photo and "date instructions" for Jessica Biel.

But the crowning achievement was an elaborate cross-family puzzle game involving a series of padlocked presents, with each padlock containing a clue and a label. Four cousins received 1/4 of an instruction sheet that, when combined, spelled out how to go about unlocking the various locks, and the first key. All the clues involved figuring out different cousin statistics, such as where each cousin fit in age order, what each cousin's zodiac sign was, what their Chinese zodiac sign was, how many male cousins vs/ female cousins there were, their parents' age order, and their varied interests. After about an hour of going from one key and clue to a lock to another clue and key, all the presents were opened and there were 22 padlocks available to take home.

Another cousin's gift consisted of an artfully constructed triangle of interlocked, wrapped DVD cases, each with a written or illustrated clue on it. Most of the boxes were empty but some contained a DVD, and he was to guess which was which. The empty ones had different clues indicating it was empty, such as a picture of a tennis ball and the word "Love" on it ("love" means "zero" in tennis), an integral whose function equaled zero, even the beginning of a quote from Macbeth, "A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, ____________" (the remainder of the quote being "signifying nothing."). Those boxes that contained an actual DVD also held clues as to the box's contents. The box containing the movie Ratatouille had a picture of a map of North America with the province of Alberta cut out of it, the clue being that there are allegedly no rats in Alberta. Another package had a symbol for a plant pointing at one end of a giant space ship, one I recognized from the movie Wall-E. Sure enough, that box contained a Wall-E DVD.

We also got to spend some time Skyping cousins in the States, and they chatted with us for a while before they had to go to bed. After all of that, I was beat, so I got my brother to drive me home, about the only quality time I get with my brother these days. Now, I'm beat, but I took a pill and hope I'll be able to sleep tonight, since I'm going Boxing Day shopping tomorrow.

I hope all your Christmases were just as fun as mine, readers. Have a safe, merry holiday, don't drink and drive, and may your presents make you smile.

Room service

2009-12-05T01:02:00.004-07:00

One of the reasons I've been remiss in updating this blog (besides Laziness, the constant gardener) is because I've been rehearsing for a show, my first in over two years. Despite my occasional gimpiness and busy-ness with work, the rehearsal process has gone remarkably well. We have a truly fantastic cast, acting professionals all. We have a great script: Ken Ludwig's "Lend Me a Tenor," a farce involving opera, mistaken identity, beautiful women in their underwear, a couple of smart-assed bellhops, brilliant silver costumes, innuendo, and door, oh so many doors, slamming and opening and closing.

It's playing at the Walterdale Playhouse, so you know it's going to be not only a great show, but it's being put on by volunteers, from the actors to the director to the set pieces to the painting to stage management. Walterdale is one of the oldest amateur theatre groups in western Canada, and the experiences I've had with Walterdale shows have been nothing less than the best of my amateur acting career. Who else would cast me as the Comte de Guiche in "Cyrano de Bergerac"? Where else would I be able to glide across the stage not once, but twice, on my kick scooter, as I did in "The Skin of Our Teeth"? And where else would I be allowed to climb all over the set, as I have in pretty much every Walterdale show I've been in?

This time, as one of the smart-assed bellhops mentioned earlier, I have had to do things very differently. Because the play is set in the 1930s, before Chinese people were invented, I've had to dye my hair back to its "natural" colour: black. I put natural in quotes because it's not even a natural Asian black, which is more of a very very very very very very very very dark brown, but goth black, or black black, or dark black. It looks more natural than the blue did, but it still looks a little unnatural. Part of that may be due to the fact that this is probably the first time my hair has been "black" in seven or eight years! True story! I started dyeing my hair blue shortly after starting at BioWare, a) because I could, and b) because I didn't want the cliche Asian colours like red or brown or blonde, and I haven't really stopped.

Another change I've had to make, and this also involves my hair, is that every night for hte show, I have to gel the heck out of my hair. Now, I don't know about you, but one of the legacies passed down from my father, as was passed down to him from his father, is the Woo Cowlick. The male Woo head was seemingly not built to support any particular style of hair except short, because anytime we start to grow the hair out to any length at all, the cowlicks become painfully evident. I've got two or three. Thankfully, now that my hair has grown long enough to cross state lines, the Woo Cowlick no longer has jurisdiction. But I digress.

Every night for the show, I dampen my hair with water, then I use a liberal amount (I'm talking half a handful of the stuff) of hair goop and thread it into as much of my hair as I can. Then the combing with an extreme part on the leftist side of my head, and sit under the heat helmet machine for a few. That last part is something I started doing yesterday because otherwise the goop doesn't dry fast enough and my hair will move around while the Woo Cowlick tries to reassert its dominance.

I gotta say, I look pretty sharp in my bellhop uniform, and so does Dr. Teeth. That's another great thing about this show. It's allowed me to work with long-time friends who I haven't done a show with before, like Dr. Teeth and the Tartan Avenger and Jugglepants. And that's not mentioning the lovely ladies. Did I mention they appear in their underwear? Because they do. And even if that doesn't get you, some notables who have been involved with previous incarnations of the play include Andrew Lloyd Webber, Victor Garber, and Wedge Antilles himself, Denis Lawson, who played the role of Max.

Come on out to see the show, despite the snow. We run until next Saturday, December 12, nightly at 8pm except for a 2pm Sunday matinee and no show on Monday. Walterdale Playhouse, in the heart of Old Strathcona.

For more information, check out Walterdale Playhouse's website.

Great White

2009-12-05T00:48:00.004-07:00

Winter is definitely upon us, ladies and frankincense. Suddenly, from out of the grey, there came a silent dandruff that fell for a day and a night. And when I say "fell," I don't mean we got some snow. Oh heavens, no. I mean we got a hell of a lot of it. Some folks had to shovel their walks three times today, that's how bad it got. And it's still snowing as I type this at 12:50am.

It's not even that cold outside. The wind chills it out some, but I was doing just fine in a hoodie and a fall jacket. It's a darn good thing I took December off of work, let me tell you. Three weeks til Christmas, and it looks like we'll have a white one. The usual suspects will be expected. Big family gathering, lots of food and babies passed around, the 10th annual Cousin Christmas Exchange (my family's high-tech version of the Secret Santa), and of course, the annual company Christmas celebration, which I look forward to every year. This will be my eighth, and it's just as good every year, save for the entertainment portion of the evening. Stand-up comics, improv/music hosts, Rock Band, hypnotists--we've seen them all, and most people don't really care for them. They just want to eat, drink, dance, play some poker, maybe vomit in the bathroom, and socialize and dress up. Last year, I went in my usual suit plus a red sequined top hat and fairy wings. I'm not really sure what I'll do this year, but I have time during the day to find it. Maybe a cape...

I'm also going to take some time during the Christmas break to start writing again. Lyrics, a script, prose, game adventure, videogame concepts: everything. I need to restart my writing and get into the habit of writing for extended stretches again. Between instant messaging, Facebook, message boards, and texting, my tolerance and attention span for extended writing stints has dwindled to nearly nothing. So I will make the time and spend some of the time I would normally spend mucking about online, with writing. More on the new projects in future updates. I figure I can use the blog to get some of my ideas down. This will also force me to update this darn thing more frequently.

Multipurpose!

Dragon Age release!

2009-11-02T23:20:00.005-07:00

Holy crap, I hurt. I'm getting back into the swing of things, exercise-wise. Going back to the gym, doing stuff at home again, and it's been pretty good. I was a fatigued ninja today, though, so I took it easy on the weights. Instead, I did 35 minutes of a flat 3-resistance on the recumbent bike, which made me very happy. Soon, I'll be back to an alternating 6/3-resistance for 30 minutes like I used to do.

But this update isn't about exercise. No, this one is about Dragon Age: Origins, BioWare's latest release. It'll be on store shelves tomorrow, that's Tuesday, November 3. For most of you, by the time you read this update, it will already be quickly flying off store shelves. If our official game forums and brand new BioWare Social Network are any indication, last week's "Borderlands flu"--which I, myself, experienced this past weekend--will look like a scratchy throat compared to this week's Dragon Age-itis. People are already planning on taking the day off to play this game that has been highly anticipated for the last several years.

I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment because, for 2 1/2 years, I was part of the team that built the game, found the flaws and ironed them out, and polished it up into the gem that players all around the world will be seeing. I really feel that Dragon Age: Origins will be BioWare's crowning achievement in the RPG genre. The upcoming Mass Effect 2 may sell more copies, since it's shaping up to be a great game experience, but this will be the game that RPG enthusiasts will be crowing about for months, if not years, as the ultimate in computer role-playing. Funny thing is, that's exactly what they said about the Baldur's Gate series almost exactly 10 years ago, and Dragon Age is billed as "the spiritual successor to Baldur's Gate."

A decade on, and BioWare, with the support and backing of Electronic Arts, is standing on the shoulders of its own giants to present a game which some people likened to the long-anticipated and ultimately-failed Duke Nukem Forever. I wish I could find all those "unfaithful" who doubted us and show them that what they'd been waiting for was worth waiting for. And videogamers of pretty much any stripe can enjoy the game: PC gamers, Xbox360 owners, and PlayStation 3 owners alike.

Okay, that's what the professional in me had to say. The gamer in me has been waiting this whole time to say but one thing:

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Holy mother of crap, folks. Dragon Age: Origins is super-mega-fantasti-awesome! An epic adventure, classic fantasy gaming, 6 awesome origin stories, lots of well-realized characters following you around and commenting on things and providing witty banter in their interactions, dark moral choices, blood, guts, sex, violence, kings, witches, dragons, awesome weapons, and a giant story to rival any that George R.R. Martin could pen! Beleive me, I've played Dragon AGe: Origins and read most of what's available for A Song of Ice and Fire, and I gotta say, I prefer Dargon Age. It's much less depressing and sad, and the people you expect to be heroes don't disappoint.

Get this game, people. You can get it in a retail box, or as a digital download from places like Direct2Drive and Steam, which I know a bunch of you are on so you don't have an excuse not to get this game. It's been a long time coming, and a whole lot of people worked their butts off to get it done, and now it is. Hell, I'm going to get and play the heck out of it because even I haven't seen all this game has to offer yet. They've polished it up, increased the fun-osity, and added some great DLC to it which I've never seen, so that's going to be all new to me.

Don't make me come over there!

The best commercial on television today

2009-10-27T23:15:00.007-07:00

Normally, I see television as a necessary evil. Episodic escapism, scheduling our own lives around the weekly brain shutdowns, digitally recording those shows we can't watch right away, discussing the latest stories with our friends and co-workers online or around the water cooler. Even though I've tried to be good, I love talking about the latest Top Chef episode with my office mate. I enjoy analyzing the latest episode in the "whodunit of the week" and trying to predict the ending. Hell, I even love the formulaic shows, the procedurals, the medical terms I can't understand, the analogies intended to keep the layman viewer in the loop, the twists and turns that keep us on the edge of our seats.

The one thing I've never really been a fan of is commercials. Soul-sucking marketing messages that add to the corporate intrusion we experience everywhere and can never get away from: on billboards while we're driving, before and after anything we watch, everywhere on the web, and even bundled in with other marketing. All of it determined to get the viewer/reader to buy whatever it is that's being sold, some service or product or person. I caution people against blindly accepting such messages and encourage them to question each and every marketing message they're exposed to every day.

So to come upon a commercial that moves me, that makes me smile and want to champion their service or product, is very rare indeed. But recently, there's a commercial I see frequently that makes me feel really good about myself. It makes me want to support the organization, it makes me fully embrace the message being broadcast, and, hell, I'm man enough to admit, it even moves me to tears some times. This miracle ad contains an overused piece of music, a bunch of regular people, and no dialogue. It contains merely a factual chronology of events, an inspirational message, and is a great example of the determination and ingenuity of the human race, how we as a people can band together (with science, no less) and make the world a better place.

What is this miracle advertisement? I'll let you watch it for yourself.

Words can't adequately express how much I love and appreciate this ad. From the very first sign showing when the Princess Margaret Hospital opened its doors and started this mission to the final message of courage and hope ("Conquer cancer in our lifetime"), this ad grabs a hold of my heart and keeps me riveted to the screen. The stories told in short, simple sentences written on bold, blue cards are stories of the triumphs that are seen every day, every month, and every year at the Princess Margaret Hospital. The son who saves his dad by donating bone marrow, the life-saving brain surgery, the limb amputation that doesn't diminish a woman's spirit, the volunteer work and fund-raising efforts undertaken by not only regular folks but patients and survivors, are heartwarming. Though none strikes me harder than the one that comes near the end.

A huge group of people united in a common purpose, all holding signs of their victories and accomplishments, and the one survivor who holds the sign "Given 2 months to live" and flips it at the most emotionally effective moment to reveal "4 years ago." That is a message I can get behind. That group of people is a force that I would be proud to join.

I don't know that anyone in my family has ever suffered from cancer, though my great-grandfather had part of his stomach and some other interior bits removed after decades of a moderate coffee and cigarette habit. I don't know if that was cancer, as I was too young to even know the word at the time, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. My mom has been in the hospital for some procedures, but it's not something she talks about, nor is it something I ask about, so I don't know if any were the big C.

All I know is that cancer is one of the Very Bad Things in the world, and that science is making huge strides in understanding how it works and how it might be stopped. From cancerous cell-blasters to cancer-blocking cell coatings to specially-built nanomachines to some kinda magic genius dolphin shrinking to cell size with a tiny magic wand, things look good for cancer research. None of this sky wizard malarkey, no magic herb or candle or vibration hokum, just plain old, ordinary, beautiful, inspiring science.

Science: is there anything it can't do?

Ninja update: September/October

2009-10-18T19:08:00.002-07:00

It's been a couple of months since my last update, but I've been itching to get back to writing regularly. Every once in a while, it feels like I have nothing to say and that my Facebook updates encapsulate my feelings perfectly. Other times, I feel that Facebook is inadequate to say what I want to say, but I haven't the energy to type it all out. Come on, robot dictation machine, where are you and why did I leave you in the trunk of my flying car?

This update should catch people up regarding the three things I talk about the most: Apocalypse Kow, work, and geekery.

Apocalypse Kow
Remember I mentioned that there was stuff going on that I couldn't talk about until after Fringe? Well, that thing is the most giantest thing to happen to our modest a cappella group since our inception 10 years ago. The Barber, one of our founding members, announced in the months prior to the Fringe Festival that he was intending to leave the group after his August commitments were done. The details of his departure were stressful and troubling, but he needed to free up the time Kow was taking up. His work was sending him to job sites out of town for days, sometimes weeks at a time, he was getting married soon, and he had plenty of other commitments. Fair enough.

What followed after the Fringe, however, was a series of drama-filled emails that sprang out of an inability to properly communicate with each other. There were misunderstandings all around, and heated words were exchanged across the internets, but eventually, after many stressful days of talking things out with a number of people, we settled everything amicably. Any fans of Apocalypse Kow among my regular readers might want to stay tuned for announcements of our February concert, which may very well be the last time Kow performs with its old line-up.

Work
The summer convention season closed with both of our major to-be-released projects, Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect 2, being seen by millions of gamers worldwide. Both games got rave reviews from those who played them at our convention demos, our preview videos and gameplay trailers have been getting hundreds of thousands of hits, and it looks like they will be our most successful games yet.

Regardless of whether you're a hardcore computer RPG player or a console shooter enthusiast, you owe it to yourself to check out both games. They're chock-full of special editions, cross-promotional in-game items, easter eggs, inside jokes, and some of the best stories and character interactions this side of the Final Fantasy series.

It's success like that, that make all the crunch time and sacrifices worthwhile. We do it all for the fans anyway, so to see this groundswell of support and passion for the games is heartening.

Geekery
The main geek event recently was the Pure Speculation Festival, for which I served as Events Coordinator. We have our post-mortem tomorrow, and I don't want to spoil things here that already have in my report, but I'm very pleased with how things turned out. Everyone I talked to had fun, and my part of the event--the discussion panels and presentations--seemed to go without any major hitches, and many of them were standing room only, from the guest of honour panels to the fan films, the science discussions to the pure geekery.

Our guests of honour were, as usual, very entertaining and open to pretty much anything we threw at them: photo ops, autographs, interviews, even joking around with their panel audiences. Rick Green, of Frantics, Red Green, and Prisones of Gravity fame, was a hilarious panelists. I heard that at one of his panels, he told his audience to laugh uproariously whenever a latecomer walked in and he signaled by saying "watermelon." He also posed for a series of pictures where he got annoyed at one of our country music radio station DJs and strangled him. The pictures turned out great!

Our gaming guests of honour love our little convention. Monte Cook, one of the architects of D&D Third Edition, is a huge fan of us and was more than happy to return this year with t-shirts, stories, games, and a "that's what she said" competition with yours truly. He conceded the victory to me. Our other gaming guest of honour was Wolfgang Baur, a designer for Pathfinder. I didn't interact with him very much, but I heard he had a wonderful time and kind of "got" what our geek festival was all about: friendship, community, and sharing one's passions and fandoms.

Our original author guests of honour, Spider and Jeanne Robinson, were unable to make it out this year due to illness, so Regina author Edward Willett stepped up and agreed to be our head honcho on short notice. Along with discussing science and books on some of our panels, he entertained us with song at our preview event. He also donated a very huge prize for our Geeks for Geeks charity auction, the proceeds of which were going to help Jeanne Robinson's fight against cancer. Mr. Willett matched a prize that last year's author guest of honour, Robert J. Sawyer, donated: the winner's name would be used for a character in the author's next book.

Incidentally, speaking of Robert J. Sawyer, is anyone else watching Flash Forward, the ABC drama series based on his science-fiction novel of the same name? It's a pretty awesome premise and differs in all the right ways from the book. Creepy, intriguing, and exciting, that's what I say.

* * *

So there you have it, folks, a summary of the last two months. This upcoming year-end and the next year should be pretty exciting. There are a couple of big projects that I want to either start or start full-scale production on. I'm going to be writing a lot more, and collaborating with at least one good friend, maybe more. More news as it develops.

Things Ninjas Like: The Fringe Festival

2009-08-10T23:25:00.002-07:00

Here's the Fringe schedule for Apocalypse Kow. We're on one of the outdoor stages, and we'll be passing the hat after each performance.

TransAlta Power Stage
----------------------
Saturday, August 15, 5:15 pm – 6:00 pm
Sunday, August 16, 6:15 pm – 7:00 pm
Monday, August 17, 7:15 pm – 8:00 pm
Tuesday, August 18, 8:15 pm – 9:00 pm
Wednesday, August 19, 9:15 pm – 10:00 pm
Thursday, August 20, 10:15 pm – 11:00 pm
Saturday, August 22, 1:15 pm – 2:00 pm
Sunday, August 23, 2:15 pm – 3:00 pm

Edmonton Journal Stage
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Friday, August 14, 10:15 pm – 11:00 pm
Saturday, August 15, 12:15 pm – 1:00 pm
Sunday, August 16, 1:15 pm – 2:00 pm
Thursday, August 20, 5:15 pm – 6:00 pm
Friday, August 21, 6:15 pm – 7:00 pm
Saturday, August 22, 7:15 pm – 8:00 pm